Santa Banta jokes-Movie Robot

Santa : What did you learn from Rajnikant's movie Robot?

Banta : That we are going to be technologically superior that most nations in the future.

Santa : No, we learn that a girl can not only spoil a man, but also machines!

Santa Banta sms jokes-Most dangerous alphabet

Santa : Do you know the most dangerous alphabet/

Banta : Which one?

Santa : It is "W"

Banta : Why?

Santa: b'coz all worries start with "W"
Who?
Why?
What?
When?
Which?
Whom?
Where?
Ware!
And finally
WIFE….!

Santa Banta jokes-Physics

Frustrated Santa says to his classmate Banta, "Physics would have been much easier if the Tree itself had fallen on Newton’s Head Instead of the Apple."

Santa Banta sms in Hindi-Antar

Santa : GF aur biwi mein kya antar hai?
Banta : 20 kilo ka.

Banta : BF aur husband mein kya antar hai?
Santa : 40 minute ka.

Santa and Banta jokes in Hindi-Anda aur dudh

Santa : Murgi anda deti hai, aur gaai dudh deti hai, to aisa kaun hai jo dudh bhi deta hai, aur anda bhi deta hai?

Banta : Dukandar.

Santa Banta sms in Hindi-Famous Indians

Santa : Tell me the similarity between "GANDHIJI" , "SALMAN" & "MALLIKA"?

Banta : Teeno famous hain.

Santa : Woh to hai. Uske alawa, teeno ne kapdo ka tyag kiya.
Ek ne "DESH" ke liye,
Dusre ne "AISH" ke liye, aur
Tisri ne "CASH " Ke liye!!!

Short Santa jokes-Java

Santa computer company me interview dene gaya.

Boss- Java ke 4 version batao.

Santa- Mar java, Mitt java, Loot java or Sadke java!!

Short Santa jokes-Gusse ki maar

Santa ko ladki ne chappal maara..!

Santa : Tumne yeh chappal gussey se maara ya mazaaq se?

Ladki : Gussey se!

Santa : To phir thik hai... warna main aisa mazaaq bardasht nahi karta!!

Short Santa jokes-Honest answer

Santa to his servant: “What will you do with a 100 rupee note lying on the floor? Will you keep it?”

Servant: “No , Of course not.”

Santa: “Then what will you do with it?”

Servant: “I will spend it.”

Santa Banta joke-Call girlfriend

Santa: Can I use your phone to call my girlfriend?

Banta: Ya sure, just redial!

Santa Banta joke-Brand new car

Banta's boss Santa came to work in his brand new Mercedes.

Admiring it, Banta said, "Nice car, sir."

"Well" said his boss Santa, "Work hard, put the hours in, and I'll have an even better one next year."

Short Santa jokes-Movie

Santa went to see a movie with 18 of his friends. The security guy asked him the reason for a such a b group of 19 people. Santa said, "You have only printed outside, 18 + only!"

Santa ki GF-Tauba tauba

Santa: Main tumhe kab call kar sakta hoon?
GF: Jab tum chaho tab :)
Santa: Lekin kal maine call kiya tha
GF: Subah itni jaldi to main uthti nahi
Santa: Kal 11 baje karu kya call?
GF: Nahi tab to papa ghar pe honge
Santa: To 2 baje karu?
GF: Nahi tab to lunch time hoga na
Santa: To 6 baje karu?
GF: Lekin tab to main apna favourite serial dekhti hoon
Santa: To fir raat ko karoonga
GF- Lekin tab tak to vapas ghar ajaenge sab
Santa: To main kab call karu???
GF: Jab tum chaho tab!

Santa ke PJs

Santa ke PJs

Mountain dew peene se udjata hai fear,
Basically ur concepts r not clear…

Dost ne pucha exam me “5th ans batao ” ,
Maine kaha “Melody khao khud jaan jao ” …

Palm ke pyar me pagal ho gaya Peter,
Ab Hero Honda Splendor 80km per litre.

Aatma chod gayi jism puraana,
Didi tera devar diwana…

Blood donate karne k pehle hamesha group janchna,
Basanti in kutto ke samne mat nachna….

Santa Banta joke-7th sense

Santa: All human beings have 5 senses.

Banta: I know. There are also cases of people who have 6th sense.

Santa: But you are the Gifted one. Only you have a 7th sense. It is "NON-SENSE"

Santa and Banta jokes in Hindi-Husband aur Gadha

Santa : Husband aur gadhe mein kya farak hai?

Banta: Husband gadha ban sakta hai, par Gadha itna bhi gadha nahi hota ki husband ban jaye.

Truck driver Santa

Petrol pump se 20 km door ek Army truck ka diesel khatam ho gaya. Truck mein Major baitha tha, aur Santa driver tha.

Santa ne Major ko bataya ke Petrol pump tak dhakka lagaana parega.

Sab neeche utre aur dhakka maarna shuru kiya. Kaafi der baad jab Petrol pump par pahunch gaye, kuch jawan thak ke behosh ho gaye.

Santa ne diesel dalwana shuru kiya, to Major ne kaha ke peechhe jo drum hai uss mein bhi dalwa lo.

Santa: bola: Sir, Woh to full hai. Emergency ke liye rakha hua hai!

Santa Banta sms in Hindi-Salad

Santa aur Banta ek shaadi mein gaye. Jab Khaane ke hall mein enter hue to Salad dekh ke hi bahar aa gaye. Bahar aake ek saath bole, "Kya yaar, abhi to sirf sabzi hi kati hai!"

Santa Banta joke-Rat and Bat

Santa telling a joke to Banta: A rat and a bat had a one night stand. Both of them forgot about it. What would you call it?

Banta : Fails me!

Santa : Rat gayi bat gayi

Santa Banta sms jokes-Avengers sequel

Santa : The Avengers sequel should be dedicated to the police in Hindi movies who always arrive late and pick up the pieces.

Banta : Why?

Santa : They can call it Scavengers.

Short Santa jokes-National fruit

An American asked Santa, "What is the national fruit of your country ?"

Santa replied, "It is mango, but actually, it should be Chut*ya Banana"...

Santa's letter to his Father-in-law

Santa's letter to his Father-in-law

Dear Father-In-Law,

Deeply Regret taking a Car in Dowry,

Plz Take Your Daughter or Car Back.

Can't Afford Both!

Regards

Santa

Santa Banta joke-Viagra in Petrol tank

Santa and Banta are discussing their sex life.

Santa : Put a Viagra pill in your Petrol tank.

Banta : Why?

Santa : At least the petrol indicator will stay up!

Santa's message

Santa's message to the world:

Fida hoon uski chaal pe,
Uske bolne ki taal pe,
Chahe tamacha lagay gaal pe,
lekin
Bol deta hoon sare jahan se..
Nazar mat daalna mere maal pe.

Santa in red light area

Santa went to a red light area and met a pimp lurking near a lamp post. Santa asked about availability of a girl and her rate.

Pimp: “A beautiful girl sir….You will like her….She takes five hundred per hour, I take a hundred and that policeman over there will take 50.”

Santa : “Send that policeman to me….cheap and best.”

Short Santa jokes-Pehlay paise

Sant awas sitting with his wife in a park, when a woman approaches them and says to his wife: "Paise pehlay lay lena, ye kameena bohat dhokey baaz hai…"

Santa Banta sms in Hindi-Shaadi shuda

Santa: Tum office mein Shaadi shuda admiyon ko hi kyon rakhte ho?

Banta: Kyonki unhe beizzati sehne ki aadat hoti hai aur ghar jaane ki jaldi bhi nahi hoti.

Short Santa jokes-Girl in train

Ladki Express train mein Santa se poochti hai: Kya main yahaan baith sakti hoon.

Santa: Zaroor!

Girl: Thank you!

Santa: Most welcome!

Girl: Paani ki bottle paas karenge please?

Santa: Lijiye.

Girl: Bhaiya agla station kaun sa hai?

Santa : Mere baap ne mere dimag me koi GPS fit nahi kiya hai, jaldi seat khali ker mujhe neend aa rahi hai.

Sardar jokes-On their backs

Do you know why Sardars make love on their backs?

They are habituated of screwing up.

Santa's repentant wife

One day Santa returned home from office and found his wife in highly emotional state. The moment she saw Santa, she cried: “I am so sorry dear, really sorry.”

Santa (alarmed): “OK OK. Calm down. Now tell me what’s wrong.”

Wife: “There was this beggar who came here immediately after you left for office. He was hungry and asked for some food. I gave him plenty to eat and he went away blessing me. This afternoon the beggar returned and gifted me a book “How to cook.” And to think you have been eating the same food all these years.”

The Rocket launch

NASA was getting ready to launch a very important space shuttle. The scientists and engineers checked and double checked everything to make sure that things are fine. However, on the day of the launch, something seemed to go wrong. The rocket made all sorts of noise but never took off even an inch from the ground. The engineers were puzzled because they could not figure out the problem.

Finally, Santa Singh offered to help. The NASA scientists were desperate by that time and agreed to do anything.

'Tilt the rocket 45 degrees to the right,' said Santa in a serious voice. The engineers were puzzled but did it anyway.

'Bring it back to vertical position', Santa added. The engineers did as instructed.

'Now start the engines,' said Santa. The rocket took off and flew into space. Everybody thanked and congratulated Santa and asked him how he knew what to do.

He replied, 'It is very simple. This is what we always do with our Bajaj scooters in India.'