Banta ki jalebi

Santa to Banta halwaai: Kitne saal se jalebi bana raha hai bhai?

Banta halwai: 14 saal se. Kyon?

Santa: Itne saal ho gaye tujhe, aur ab tak jalebi seedhi banani nahi seekha???

Simple solution

Santa aur Banta ladkiyaan chhed rahe the.

Do ladkiyon ne pareshaan hoke Santa aur Banta ke haath mein rakhi baandh di and unko kaha : Ab aap kya karoge?

Santa ne Banta se kaha: Banta, tu meri behen se shaadi kar le, main teri behen se karta hoon!

In the bar

Santa to Banta :Yaar meri biwi ne mera mazaak banwa diya.

Banta : Kya hua

Santa : Hum log bar gaye the. Main baathroom gaya to Preeto bar tender ke saamne stool par baith gayi.
Uske left waale bande ne baar waale se kaha, "Jack Daniels, single."
Uske right wale bande ne baar waale se kaha, "Johnny Walker, single"
To Preeto bol padi, "Preeto Kaur, married!"




 

Saas

Santa was practicing yoga.

Banta asked,"Arre ye kya kar raha hai?"

Santa said, "Yog ka abhyas kar raha hoon. Baba Ramdev ji kehte hain ke fit rehna hai to saas par control karo."

Banta commented, "Arre yaar, yahaan gharwali control nahi hoti, saas pe kya khaak control karenge!"

Dukhi GF

Santa ki gf Pinky badi dukhi lag rahi thi.

Santa ne poocha, "Kya hua darling?"

Pinky ne kaha, "Mere Dad ne mere liye ladka pasand kiya hai. Bahut jaldi main kissi aur ki ho jaoongi."

Santa excite ho ke bola, "Wah, iska matlab hum bina condom ke bhi sex kar sakte hain!"

Badle hue

Santa aur uski wife Preeto Shimla ghoomne jaa rahe the. Raaste mein unka accident ho jaata hai aur dono ki death ho jaati hai.

Santa ghost ban jaata hai aur Preeto dayan.

Woh log jab milte hain, to Preeto pyar se bolti hai, "Kitne badle hue lag rahe hain jee aap ghost ban kar."

Santa jawab deta hai, "Par tum bilkul nahi badli!"

Behoshi ki dawa

Shop pe Ladki ne 34D ki Bra li aur trial room me t-shirt utaar ke dukandar Santa ko andar bulaya.

Santa ne uske breasts dekh ke chusna shuru kar diye jin pe behoshi ki dawa lagi hui thi, aue wo behosh ho gaya.

Ladki ne shop ka tamam Cash liya & jate hue shishe pe likh gai: Khula Dudh Sehat ke lie Hanikarak Hai !

Romantic Santa

Santa : Can I touch your breasts?

GF Chandni : Shut up!

Santa : can i touch your heartbeats?

GF Chandni : ooooh!! tum kitne romantic ho!

Rishta wahi soch nayee!

Panga mat lo

Ladki dukandar Santa se: Condoms ka pack dena.

Santa Shopkeeper taunt maarta hai: Kis liye behenji?

Ladki gusse mein kehti hai: Tere baap ko gift karungi, taki tere jaisa dusra chut*ya paida na kare.

Betuka sawaal

Santa: Agar Sunny Leone Mughal-E-Azam mein Madhubala ki jagah hoti, to uska kya naam hota?

Banta: Kya betuka sawaal hai? Tu hi bata kya hota?

Santa: Muh-mein-le-Azam

Short Santa jokes-Dhamki

Santa Police station ja kar kahta hai: Mujhe phone par jaan se marne ki dhamki mil rhi hai!
 
Inspector: Kaun dhamka raha hai?

Santa:- MTNL waale, kehte hain ki bill nahi bhara to kaat denge.

Santa ki beri

Santa ki beti ne kaha, "Papa, kal aapke ghar se ek member kam ho jaega."

Agle din, Santa ki beti bhag jati hai.

Santa ne apni wife se kaha, "Ladki ne kaam to galat kiya, par thi woh jyotish."

Chaand

Public toilet me likha tha "Duniya chand pe pahuch gayi aur tu yahi baitha hai" 

Santa niche likh ke aaya "Bas dho ke jaa raha hu".

Santa ke ghar chor

Santa ke ghar chor aa gaya. Santa ne dekh liya, to chor bhaga. Santa uske piche bhaga aur bhagte bhagte chor se bhi aage nikal gaya or bola, "Ek to chori upar se humse race."

Gali ka kutta

Santa ne apni car ke niche gali ke kutte ko leta hua dekha to kutte ko bahar kheechte hue bola: "Bahar nikal, bada aaya mechanical engineer banne."

Jaan pehchaan

Santa ne ek raah chalti ajnabi ladki se kaha, "Aapne mujhe pehchana?"

Ladki ne kaha, "Nahi to.Aap kaun hain?"

Santa ne kaha, "Main wahi hu jisko aapne kal bhi nahi pehchana tha."

Ghazal

Jagjit Singh ji ne gaana gaya, "Yeh daulat bhi le lo, yeh shaurat bhi le lo..."

Santa utth kar bola, "Main bahut pareshan hoon, meri aurat bhi le lo!"

Santa Banta joke-Sacha deshpremi

Santa : Sacha deshpremi kaun hai?

Banta : The one sitting on Western toilet in "Indian style".

Santa and Banta jokes in Hindi-Hitler

Banta to Santa : Do you know Hitler said "There is no word like IMPOSSIBLE in my dictionary".

Santa: Ab bolne se kya faydah? Jab kharidi thi tabhi check karna tha na.

Santa and Banta jokes in Hindi-Chess

Santa: Chalo chess khelte hain.

Banta: Tum chalo, main sports shoes pehen ke aata hoon.