Saturday, April 27, 2013

The only way

Santa’s little kid slept till late and as a result, missed his school bus.  Though, he himself was late, Santa decided to drive the kid to his school and then go to his own office. The kid guided Santa to take the first right, a little distance away to left, stop for a minute near a house, go straight and to left again, making Santa stop for a minute at several houses. This went on for forty five minutes and finally they reached the school. Santa instantly realized that the school was actually a mere ten minutes from his house.

Santa scolded his son: “You know I am late for my office and you made me drive round and round for forty five minutes, not to mention stopping me at several places without reason?”

Son: “Dad, this is the route my bus takes and this is the only way I know how to reach my school.”

Friday, April 26, 2013

Sardar jokes-Kaun sa station?

Ek lady train se utri, usne ek sardar se poocha : ye kaun sa station hai?

Sardar ne socha… socha… socha… socha… socha, phir bola: “Behenji ye Railway Station hai”

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Romantic Santa

Santa: Jaaneman, tumhaara naam hath pe likhu ke dil pe?

Girlfriend: Idhar udhar kahan likhte ho? Agar sacha pyar karte ho to seedhe apne property ke paper pe likho.

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Santa Banta joke-Sacha deshpremi

Santa : Sacha deshpremi kaun hai?

Banta : The one sitting on Western toilet in "Indian style".

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Santa and Banta jokes in Hindi-Hitler

Banta to Santa : Do you know Hitler said "There is no word like IMPOSSIBLE in my dictionary".
Santa: Ab bolne se kya faydah? Jab kharidi thi tabhi check karna tha na.

Monday, April 22, 2013

Santa in accident

After an accident, a very angry driver caught Santa by the collar and said, "I showed you the headlights
and told you to go by side. Why didn't you pay attention?"

Santa replied, "I also started the wipers and said No, no, no...."

Sunday, April 21, 2013

Santa's phone call

Santa dials a number, and a girl answers the phone.

Santa : Hello, kaun?

Girl : Main Seeta.

Santa: O teri!! Yeh to Ayodhya phone lag gaya....sorry Maate!

Saturday, April 20, 2013

Short Santa jokes-Xerox

What did Santa do after taking a xerox.

He compared it with the original for spelling mistakes!

Friday, April 19, 2013

Santa Banta joke-Physics exams

A frustrated Santa, who had to study for Physics exams,  says to Banta: Physics would have been much easier if....the Tree itself had fallen on Newton’s head instead of the Apple!

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Short Santa jokes-Mahatma Gandhi

Teacher: Who was Mahatma Gandhi?

Santa: He was the one who helped Munna Bhai in impressing his girlfriend!

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Santa's order in court

SANTA went to court

JUDGE:"Order ! Order !"

SANTA: "1 Pizza, 2 Dosa, 3 Idli & 1 Cold-drink !"

JUDGE: "Shut Up !"

SANTA: "No, no..7-Up!

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Short Santa jokes-Chashma

Santa: Doctor saab, main Chashma laga ke padh to sakoonga na?

Doctor: Haan, bilkul.

Santa: To phir theek hai doctor saab, varna anpadh aadmi ki zindagi bhi koi zindagi hai.

Monday, April 15, 2013

Short Santa jokes in Hindi-Nakli note

Santa bank mein 500 ka note deposit karne gaya.

Cashier ne kaha: Ye note to nakli hai.

Santa: Tujhe kya takleef hai bhai? Mere account mein jayega ya tere?

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Short Santa jokes-Falling in love

Santa apni girl friend ko ‘I Love you’ bolte bolte girr jata hai.

GF: Yeh kya kar rahe ho?

Santa: Just falling in love.

Saturday, April 13, 2013

Short Santa jokes-Broken statue

Santa breaks a statue in a museum and the security guard shouts at him, "That’s a 5000-year-old statue that you have broken."

Santa relies with relief, "Thank God! I thought it was a new one."

Friday, April 12, 2013

Santa and Banta jokes in Hindi-Chess

Santa: Chalo chess khelte hain.

Banta: Tum chalo, main sports shoes pehen ke aata hoon.

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Santa Banta sms in Hindi-Bhootni

Santa: Kal raat maon film dekh raha tha. Usme ek bhootni kabhi mere aage, khabhi mere peechhe ghoom rahi thi…

Banta: Kaun si film thi?


Santa: Meri shaadi ki movie thi!

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Santa and Banta jokes in Hindi-Infection

Banta: Yeh chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho?

Santa: Suicide karne ke liye.

Banta: To phir ubalne ki kya zaroorat hai?

Santa: Kahin infection na ho jaaye
.

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Santa and doctor

Santa: Doctor, ye phoolon ki mala kiske liye hai?

Doctor: Yeh mera pehla operation hai, successful hua to mere liye, nahi to tumhare liye.

Monday, April 8, 2013

Santa's nasha

Santa comes home completely drunk and asks his wife: Who are you?

Wife: How dare you forget your wife?

Santa: Nasha har gham ko bhula deta hai!!

Sunday, April 7, 2013

Short Santa jokes-Kitne ki daloon

Petrol pump mein attendant poochta hai : kitne ki daloon sir?

Santa (petrol ke badhte prices se pareshaan): 50 ml gaadi pe spray kar de bhai...aag lagaani hai!

Saturday, April 6, 2013

Short Santa sms jokes-Lays

Santa writes a letter to manufacturers of Lays chips:
Dear Manufacturers, u 4got 2 mention one thing in your ingredients - 75% Air !!!

Friday, April 5, 2013

Santa at Petrol pump

Customer at Petrol Pump: Full tank kar do.

Attendant Santa : Sir, PAN Card ki copy do...


Customer But why?


Attendant Santa: Sir, it’s a HIGH VALUE TRANSACTION !!!

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Short Santa jokes-NASA

Santa : I am going to join NASA.

Banta : Don't do that!

Santa : Why?

Banta : Because they will have to change their name to SARVANASA.

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Santa ki dukh bhari dastaan

Santa apni dukh bhari dastaan Banta ko shayaari mein sunaata hai:

Izhar-E-Mohbat na wo kar sake na Hum,

Zamane se na wo Lad sake na Hum,

Hum to kar dete unko Pregnant, par,

Room ka jugad na wo kar sake na Hum.

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Short Santa jokes-Ullu pati

Santa ki biwi Santa se: Sab pati ullu hote hain!!

Santa : Woh kyon?

Santa ki biwi: Unko biwi ki saari khubiyaan raat mein hi dikhti hain.

Monday, April 1, 2013

Short Santa jokes-Heads and tails

Santa grabbed a coin, flipped it in the air & said, “Heads, I go to sleep. Tails, I watch a movie. If it stands on the edge I’ll study."