Sant banta joke in Hindi - Kurkure

Santa : Pata hai kurkure khane se kya hota hai?

Banta : Kya hota hai ?

Santa : Socho... socho... socho...

Banta : Nahi pata

Santa : Abe, kurkure khatam ho jate hai !

Short Santa joke - Dishwasher

How do you know Santa has been using a dishwasher?

It's clogged up with paper plates.

Santa banta joke - Phone call

Santa went to a STD/ISD/PCO telephone booth.

He looked at instructions and slapped the operator twice. Guess why ?

Because there it was written "Number Dial Karne Se Pahale Do Lagao"

Santa banta joke - Cheque

Santa : Every month I send cheque to my father.

Banta: That is very good. Then what your father do with that cheque?

Santa: Nothing, just signs it and sends it back to me.

Santa banta sms in Hindi - Party

Santa ko ek party ka invitation mila, jisme likha tha " only pink tie".

Sant vanha gaya, aur dekh kar bola

"O teri, yahna to logo ne paint shirt bhi pehan rakhhi hai !"

Short Santa jokes in Hindi-Choice

Once a Santa was going to his office. On the way he slipped on a banana peel and was badly hurt.

Next day , on his way to the office, he noticed a banana peel and after two days, he noticed two banana peels and exclaimed "are sala, aaj to choice hai"!!!!!!

Santa Banta jokes-Reading from the middle

Santa was very fond of sensational and detective novels, but he always started reading from the middle.

Banta asked why he did so?

"It's doubly interesting", said Santa. "To start from the middle keeps one curious not only about its conclusion but also about its beginning."

Sardar jokes in Hindi-Conversation with Doctor

Doctor to Santa : Ab aapki tabiyat kaisi hai.

Santa : Doctor saheb Pehle se zyada kharab ho gayi hai.

Doctor : dawai khali thi kya?

Santa : Nai doctor saheb. dawai ki shishi to bhari hui thi.

Doctor : Are Pappu ji mere kehne ka matlab hai ki, dawai le lithi kya.

Santa : Ji, aapne dawai de di thi aur maine le li thi.

Doctor: Abe, dawai pili thi kya?

Santa : Oho, nai doctor saheb dawai to lal thi.

Doctor : Abe GADHE, Dawai ko piliya tha kya?

Santa : Nai. Doctor, Piliya to mujhe tha.

Doctor( in frustration) : Abe teri to, Dawai ko muh lagakar Pet me dala tha k nai?

Santa : Nai doctor saheb.

Doctor : Kyon?

Santa : Kyonki dhakkan band tha.

Doctor : Teri sale, to Khola kyon nai.

Santa : Saheb, aapne hi to kaha tha ki, shishi ka dhakkan band rakhna.

Doctor : Tera ilaj main nai kar sakta.

Santa : Accha Doctor saheb ye to bata do ki main thik kaise hounga

Short Santa jokes-Tipsy on Diwali

Spread from tipsy to totally plowed,
On Diwali, partygoers got loud.
Banta had had quite a few
And said, "Rockets won't do."
So he shot off his mouth at the crowd.

Short Santa jokes in Hindi-Proposal

3 Boys proposing to 3 Girls

1= Tu meri Laila, te main tera Majnu.

2= Main tera Ranja, te tu meri Heer.

3= (SANTA) Tu meri Zaara, te main tera VEER....!

Short Santa jokes-Twins

Santa and his Chinese girlfriend accidentally had twins without getting married,
Guess what they named them...
Jo Hua, So Hua.

Santa Banta jokes-Wife and girlfriend

Santa and Banta stopped suddenly while walking down the road.

Santa : Sh*t! My wife and my girlfriend are coming together.

Banta : Sh*t! Mine too!

Short Santa jokes-Wash Basin

Santa goes to a hotel and eats heartily. After eating he goes to wash hands but starts washing the basin instead. The manager comes running and asks him, "what are you doing?"

To this, Santa replies,

"Oye, see the board here ---" Wash Basin ".

Sardar jokes-University exam

Santa is appearing for his University final examination.
He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes
off and throws them out of the window. He then removes his turban and throws it away as well. His shirt,pant,socks and watch follow suit.

The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on.
"Oye, I am only following the instructions here"! It says here "Answer the following questions in brief".

Sardar jokes-Lost Donkey

Having lost his donkey a Sardar, got down to his knees and started thanking God.

A passerby saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing; what are you thanking God for ?"

The Sardar replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn't riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too."

Short Santa joke in Hindi-Rape

Judge:Why you Rape this English Gal?

Santa:Oye Judge Saab Tussi iska naam Puchhoge Toh Tussi bhi Rape kar Doge.

Judge:What's your Name Lady?

Lady :Merry Marlow...!

Short Santa joke in Hindi-Seal

Aunty Ney Sex K Baad Santa Sey Poocha: Oye, Tu Ne Condom Kyun Nahi Lagaya?

Santa: O Aunty, Pack Pey Likha Tha, Do Not Use If The Seal Is Already Broken.

Santa Banta jokes in Hindi-SMS

Santa: Yaar tunay tu sms kar kar k meri tu g*and mar dee,

Banta: Sorry yaar mujhay nahi pata tha tunay mobile aisi jaga par rakha tha

Short Santa jokes-Library

Santa walks into a library & says,

"Can I have a burger and coke?"

Librarian, "I'm sorry, this is a library."

Santa whispers, "Can I have a burger & fries?"

Santa Banta jokes in Hindi-Hair fall

Santa : Abe, tune baal kyun katwa liye?
Banta : Kya karu yaar, hair fall ho raha tha
Santa : Thank God ke tijhe night fall nahi hua!

Santa Banta jokes in Hindi-Neend

Santa: oye.. agar neend na aaye to kya kia jaaye?

Banta: Neend ka intizar karne se achha he ki banda so hi jaye..

Short Santa jokes-Rail ki patri

Santa rail ki patri per so gaya.
Ek aadmi ne kaha kya kar rahe ho? Train aayegi to mar jaoge!
Santa: Mere uper se hawai jahaaz guzar gaya to kuch nahi hua, train kya cheez he?

Santa Banta jokes in Hindi-Computer

Santa: Yaar mujhe 1 hathora or keel chahiye computer ke liye.

Banta: Magar computer me inka kya kaam?

Santa: Oye yaar, mujhe computer me windows lagani he.

Short Santa joke in Hindi-Hitler

Hitler: "There's no word like IMPOSSIBLE in my dictionary"

Santa: "Ab bolne se kya faayda? Jub kharidi thi tab check karna tha na"

Short Santa jokes-Umbrella

Santa ki chhatri me hole tha, kisi nay pucha, umbrella me hole kyun?

Santa bola: Oye baarish ruk jayegi to pata kaise chalega

Santa Banta jokes-Home cooked

Banta called his friend, Santa, and told him that he recently met the woman of his dreams. Now what should he do?

Santa said, "Send her some flowers, and on the card invite her for a home-cooked meal."

Banta liked the idea, so he invited the woman.

The day after the meal Santa calls Banta and asks about the meal.

Banta, "It was a flop idea."

Santa, "Didn't the girl come to your house?"

Banta, "She did, but she refused to cook!"

Santa Banta jokes in Hindi-Garmi

Santa: Aap ko garmi lagti he to kya karte ho?

Banta: AC ke paas ja ke baith jata hu.

Santa: Agar phir bhi garmi lage to?

Banta: To A/C 'on' kar leta hu.!

Sardar jokes-Doctor

Sardar to Doctor: Mujhe ek problem he.

Dr: Kya?

Sardar: Baat karte waqt aadmi dikhai nahi deta

Dr: aisa kab hota he?

Sardar: Phone karte waqt.!!

Short Santa jokes-Jump into swinmming pool

Santa, who is directing a film, says o the actor: You have to jump into a swimming pool from 100 ft.

Actor: But I don't know swimming.

Santa: Don't worry there is no water.

Santa Banta jokes-A place to sleep

Two drunks, Santa and Banta, enter a hotel late at night. They approach the clerk, and Santa says, "Could you pleash give ush a bed with two rooms?"

"You mean a room with two beds?" asks the clerk.

"Whatever, whatever you shay."

So they get a key and somehow manage to stumble upstairs to their room. After fumbling for ten minutes, they even manage to get their door open. As they stumble inside, the door closes behind them and they are in total darkness. They go forward slowly, and both fall on the bed closest to the door.

"Ahh," says Santa, "Now we can get some sleep at last."

As they try to rearrange themselves, they suddenly realize that they are not alone in their bed.

"Hey! There's somebody in my bed!" says Banta.

"There's somebody in my bed too!" says Santa.

"Let's get rid of them. We paid for this room and we're going to sleep in the beds!" says Banta.

They start a tremendous struggle. They heave and push until eventually Santa throws Banta on the floor.

"ALL RIGHT!!" Santa shouts, "I've thrown mine off the bed."

"You're lucky," says Banta, "I got thrown off and I'm too tired to fight any more."

"Well, never mind," says Santa, "Why don't you just come and share my bed. Let's get some sleep round here."

Sardar jokes-Police

Police: Tumhe kal subah 5 baje phaasi di jayegi.

Sardar: Ha Ha Ha Ha!

Police: Kyon huss rahe ho?

Sardar: Main to uth ta hi subha 9 baje hu.!

Short Santa jokes in Hindi-Din raat

Wife: Bus karo raat kay 12 baje se kar rahe ho or subah ke 8 ho chuke hai.thake nahi?

santa: Abhi to kuch nahi kiya ab to din raat karunga q k. mere 1000 msg free hain.

Short Santa jokes-Cyclone

Santa went for an interview.
Bank manager: what is cyclone ?
Santa: It is a smallest loan given by bank to buy a cycle.

Short Santa jokes in Hindi-Murgi ka English

Santa London kay aik hotel me murgi khaane gaya lekin murgi ka English word bhool gaya

Waiter: What would you like to have sir ?

Santa: 1 plate Egg's mother.

Santa Banta jokes in Hindi-Raat ki party

Santa- Kal Raat Ko party main maine ek larki ko RAPE se Baachaya.

Banta -Wah Bhai, Par Kaise??

Santa-Self Control Yaar Self Control !!

Short Santa joke in Hindi-Daughter of Boss

Santa proposed his Boss's daughter.

BoSs: Jitni teri pay hai us me to meri beti kay liye toilet paper be nahi ayega.

Sardar: Jo inni potty kardi hai to phair rehyn do.

Short Santa joke in Hindi-Gabbar

Maa Santa se kehti hai: Beta so ja warna gabbar aa jayega.

Santa apni maa se kehta: Maa mujhe Chocolate do varna papa se keh dunga ke mere sone ke bad roz gabbar aata hai.

Short Santa jokes-Two lines about wife

Examiner: Speak two lines about wife.

Santa : My wife is my right hand & in her absence, my right hand becomes my wife...

Santa Banta jokes in Hindi-Biwi ke saath

Santa : Kal koi meri biwi ke saath so kar gaya aur Rs. 20000/- le gaya
Banta : Saali jhoot bolti hai, Rs. 12000/- the
Santa : Yaar, paise ka itna masla nahee, bas aadmi pata kar!

Santa Banta jokes in Hindi-Intellegent dog

Santa was playing Chess with his Dog!

Banta : Aray wahhh! tera kutta to buhat intelligent hai....

Santa : kiya khaak intelligent hai,

5 me sey 3 to mai jeeta hun...

Short Santa jokes-Doctor

A doctor gets a visit from Santa who is not able to get an erection.
Doctor: Are you married?
Santa: No.
Doctor: Do you masturbate?
Santa: No.
Doctor: Do you visit prostitutes?
Santa: No.
Doctor: Do you have girlfriends?
Santa: No.
Doctor: To phir kharra kar kay kya calender taange ga?

Santa Banta jokes in Hindi-Suraj kab ka nikal aaya

Santa: Uth Jaa... Dekh Suraj Kab Ka Nikal Aaya Hai!

Banta: To Kya Hua Maa?. Woh Sota Bhi To Mujh se Pehle Hi Hai Na!!

Short Santa jokes in Hindi-Kab tak khaoge?

Shaadi mein Santa bahut der tak khana kha raha tha. Kisi ne poocha kab tak khaoge?

Santa: Mein toh khud kha-kha ke dukhi hoon, Per kya karon card mein likha tha Dinner 7 PM to 10 PM.

Short Santa joke in Hindi-Zameen par

Teacher: Zameen par rehne wali janwer bacche deti hai, Hawa mein urne wali andey deti hai! Woh konsi cheez hai jo hawa mai bhi urti hai or bacche bhi deti hai??

Santa: “Air Hostess!”

Santa Banta jokes-Depressed

Santa! Your daughter has died! Depressed, he jumps from the 100th floor
At the 50th floor, he remembers he doesn't have a daughter!
At the 25th flr: He's unmarried!
At the 10th: He's Banta not Santa.

Short Santa jokes-Ring

On a romantic date Santa's girl friend asks him "Darling on our engagement, will you give me a ring?

He said "Ya, sure what's your phone number?

Short Santa jokes-Introduction

Santa and his family went for a party. He introduces himself -
I'm sardar, she sardarnee, the boy my kid & the girl my kidney....

Short Santa jokes-Dance

Santa to girl at a dance party: “Kya tum mere sath dance karogi?”

Girl reply: “Main bacche ke saath dance nahi karti.”

Santa: Sorry mujhe pata nahi tha ki tum pregnent ho.

Short Santa joke in Hindi-6 ladkiyaan

Pandit : Tumhare jeevan mein 6 ladkiyaan aayengi.

Santa: Wow, kya baat hai.

Pandit: Zyada khush honey ki baat nahi hai. Ek gharwali aur 5 betiya hai..

Sardar jokes-Conversation with Teacher

Teacher: Tum barre ho kar kya karoge ?
Sardar : Shaadi..!!!! !!

Teacher: Nahi, mera matlab hai kya banoge?.....
Sardar : Dulha.!!!!!! !!!!!

Teacher: Oh, I mean barre ho kar kya hasil karoge?
Sardar : Dulhan

Teacher: IDIOT mera matlab, barre ho kar mummy papa k liye kya karoge?
Sardar : Bahu launga!!!

Teacher: Stupid tumhare papa tumse kya chahte hain?
Sardar : Pota!!!

Teacher: Hey khuda, tumari zindagi ka kya maqsad hai?
Sardar : Hum do humarey do, jab tak teesra na ho...!!!

Teacher: Aray Tu Aakhir kab sudre ga ?
Sardar : Jab meri shaadi hogi....!!!!

Santa Banta jokes in Hindi-Car ki speed

Santa: Oye, Car ki speed itani kyo badha di..?

Banta: Car ki break fail ho gayi hai, accident ho jaye iske pahale ghar pahunch jaate hai.

Short Santa jokes-Hutch network

A street dog was chasing Santa and he was laughing.
Banta: why are u laughing?
Santa: I have an Airtel phone, but still Hutch network is following me.

Sardar jokes-At the Bar

I had just walked into the city of New York a day before and was tired of the entire day’s work. SO I walked into this bar and ordered a drink. While I was sipping through it, I found this confused sardarji walking upto the bar tender.

The Man on his right said “Johny Walker single”.

The Man on his left said “Peter Scotch single”.

The Sardarji smiled, nodded his head and said – “Baljith Singh Married”.

Santa Banta jokes-Removing wheel

Santa was busy in removing a wheel from auto
Banta: Why are you removing a wheel from your auto?
Santa: Can't u read 'Parking for two wheelers only'

Sardar jokes-Water the palnts

Sardar: Ramu, where are you?

Servant : Coming, saab

The servant came running to the sardar who was standing in his balcony.

Sardar:Ramu, it is 10:00 AM, Go and water the plants.

Servant: But saab it is raining heavily.

Sardar: You idiot. Do I have to tell you what to do and how to do things everytime. Take an umbrella and go and water the plants.

Santa Banta jokes-Why dogs don't marry?

Santa: Why dogs don't marry?
Banta: Because they are already leading a dog's life!

Santa Banta jokes in Hindi-Akal badhi ya bhains

Santa: "Akal badhi ya bhains? "
Banta : "Pehle date of birth to batao."

Short Santa jokes-True music lover

Santa is the true music lover.
A girl is singing in a bathroom while taking a bath and Santa is near the keyhole listening to her.

Short Santa jokes-Petrol pump

Santa opened a petrol pump, but not even one customer went there. You know why?
Because he opened petrol pump on second floor.

Short Santa jokes-Xerox

What does Santa do after taking a xerox?

He compares it with the original for any spelling mistakes.

Short Santa jokes-Need a hand

Santa's son is on a slide in playground

Santa -Beta do you need a hand with that?

Yes, Papa

Santa starts clapping.

After watching his son slip on the slide, Santa says, “Happy journey Beta!!

Santa Banta jokes-How to kill a Lion

Banta : How will you kill a Lion?
Santa thinks and thinks hard & comes to a conclusion:
I'll drink poison n let the lion eat me.

Short Santa jokes-You are married now

Santa’s wife: Stop looking at other women you are married now.
Santa: Arre you mean if I am on diet I cant look at the menu also?

Santa Banta jokes-Cemetery

Santa : Why is a cemetery so popular?
Banta : Everyone is DYING to get in.

Santa joke in Hindi-Badan hila de

Santa: oye waiter ek mast chai pilao jo pura badan hila de.

Waiter: hamare yahan gaai ka doodh aata hai , Rakhi Sawant ka nahin.

Santa jokes-Future tense

Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.
Santa: The future tense is "You will go to jail".

Santa sms joke in Hindi -Galat sangat

Preeto: Raat ko aap peeke gutter mein gir gaye the.

Banta: Kya bataoon, sub galat sangati ka asar hai, hum 4 dost... 1 bottle, aur woh teeno kambhakt peeten nahin.

Short Santa jokes-Lipton di chah

A lady asked Santa: LIPTON di chah hai?
Santa replied: Mainu ta nahi hai ji, tainu hai ta lipat ja...

Santa Banta jokes-Standing below tube light

Santa was standing below a tube light with mouth wide open..
Banta asked, "Why are you standing like this?"
Santa : Because doctor advised "Today's dinner should be light".

Short Santa jokes in Hindi-Exide

Santa went to battery shop n asked to change battery.
The shopkeeper asked: Exide laga du?
Santa: Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya?

Santa jokes-Exam near the door

Q: Why was Santa writing the exam near the door?

A: Because it was an entrance exam.

Short Santa jokes-Car loan

Santa bought a car on loan... He didn't pay the dues, the bank took away his car.

Santa: If I knew this, I'd have taken a loan for my marriage also!

Santa Banta sms jokes-Train coming

Santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway track.
Banta: Santa u'll die.
Santa: U'll die bcoz haven't u heard the announcement-the train is coming on platform?

Short Santa joke in Hindi-Hit a girl

Santa Singh while riding a cycle suddenly hit a girl!
The girl shouted: Ghanti nahi maar sakta tha!!!
Santa: Poori cycle to maar di ab ghanti alag se maroon??!!!

Short Santa jokes-Stop her!

A Teacher was lecturing on Population Explosion - "In India after every 10 sec a woman gives birth to a kid."

Santa stood up and said - "We must find & stop her!".

Santa Banta jokes in Hindi-Main bol raha hoon

Santa: "Hi, Main Bol Raha Hoon".

Banta: "Kamaal Hain, Idhar bhi Main Bol Raha Hoon!"

Santa joke in Hindi-Frog

Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai & jumps into the well.
Santa: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.?

Short Santa jokes-Salary expected

Santa was filling up an application form for a job. He was not sure as to what was to be filled in the column "Salary Expected".

After much thought he wrote : Yes!

Sardar jokes-Blood test

A Sardar went for a Blood test.

To draw his blood, the Nurse rubbed, pressed and played with his finger.

The Sardar started laughing.

Nurse: Why are you laughing?

Sardar: My next test is for Urine.

Santa Banta jokes-Kiss wife

Santa: I kiss my wife everyday before leaving for office, what about u?

Banta: Me too, after u leave.

Short Santa jokes--Hundred bucks

Santa’s son asks for 100 bucks.
Santa says “ 50 bucks? What do you need 20 bucks for?”

Santa Banta jokes in Hindi-Marte waqt

Banta: Marte waqt aadmi ko kya dena chahiye?
Santa: Birla cement.
Banta: Kyun?
Santa: Kyunki is Cement mein jaan hai.

Short Santa jokes-Modern Art

Santa at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call Modern art?

Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, that's a mirror!

Santa Banta jokes-Ford

Santa: What's Ford?
Banta: Gaadi.
Santa : What's Oxford?
Banta: So simple, Bail Gaadi

Short Santa jokes in Hindi-Chicken or egg?

Santa found answer to the most difficult question ever- What comes first - the chicken or the egg?

O yaar, jiska order pehle doge, vo ayega!

Santa banta jokes in Hindi-Gadha

Banta sent sms to Santa: Bhejnewala mahan, padhnewala gadha.

Santa got angry and replied: Bhejnewala gadha, padhnewala mahan.

Short Santa jokes-Restricted

Officer Santa: Madam swimming is restricted in this lake.

Lady: why didn’t you tell me when I was removing my clothes?

Officer Santa: That is not restricted.

Santa Banta jokes-Sinking Titanic

Titanic was sinking. Santa: How much the earth is far from here?
Banta: 1 kilo meter.
Santa jumped into the sea and asked again: "...In which direction?"
Banta: Downwards!

Short Santa jokes-Gay

Santa tells his dad, “Pappaji there is this kid in school who calls me gay”
Santa’s Dad:” Oye beta then punch him!!!”
Santa: “ No papa he is sooooooo cute!!!”

Santa Banta jokes-Feel like working

Santa: "When I woke up this morning, I felt like going out and getting a job."
Banta: "Did you?"
Santa: "No. I stayed in bed until the feeling passed."

Santa jokes in Hindi-Biwi se pareshaan

Banta ek Sadhu se bola: " Baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao."

Sadhu: "Beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?"

Short Santa jokes-Huge losses

Santa invested 2 Lakhs in a business and suffered huge Losses.
Do u know what the business was?
He opened a Saloon in Punjab!

SantaBanta jokes-Lion's cage

Santa: My dad was an extremely brave man. He once entered a lion's cage.
Banta: He probably got a lot of applause when he got out.
Santa: I didn't say he got out.

Santabanta SMS - Cockroach

God : "What u would like to be in next birth, Santa ?"

Santa : " COCKROACH !"

God (surprised) : "Why ?"

Sad Santa : "Because my wife frightens only of cockroach ! "

Banta jokes-Plumber

Professor Banta asked a plumber to come to his college.
U know why?
Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking...

Short Santa jokes-Chinese friend

Santa visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
Man says CHIN YU YAN n dies.
Santa goes to China to find meaning of friend's last words.
It is 'U R STANDNG ON D OXYGEN TUBE!"

Santa Banta jokes-Deaf

Santa: That girl is deaf
Banta: How do you know?
Santa: I said I love her, she said her slippers are new

Short Santa jokes-Grammar lessons

Santa taking grammar lessons
“If more than one mouse is mice then more than one spouse is spice!!!”

Santa Banta sms jokes-Tired

Santa: I got married because I was tired of cooking, cleaning home and washing clothes.

Banta: Amazing, I got divorce for the same reason.

Short Santa jokes-Flies in the air

Teacher: Which animal flies in the air, but gives birth to young ones on land?

Santa (excited for the first time because he knows the answer)

Santa: AIRHOSTESS!!!!

Santa sms joke-Caught for Speeding

Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge.
The judge: What'll you take 30 days or Rs 3000.
Santa: I think I'll take the money.

Short Santa jokes-Formatted

Santa being romantic to his wife.
“One day God tested me , erased all my memory and asked do you remember anyone now?
I told Him your name and He replied, “I am sorry some viruses cannot be formatted”

Sardar jokes-Mobile bill

Sardar : My mobile bill how much?

Call Centre Girl : Sir, just dial 123 to know current bill status

Sardar : Stupid, not CURRENT bill, my MOBILE bill.

Santa Banta jokes-Climbing tree

Santa gets ready, wears his tie and coat; goes out, climbs a tree and sits on the branch regularly.

Banta asks why he does this.

Santa: "I've been promoted as branch manager."

Short Santa jokes-Post

Postman: I have to come 5 miles to deliver you this packet.
Santa: Why did u come so far? Instead u could have posted it....

Santa Banta jokes-Exchanging Berth

Santa: I haven'tnt slept all night in the train.
Banta: Why?
Santa: I got an upper berth.
Banta: Why did'nt you try to exchange your berth with someone?
Santa: Oye, there was nobody to exchange in the lower berth..

Short Santa jokes-Do you drink?

Do you drink? Girl’s father asked Santa.

Santa says “ first tell me whether it’s a question or an invitation?

Santa Banta jokes-Writing slowly

Santa was writing something very slowly.
Banta asked: "Why are you writing so slowly?"
Santa: "I'm writing to my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast."

Short Santa jokes-Divide

When Santa & his wife filed an application for divorce, the Judge asked: "How will you divide, you have 3 children?"

Pat came Santa's reply: "Ok! We'll apply NEXT YEAR."

Santa jokes-Complimentary

Santa walks into a bar, sits down and orders a beer. As he sips the beer he hears a soothing voice say “nice tie”. He looks around and is baffled to see that there is no one there except him and the bartender at the other end of the room.

A few sips later the voice says “beautiful shirt”.

Santa panics and calls the bartender over and says “I must be losing my mind, I can hear these voices say nice things but there is no one else except you and me”.

The bartender points to the table and says “oh it’s the peanuts , they are complimentary'.

Sardar jokes-Watch a film

19 Sardars went to watch a film.

On being questioned about the big group, they replied that the film was only for above 18...

Santa sms joke-Savings account

Santa went to a bank to open a Savings A/C. After seeing form, he went to Delhi. Guess why?

The FORM said "FILL UP IN CAPITAL ".

Banta jokes-Remedy for cross eyed bull

Banta has a cross-eyed bull that keeps bumping into things. He calls up to vet to try to remedy the problem.

The vet says, "I think the best thing is to stick a pipe up his ass and blow real hard and the bulls' eyes will straighten out."

The vet - a 70 year old man - inserts the pipe and blows. The bulls' eyes begin to straighten, but the vet soon looses his breath and the bulls' eyes are crossed again. The vet gives it another try, but looses his breath again.

The vet looks at Banta and says, "You look like a strong man, why don't you give it a try."

Banta agrees. He then takes the pipe out of the bulls' ass, turns it around, and sticks it back in. He then begins to blow.

"Shit!!!" says the vet. "What in the hell did you do that for?"

Banta replies, "You don't think I am going to put my mouth on the same end of the pipe that you had your on."

Santa jokes-For the House

Santa was not home at his usual hour, and his wife, Preeto, was fuming, as the clock ticked later and later. Finally, about 3:00 AM she heard a noise at the front door, and as she stood at the top of the stairs, there was Santa, drunk as a skunk, trying to navigate the stairs.

"Do you realize what time it is?" she asked.

He answered, "Don't get excited. I'm late because I bought something for the house."

Immediately her attitude changed, and as she ran down the stairs to meet him halfway, she asked, "What did you buy for the house, dear?"

Santa's answer was, "A round of drinks!"

Santa Banta jokes in Hindi-Study of natives

Santa and Banta fly to the south sea islands to study the natives. They go to two adjacent islands and set to work. A few months later Santa takes a boat over to the other island to see how Banta is doing. When he gets there, he finds Banta standing among a group of natives.

"Greetings! How is it going?" says Santa.

"Wonderful!" says Banta, "I have discovered an important fact about the local language! Watch!"

He points at a palm tree and says, "What is that?"

The natives, in unison, say, "Umbalo-gong!"

He then points at a rock and says, "And that?"

The natives again intone, "Umbalo-gong!"

"You see!", says the beaming Banta, "They use the SAME word for 'rock' and for 'palm tree'!"

"That is truly amazing!" says the astonished Santa, "On the other island, the same word means 'index finger'!"

Short Santa jokes-Mother tongue

Pappu while filling up a form: What should I write against mother tongue?

Santa: Very long...

Short Santa jokes-Who killed Gandhi

Santa went for an interview for the post of a detective.
Interviewer : Who killed Gandhi?
Santa : Thank you sir for giving me the job, I will start investigating.......

Short Santa joke in Hindi-Language blues

A Tamilian call up sardar and asks " tamil therima??"

Santa got mad, angrily replied.... "Hindi tera baap!!!"

Short Santa jokes in Hindi-Hum Teeno

Premika ke ghar ke bahar kafi der tak sexy baatein karne ke baad, Santa finally bola..
Darling after all, hum "Teeno" kab tak aise khade rahenge??

Sardar jokes-STD call to Punjab

Sardar wanted to make a STD call to Punjab,
He wanted to save money so what did he do?

Simple, he went to Punjab and made a local call..

Santa Banta jokes in Hindi-Drinking and driving

Santa: Drinking n driving dono saath saath nahee ho sakte.

Banta: Y?

Santa: Jo speed breaker aa gaya, to peg chalak jayega!

Santa Banta jokes-Fine

Banta asked Santa -What is a Fine?

Santa - A Fine is a tax for doing wrong

Banta asked again - And what is Tax?

Santa - A Tax is a fine for doing Right!!

Santa Banta jokes in Hindi-Free in Dubai

Santa: Dubai mein sab kuch free hai,
Taxi,
Hotel
Khana
Pina,
Yahan tak ki Sex bhi

Banta: Wow, tu kab gaya tha?

Santa: Mai nahi yaar, meri wife gayee thi...

Santa Banta sms jokes-Won in race

Santa: Nice watch!
Banta: Thanks, I won it in a race.
Santa: How many runners?
Banta: Just three. A policeman, the owner of the watch and me!

Santa Banta jokes-Divorce on first night

Santa: I divorced my wife on the very first night.

Banta: Why, so?

Santa: I saw the label on her panties, "Tested OK by Phagwara Group."

Short Santa jokes-Side effect

Santa was very happy after taking Viagra.
He said : All the medicines have side effect - only Viagra has FRONT effect

Santa joke in Hindi-Lipstick

Wife : Ye aap ki shirt per lipstick ka nishan kahan se aaya?

Santa : Mein khud pareshaan hoon nishan dekh kar. Maine tu uss waqt shirt utaari hui thi.

Short Santa jokes-Dissection class

Santa is in a dissection class of cockroach. He cuts its 1 leg, and says, "walk", it walks.
He cuts 2nd and 3rd legs and said, "walk" , it walks.
He cuts all the legs and said, "walk....." Finally he wrote the conclusion........
"after all the legs of a cockroach are cut - it becomes deaf......"

Santa Banta jokes in Hindi-Bada laptop

Banta: tujhe apna laptop bada karwana hai..?

Santa: Haan yaar..

Banta: to fir Isme se Window nikalwa ke darvaja fit karva Le..

Sardar jokes-Joe se bolo

Teacher: A for?
Sardar: Apple
Teacher: Jor se bolo?
Sardar: Jay mata di.

Short Santa jokes-Great man

One tourist from U.S.A .asked Santa: Any great man born in this village?

Sardar: No sir, only small babies!!!

Santa Banta jokes-Misers all

Santa: I'm a miser, I went to honeymoon alone & saved half the money.

Banta: You are nothing I saved all my money, my friend was going & I sent my wife with him.

Short Santa jokes-Couple next door

Santa's wife drew his attention to the couple next door and said, "Do you see that couple? How devoted they are? He kisses her every time they meet. Why don't you do that?"

Santa : "I would love to, "But I don't know her well enough...may be you could introduce us..!

Santa Banta jokes-Lorry accident case

Santa and Bantaare looking at an Egyptian mummy.
Santa : Look so many bandages, this has to be a lorry accident case.
Banta: Right, lorry number is also written...BC 1760!!!

Short Santa jokes-Tipu Sultan's Chair

Santa went to Mysore palace.
Tourist guide - Santaji plz dont sit there, its Tipu sultan's chair
Santa - Oye dont worry yaar i'll get up when he comes.!!

Short Santa jokes-Never marry

Santa declares:
I will never marry in my life &. . .
I'll give same advice to my children also. . . .. .

Sardar jokes-Subsidy

Santa told his wife Lali that the federal government is giving subsidy to support those families having five children. We got Kali, Bali, Mali and Nali four children and we are just short of one to claim the subsidy. But I have one illegitimate child with my girlfriend which now I should go and get and claim subsidy money.

So he went and came back with the fifth child and asked wife Lali, I brought this Pali, where are Kali, Bali, Mali and Nali now? I don't see them.

The wife said, well the fathers whom they belonged to took them away.

Santa joke in Hindi-Ek saal se baat nahi ki

Santa: Judge saab, mujhe TALAAQ chahiye, meri biwi nay ek saal se mujh say baat nahi ki

Judge: Aik bar phir sochle beta, aisi biwi nasib walon ko milti hai!

Short Santa jokes-Can't hear anything

Teacher: What do u call a person who cannot hear anything?

Santa: You can call him anything, because he cannot hear anything

Santa Banta joke in Hindi-Pairon pe kharra

Santa: Doctor ne mujhe kaha tha kay woh do haftay mein mujhe pairon par kharra kar dega!

Banta: Accha kya woh aisa kar paya?

Santa: Haan, uska bill chukane kay liye mujhe apni car jo bechni parri.

Short Santa jokes-Evidence

Judge: Can you please tell me the exact place where this man raped your wife?

Santa quickly lifted his wife's skirt, who was not wearing underwear & said, "At this spot my lord, at this spot."

Santa Banta jokes-Color

Santa : What is difference between Orange and Apple?

Banta : Color of Orange is orange, but color of Apple is not APPLE

Sardar jokes-Dr. Santa Singh

After finishing his MBBS, Dr. Santa Singh starts his Own practice.

He checked his first patient's Eyes,

Then the tongue, and finally the Ears using a torch.

Finally he said Battery is Ok !!!

Banta joke-Furious wife

As the crowded elevator descended, Banta's wife, Preeto, became increasingly furious with Banta, who was delighted to be pressed against a gorgeous girl.

As the elevator stopped at the main floor, the girl suddenly whirled, slapped Banta, and said, "That will teach you to pinch!"

Bewildered, Banta was halfway to the parking lot with Preeto when he choked, "I... I... didn't pinch that girl."

"Of course you didn't," said Preeto, consolingly, "I did."

Short Santa jokes-Common

Teacher: "What is common between JESUS, KRISHNA , RAM, GANDHI and BUDDHA?"

Sardar: "All are born on government holidays...! !!

Short Santa joke-Force of habit

Santa told wife on honeymoon night, here keep this $200.00 as I never did this free to a woman, just the force of habit.

Wife returned $100.00 to Santa and said, I never overcharged my customers just the force of habit

Santa Banta sms jokes-Electricity

Santa: Oye, what will happen if electricity is not discovered?

Basnta: Nothing, we must watch TV in candle light.

Short Santa jokes-New practice

After finishing MBBS, Santa started his practice.
He checked the first patient's eyes, tongue & ears with a Torch & finallly said:

"Torch is okay"

Sardar jokes in Hindi-Punjabi Bra advertisement

A Punjabi BRA advertisement:

Har kudi di pahli pasand, PREETO BRA. Hun 6 sizan wich:

1. Small

2. Medium

3. Large

4. Oye Hoye !!

5. Hai o rabba !

6. Oh Teri Bhain di !!!!

Short Santa joke-Recognize

Q:) How do you recognize Santa in school or College???

A:) He is the one who erases his notebook when the teacher erases the blackboard.

Sardar jokes-Door bell

A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell,

Santa doesn't turns up for 4 days.

Lady calls again, Santa replies,

I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out.

Short Santa jokes-Essay on Cricket match

A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match.

All were busy writing except Santa.

He wrote 'DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!'

Shor santa singh jokes - postman

Postman: I have to come 5 miles to deliver you this packet.

Santa singh: Why did you come so far. Instead you could have posted it...

Short Santa singh jokes - Plants

Santa singh to servant: Go and water the plants.

Servant: It's raining.

Santa Singh: So what take an umbrella and go !!!

Short Santa joke in Hindi-Geeta pe haath

Lawyer to Santa: 'Gita pe haath rakhkar kaho ke...... '

Santa:'Yeh kya, Sita pe haath lagaya, toh court mein bulaya. Ab fir Gita pe haath!!'

Short Santa joke-Figure like Coke

Santa: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle.

Jeeto: Yes darling I still do, only difference is earlier it was 300ml Now it's 2 ltr.

Santa joke in Hindi-Surprise

Santa'a Son : "Mummy mummy... Mujhe aik bhai chahiye!"

Mummy, "Tumhare papa abhi Dubai gaye hue hain.. Woh waapis aayain phir sochenge!"

Santa's son : "Kyun na aap papa ko surprise hi de do?"

Short Santa jokes-Same color

Santa's wife goes to superstore, sees mens underwear on sale. She buys a dozen of the same color. Goes home and gives them to hubby.

Santa protests, "Why buy me the same color? People will think I do not change underwear!!"

Wife asks, ”Which people?"

Santa bnata jokes - Affair

Santa, “Why not add some intrigue to your life and have an affair?"

Banta, “But what if my wife finds out?”

Santa, “Heck, this is a new age we live in. Go ahead and just tell her about it.”

Banta goes home to his wife and says, “Preeto, I think an affair will help bring us closer together.”

Preeto, “Forget it, I’ve already tried that. It didn’t work.”

Santa banta hindi jokes - Wife

Banta: Wife agar husband ko naukar samje to husband ko kya karna chahiye?

Santa: Zyada kuch nahi, do char ghar aur pakad lene chahiye

Santa Banta SMS jokes - Bomb

Santa and Banta were fixing a bomb in a car.

Santa : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.

Banta : Don't worry, I have one more

Sardar jokes-One year older

Santa Banta jokes-SWOT book

SWOT BOOK filled by Santa.
1.Strength:My wife,Jeeto.
2.Weakness:Banta's wife, Preeto.
3.Oppurtunity: When Banta is on tour.
4.Threat: When I am on tour

Short Santa joke in Hindi-TV ke alava

Santa Police se: Kal raat chor mere ghar se TV ke alava sab samaan Le gaye.

Police: TV kyon nahi legaya??

Santa:TV to me dekh raha tha is liye..

Sardar jokes-In School

How do you recognize a Sardar in School?

He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.

Short Santa jokes-MS Office

Santa attending an interview in Software Company.

Manager : Do U know MS Office?

Santa : If U give me the address I will go there sir.

Sardar SMS jokes - Boss

Sardar sent SMS to his BOSS: “Me sick, no work”

Boss SMS back: “When I am sick I kiss my wife try it”

2 hours later sardar sms 2 boss: “Me ok, ur wife very sweet”

Sardar Jokes - Book

A sardar walked up to the front desk of the library and said, "I

borrowed a book last week, but it was the most boring I've ever read.

There was no story whatsoever, and there were far too many characters!"

The librarian replied, "Oh, you must be the person who took our phone book."

Short Santa jokes-Children after 35

Question : "Should Women have Children after 35?"

Santa : Replied : "No!

35 Children are More than Enough!!"

Santa singh jokes - Credit Card

Waiter gives bill to Santa:

Santa: Take this card.

Waiter: But sir, This is voter card.

Santa: So what? You have written there ALL CARDS ACCEPTED.

Santa jokes - Race

In A 1OO Meter Race, It Was Announced

1

2

3

Start.

All Started Running Except Santa.

Coach: Why Are You Still Waiting?

Santa: My No Is 4!

Santa Banta SMS jokes - Nagpanchami

SANTA: DO YOU KNOW ENGLISH ?

BANTA: YES

SANTA: OK! THEN TELL WHAT IS OPPOSITE OF NAAG PANCHAMI?

BANTA: SO SIMPLE YAAR ......... NAAG DO NOT PUNCH ME.

Santa Banta SMS Jokes - Coin

Santa went to temple & saw people putting coin in box & praying

Santa: Wow! How amazing. People are talking to God through coin phone without receiver

Santa Banta jokes-Dead bird

One day Santa was walking down the beach with some friends when he suddenly shouted
'Look at that dead bird!'

Banta looked up at the sky and said...'where?'

Santa's musings in Hindi-Love accident

Naa ye CHEMISTRY hoti, na me STUDENT hota Na wo LAB hoti, na wo LOVE ACCIDENT hota

Tabhi PRACTICAL ke waqt nazar aayi ek ladki khubsurat si naak uski TEST TUBE jaisi

Uski baaton me GLUCOSE ki mithas thi ETHYL ALCOHOL si thandi uski saans thi

Andhere me wo RADIUM ki tarah chamakti thi jab aankh mili to REACTION hua, love ka PRODUCTION hua!

Fir to lagne lage uske ghar ke chakkar aise, NUCLEUS ke charo aur ELECTRON jaise

Jis din TEST ka PERFECTION tha us din uske pitaji se hamara INTRODUCTION tha

Mano IGNITION TUBE se SODIUM ke piece nikal pade wo bole hosh me aao, pehchano apni aukat IRON kabhi mil nahi sakta GOLD ke saath!

Is tarah tod diya unhone hamare armano ka BEAKER hum chup hi reh gaye BENJALDEHYDE ka ghoont pikar.

Ab unki yado ke bina hamara kaam chalta nahi hain zindagi ho gayi AB UNSATURATED CARBON ki tarah, bekar ghumte AB hum awaara HYDROGEN ki tarah.

Short Santa jokes-Shame

Judge : Don't you have any shame? It is the 3rd time you are coming to court.

Santa to judge : You are coming to court daily, don't you have shame?

Hindi Santa Banta jokes - Light Bulb

Santa 100 watt bulb par baap ka naam likh raha tha

Banta ne puchha "kya kar rahe ho?"

Santa : Bap ka naam roshan kar raha hoon.

short sardar jokes - Test

In aptitude test... Sardar was asked a question

"River Kaveri is in which state?"

Sardar: liquid state (brilliant answer).

Santa Banta jokes-Oldest animal

Santa : Which is the oldest animal in world?

Banta: ZEBRA

Santa : How?

Banta : Bcoz it is Black & White

Santa Banta SMS - Hindi to English

Santa : I have done English course so now speak in English with me

Banta : Tu pahale mai kahata hu woh English kar ke dikha

Santa : Tell me . I can do it right now.

Banta : "Khushi ke mare uski chhati phool gayi”.

Santa: Due to happiness, his chest became breast.

Santa Banta Joke - Sucide

Santa is trying to commit suicide on the railway tracks and he takes along some wine and chicken with him.

Banta stops him and asks "kyon bhai, ye sab kyon leke baithe ho?" (Why do you take these things with you?).

Santa replies "Saali train late aayi to, kahin bhookh se na mar jaun" (If the stupid train comes late, I will die of hunger!)

Short Santa jokes-Car for wife

Friend : I got a brand new Ford IKON for my wife!

Sardar : Wow!!! That's an unbelievable exchange offer!!!

Santa jokes in Hindi-Insaaniyat

Santa amir aadmi ke ghar mein chori karne gaya. Tijori pe likha tha Tijori ko todne ki jaroorat nahi hai, 452 number press karke sahmne vala lal batan dabao, tijori khul jayegi. Jaise hi batan daba alarm Baja aur police aa gayi.

Jate jate Santa Seth se bola: Aaj mera insaaniyat se vishwas uth gaya hai!

Short Santa joke in Hindi-Inflation

Santa ki Patni : Yeh inflation kya hai?

Santa : Pehle tu 36-24-36 thi, ab 48-38-48 hai. Ab tere paas pehle se sab zyada hai, phir bhi teri value kam hai, yeh hi INFLATION hai!

Sardar jokes-Cracking walnuts

A traveling salesman drove into a small town where a circus was playing.

A sign read: 'Don't Miss the Amazing Sardar.'

The salesman bought a ticket and sat down.

There, under The Big Top, in the center ring, was a table with three walnuts on it. Standing next to it was a middle-aged Sardar.

Suddenly, the Sardar dropped his pants, whipped out his huge male equipment and - crack, crack, crack - smashed all three walnuts with three mighty swings!

The crowd erupted in applause and the Sardar was carried off on their shoulders.

Fifteen years later the salesman visited the same little town, found the same circus and saw the same faded sign that read, 'Don't Miss the Amazing Sardar'

He couldn't believe the old guy was still alive, much less still doing his act!

He bought a ticket.

Again, the center ring was illuminated.

This time, however, instead of walnuts, three coconuts were placed on the table. The Sardar stood before them, and then suddenly dropped his pants and - thud, thud, thud - smashed the coconuts with three swings of his amazing equipment.

The crowd went wild!

Amazed, the salesman requested a meeting with him after the show.

'You're incredible!' he told the Sardar 'but I have to know something. I saw your act 15 years ago and you were using walnuts. Why the switch from walnuts to coconuts?'

'Oye Puttar', said the Sardar. 'Ye to umr ka takaza hai. Ab mai buddha ho gaya hoon'

Salesman is puzzled, says "But Prahji, what has it got to do with age?

Sardar "Oye khotey, my eyesight is bad now. I can't see the walnuts!"

Santa Banta jokes in Hindi-Phone nahee leta

SANTA- Yaar Maine Tujhe Kitni Baar Call Kiya Lekin Tune Phone Nahi Uthaya.

BANTA- Kyon Uthaun,Jo Maine 30 Rs De Ke Gana Lagwaya Hai Use Kya Tera Baap Sunega?

Santa Banta jokes-Sania Mirza

Santa: Main Ne SANIA MIRZA se Phone Par Baat Ki..

Banta: That’s Great Yaar. Uss Ne Kya Kaha..??

Santa: Uss Ne Kaha..Wrong Number.

Santa jokes in Hindi-Dimag paani mein

Santa dimag ko paani mein duba rahaa tha...

Biwi - Kya hua?

Santa - Chalta nahee

Biwi - To paani mein kyon duba rahe ho?

Santa - Dekh rahaa hoon PUNCHER to nahee hai!

Sardar jokes-Paint my Porch

A Sardar, recently arrived in the US, wanting to earn some money, decides to become a 'handy-man' and starts looking for some work in an up market colony nearby.

He goes to the front door of the nearest house and asks the owner, another Indian, if he had any odd jobs for him to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch, how much will you charge?" the owner says.

The Sardar responds, "How about $50?"

The owner says "Fine, there's a can of brown paint and brushes in the garage."

The owner's wife, inside the house, overhearing the conversation asks to her husband, "Does he realize that the porch goes all around the house? That's a whole day's job."

The man replies, "He should; he was standing on it. Do you think he's dumb?"

"No, I don't think so. I guess I'm just influenced by those stupid Sardar e-mail jokes we keep receiving."

A short time later, the Sardar comes to the door and asks for the $50.

"You've finished already?" the husband asks.

"Yes," he replies, "and there was paint left over, so I gave it two coats."

Impressed, the man reaches into his pocket for the money and hands it to him.

"And by the way," the turbaned guy adds, "it's not a Porch, it's a BMW..."

Santa jokes-Happy and Sad

Santa & wife are having dinner together.
Wife: Darling, tell me something that would make me both happy & sad.
Santa : Your nipples are better than your sister's!

Short Santa jokes-Addition to Newton's Law

Santa badly wanted to be known as a great man. So after a long research he made an addition to Newton's Laws of Motion and was awarded 2010 Nobel Prize. It says:

"Loose motion can never be done in slow motion".

Santa joke in Hindi-Salary

Lady in a bus, "Aapka kuchh mujhe touch ho raha hai"

Santa, "Ohhh.. Woh to meri salary pocket me hain na woh hogi"

Lady,"Abey Saale! Teri salary 2 minute me 4 guna badh gayi hai kya?"

Santa Banta joke-Scared of Water

Santa: Pal, my wife is very much scared of water.

Banta: How can you say that.

Santa: When I go home at noon, she is taking bath with the security guard.

Santa Banta SMS - Message to girlfriend

Santa: I sent SMS to my Girlfriend that I will be coming in night.

And when I went in night she was with somebody else.

Banta: Do not get disappointed !

It is possible that she might not have received SMS.

Santabanta jokes - Viagra

Santa walking through a bazaar, when a stranger comes up to him and offers to sell him some illegal Viagra for 1,000 Rupees.

"No, not worth it !"

"OK, how about 500 Rupees?"

"No, not worth it !"

"OK, 200?"

"No, not worth it!"

"How about 100?"

"No, not worth it!"

"Listen, these pills cost $10 American each. How can you say they are not worth it?"

"Oh no ! the pills are worth it, it's my wife who is not worth it."

Santa jokes in Hindi-Kiss naam se save

Santa apni girlfriend se milne gaya, kuch baat ke baad uski girlfirend chaye(tea) banane ke liye kitchen chali gayi.

Girlfriend ka mobile sofay pe dekh kar Santa ne socha ke chalo dekhte hai mera number iss ne kis naam se save kya hai? Dear, sweetu ya jaanu.

Jab usne missed call di toh screen pe likha tha : Murgha No.5 Calling .

Short Santa joke in Hindi-Butter Naan

Santa ek party mein gaya aur waha usne 8 butter naan kha liye.

Kuch der baad toilet mein pet pakad ke ro raha tha bhagwan se request kar raha tha ki, Hey bhagwan ya toh jaan nikal de ya naan nikal de!

Short Santa joke-Make sentence in english

Interviewer: Can you make a sentence using GREEN, PINK and YELLOW.

Santa: Yes sure, why not.
My phone rings GREEN GREEN, I PINK it up and say YELLOW.

Sardar joke-Cheating in exam

3 Sardars after exam
1st:Yaar mujhey kuch nahi ata tha, main paper khali chor aya hon.
2nd: Main bhi!
3rd:Shit yaar, teacher samjhegi hum ne cheating ki hay!

Santa Banta jokes-Bathroom mein

Santa: Tum bathroom mein kyu ghus aaye, Kya tumhe pata nahi tha ki mein naha raha hoon?

Banta: Galti ho gayi, mein samjha tumhari wife hai.

Santa Banta jokes in Hindi-Purse bhool gaya

Santa to Banta: Main apna purse ghar bhool aaya, mainu 1000 Rs chahide si.

Banta: Dost hi dost de kam aunda hai, le 10 Rs, riksha kar te purse le aa.

Santa Banta joks-Drink coffee fast

Santa: (in a coffee shop to Banta):Drink the coffee fast.
Banta: Why? It is too hot.
Santa: I am paying. Drink it hot.
Banta: Why?
Santa: Didn't you see the menu? Hot coffee Rs.30. Cold coffee Rs.45

Sardar jokes-Arrested!

A Sardarji , a German and a Pakistani got arrested consuming alcohol which is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia , so for the terrible crime they are all sentenced 20 lashes each of the whip.

As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik announced:
'It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping.'

The German was first in line; he thought for a while and then said:
'Please tie a pillow to my back.'

This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes & the German had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain.

The Pakistani was next up. After watching the German in horror he said smugly: '
Please fix two pillows to my back.'

But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes & the Pakistani was also led away whimpering loudly.

The Sardarji was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said:

'You are from a most beautiful part of the world and your culture is one of the finest in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!'

'Thank you, your Most Royal and Merciful highness,' Sardarji replied.

'In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes.'

'Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave.' The Sheik said with an admiring look on his face.

'If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it.' And what is your second wish?' the Sheik asked.

Sardarji smiled and said, 'Tie the Pakistani to my back' !!!

Short Santa jokes-Passive voice

Santa was writing the passive voice of 'I made a mistake.'

He wrote: I was made by a mistake.

Santa Banta jokes in Hindi-Deaf lagti hai

Banta: Wo ladki deaf lagti hai. Main kuch kehta hoon, woh kuch aur hi bolti hai.

Santa: Kaise?

Banta: Maine kaha I Luv U, to woh boli 'Maine kal hi Naye Sandal kharide hain'

Short Santa jokes-Nurse

Santa to a doc: Apne nurse bahut achchi rakhi hai, uska haath lagtey hi mein theek ho gaya.

Doc: Jaanta hoon, thappad ki awaaz mujhe bhi sunai di thi.

Sardar jokes-Ghar pe nahin

Phone ki ring baji.

Santa: Phone mere liye ho to kehna mein ghar pe nahin hoon.

Jeeto phone pe: Wo ghar pe hain.

Santa: Maine mana kiya that...

Jeeto: Phone mere liye tha!

Short Santa jokes-Crow shit

A crow shits on a Banta. Preeto gives tissue paper to him.

Banta: Koi phayda nahin, kauwa toh ud gaya!

Santa Banta jokes in Hindi-Pappi

Santa: Oh yaar main badi mushkil mein hoon. Meri biwi mujhse ek pappi ka Ek rupeya leti hai.

Banta: Oh yaar tu lucky hai, auron se to woh 5 rupye leti hai.

Short Santa jokes-A & B

Santa meets his old friend.

Santa: A & B, A & B, A & B, A & B, A & B.

Friend: Oye, iska matlab?

Santa: Kuch nahin yaar, I mean long time no C.

Santa Banta jokes in Hindi-Topein

Banta: Jab main paida hua tha to military walon ne 21 topein chalayeen thi.

Santa: Kamaal hai ! Sab ka nishana chook gaya ?

Short Santa jokes-Sona kahan hai?

Daku Mangal Singh Banta ke ghar mein ghusa aur bola: Sona kahan hai, jaldi bataao

Banta: Pura ghar khali hai malko, jithe marzi so jao!

Short Santa jokes in Hindi-Gobar jaisa

Santa to Jeeto: Kaisi sabzi banai hai, bilkul Gobar jaisa swad hai.

Jeeto, maatha peet te hue: Hey bhagwan! Na jane inhone kya-kya kha ke dekha hua hai.

Santa Banta jokes-The party

Santa moved into a new house in a Lalu Colony.

The neighbor Milka singh who came to help said, “Hey what do you say, I have party in my house, there will be drinking, eating, singing, dancing, kissing, hugging, caressing, f*cking, and all that, Want to join?

Banta said, "Sure I enjoy sexy parties, what should I wear for the party?"

Santa said, "Oh come as you are, it is just only you and me."

Santa Banta jokes-Switched Off

Santa: I tried ur number so many times, it always said 'Switched Off'!"

Banta: Nooo, it's my HELLO TUNE!

Short Santa jokes-Colours

Santa went out to buy an Indian flag.

The shop owner gave him the flag.

Guess what did he ask next...

Ismein aur colour dikhayiye.

Santa Banta jokes-De brief

Santa rushes to his boss.
"Sir, Banta is standing outside your office with a basket full of underwear".
Boss: "Holy shit, I told him to 'de-brief' his team."

Sardar jokes-Donkey kick

A donkey kicked a Sardar & ran away.
Sardar ran to catch the donkey.
He saw a zebra & started beating it & said 'SALA Tracksuit pahan ke dhoka de raha hai'.

Santa jokes-Photo in wallet

Jasmeet : You always carry my photo in your wallet to the office. Why?
Santa : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Jasmeet : You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Santa : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?"

Short Santa Banta jokes - Driver

Santa's wife ran away with his driver.

So Banta asked "What you will do now ? "

Santa: "What's big deal in that ? I will drive the car myself "

Santa Banta jokes in Hindi-Plastic surgery

Santa bada dukhi tha!

Banta ne uss se poocha, kyun tension mein ho?

Santa: Yaar ek dost ko plastic surgery ke liye 2 lakh rupeey diye thay, aB saale ko peehchan nahi pa raha hoon!

Santa Banta sms jokes-Gaay ka doodh

Santa Ek kilo gaay(cow) ka doodh dena.

Banta: Lekin tumhara bartan toh bahut chhota hai.

Santa: Theek hai toh phir bakri ka de de.

Short Santa jokes-Go further

Santa was driving with girlfriend Preeto to Chandigarh. He puts his hand on her lap.
She smiles and says, "You can go further dear..".
So, Santa drives to SHIMLA.

Sardar jokes-Santa's wife

Wife: Aap bahut mote ho gaye ho.
Santa: Tum bhi toh kitni moti ho gayi ho,
Wife: Main toh maa banne wali hoon!
Santa: Main bhi toh baap banne wala hoon.

Santa Banta jokes-Test By Puncture

Santa meets Banta in a hospital and expresses surprise, "What are you here for?"

Banta says, "I am here for blood test and these idiots are going to puncture my finger."

Santa started crying, "Oh my God, I am here for urine test and I am too young yet, what will happen to me?"

Short Santa jokes-Slapped telephone operator

Santa went to a STD/ISD/PCO SHOP and slapped the operator twice. Guess why ?
Because there it was written "Number Dial Karne Se Pehele Do Lagae"

Funny Santa Jokes - Bullet proof

Santa joined army.

While going on border he put on mosquito mat instead of bullet proof jacket.

Captain asked " Why are you wearing mosquito net ? "

Santa replied " If mosquito can not enter into it , how bullet will enter ? "

Short Santa jokes-Like most

Jasmeet : "What do you like most in me: my pretty face or my body?"
Santa : looking at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of Humor".

Santa Banta Jokes in Hindi - family

Santa ne Banta ko apni family se introduce karvaya

" O ji , main sardar hun , ye meri sardarni hai ,

ye mera kid hai aur ye meri kidni (kidney) hai !"

Santa banta SMS - all keys

Santa sends sms message to Banta

A B C D E F G H I J K

L M N O P Q R S T U

V W X Y Z

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0

Thank GOD , all keys are working !

Short Santa jokes-Choices

It was mealtime on Punjab Airline .
Air Hostess : "Would you like dinner?"
Santa : "What are my choices?"
Air Hostess : "Yes or no"

Santa Banta jokes-Infuriated

Santa : "When my wife is infuriated, she starts shouting at me, my children and even at our dogs and nobody dares answer her."
Banta : "And when you are angry, what do you do?"
Santa : "I also shout angrily at the windows and doors of the house and none of them dares to answer back."

Santabanta SMS jokes - Train

Santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway track.

Banta: Santa u’ll die.

Santa: U’ll die bcoz haven’t u heard train is coming on platform?

Santa Banta jokes in Hindi-Fire fighter

Santa: Yaar aaj pehli bar Maine accha kaam kya, jiss par logon NE mujhe bohat mara!

Banta: Who kya..

Santa: Ek makan mein aag lagi thi, aur andar kuch log thay, Maine window tori aur andar ja kar sab logon ko bahar nikal diya.

Banta: Toh logon NE kyun mara

Santa: Yaar, kyun ke who sab log fire fighter thay!

Short Santa Jokes - Pizza Hut

Q: Why did Santa take his pregnant wife Jaspreet to Pizza Hut?

A: Because they advertised: 'Free Delivery'

Indian Sardar Jokes - Train driving

One train which was going peacefully on the rail-tracks
suddenly deviated from the tracks and went to the fields nearby
and then came back on the tracks.

The passengers were horrified. On the next Railway station the
driver was caught : He was found to be a Sardar .

He was questioned . He explained that there
was a man standing on the tracks and he was not moving
from there even after lots of honks etc .

Then authorities questioned : Sardarji are you mad! just to
save life of one person you put life of so many passengers
under danger.You should have overran that person .

Sardar said : Exactly, that is what i also decided, but this idiot
started running towards the field when the train came very close.

Santa Doctor Jokes - Keys

Santa: I have swallowed a key.

Doctor: When?

Santa: 2 months back!

Doctor: What were you doing till now?

Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too.

Santa SMS joke - Titanic

Titanic was sinking.

An Englishman asked Santa, "How far is land"?

Santa: 2 kms.

Englishman jumped into sea.

Englishman : Now, which direction?

Santa: Downwards!

Sant Banta jokes-Same service

Santa : "When we were first married, I would come home from the office, Jasmeet would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking. Now after ten years it's all different, I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking."

Banta : "Why complain?, You're still getting the same service!"

Short Santa jokes-In Love

Doctor Santa falls in love with a Nurse.
He writes a love letter to the Nurse :-
I Love You sister….

Santa Banta jokes in Hindi-Bomb blast

Minister: Bomb blast mein halak honay walon ko 5 lakh or zakhmi kay liye 3 lakh denay ka elaan hai.

Santa: ...or awaz sun kay jiska gand phatt gaya, uska kiya???

Santa Banta jokes-Going to be a Father

Santa : "You looked troubled, what's your problem?"
Banta : "I'm going to be a father."
Santa : "But that's wonderful,"
Banta : "What's wonderful? My wife Preeto doesn't know about it yet.

Short Santa jokes-Fortune

Santa : "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?"
Jasmeet : "Honey, I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE"

Santa jokes-Divorce

Jasmeet : "Your honor, I want to divorce my husband Santa."
Judge : "But why ?"
Jasmeet : "Because he is not faithful to me."
Judge : "How do you know ?"
Jasmeet : "My lord, not a single child resembles him."

Santa Banta jokes-Fax

Banta : I was away for a week. Yesterday I sent a fax to my wife Preeto that I'd be home tonight, and when I got into my room I found Preeto in another man's arms.
Santa : kept silent for a few minutes, then coolly said, "Maybe, she didn't get the fax."

Santa Banta jokes-Suffer

From his death bed, Santa called his wife Jasmeet and said, "One month after I die I want you to marry Banta."
Jasmeet : "Banta ! But he is your enemy !"
Santa : "Yes, I know that ! I've suffered all these years so let him suffer now."

Santa Jokes - Abortion

Santa broke an egg to make omelet.

But the egg was empty !

Santa : "What kind of days have come ! Hen are doing abortion !"

Santa Banta jokes-Virgin rumor

Santa was curious, he asked his friend Banta:
"Was your wife a virgin when you married her?
Puzzled Banta replied"I really don't know. Some say yes. Some say no."

SMS Sardar jokes - No joke

Sardarji is irritated of Jokes made on him.

He goes to his wife and

said “Tell me one joke in which I am not involved”

Wife: "I am Pregnant"

SantaBanta Jokes -ATM

Santa and Banta went to bank ATM center for withdrawing cash.

Santa was drawing money from ATM,

Banta was behind him . He said, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen your password. Its 4 asterisks(****)."

Santa replied "Ha! Ha! Haaa! You are wrong, Its 1258"

Santa Jokes - Wife

Santa seated in car with his beautiful wife.

Driver set the mirror of car to look behind.

Santa got angry and told driver you are looking at my wife , sit behind , I will drive the car.

Above Santa joke in Hindi

Santa apni khoobsurat Bibi ke saath car mein baitha.
Driver ne sheesha set kiya.
Santa gusse mein bola, meri bibi ko dekhkta hai,
pichhe baith, car mein chalaoonga!

Santa banta jokes-Cool music

Santa : Why did the man put his radio in his refrigerator?
Banta : I give up.
Santa : Stupid, because he wanted to hear cool music

Santa Banta Jokes - Kiss

Santa Banta staying in nearby quarters met on one day morning.

Santa: I kiss my wife everyday morning before going to my office. How about you?

Banta: I kiss after you go to your office

Santa Banta Jokes in Hindi - Kutub Minar

Santa : Jab mai chhota tha tab kutub minar se gir gaya tha !

Banta : Bap re ! Fir tu jinda raha tha , ya mar gaya tha !

Santa : Yad nahi , mai bahot chhota tha na !

Short Santa Jokes - Sex

Santa to his son: I think it's right time we should talk about sex!

Pappu: Sure dad, what do u wanna know...?

Hindi Santa Banta Jokes - Yad

Santa bar me beth ke ro raha tha.

Bartender: Kyon ro rahe ho?

Santa: Or ki karan?

Santa : Main jis ladki ka nam bhulana chahata hun , uas ka nam yad hi nahin aa raha.

Short Santa banta jokes - Mistake

Santa was writing the passive voice of

' I made a mistake.'

He wrote: I was made by a mistake.

Santabanta jokes -Train

Banta slept on the railway track .

Some one told " If train comes you will get crushed "

Banta replied " When whole plane went from above nothing happened then what will

happen with a train ? "

Santa banta jokes-Same service

Santa : "When we were first married, I would come home from the office, Jasmeet would

bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking. Now after ten

years it's all different, I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs

around barking."

Banta : "Why complain?, You're still getting the same service!"

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