Santa and Banta jokes in Hindi-Dosti

Santa Banta samundar mein naha rahe the.

Santa achanak doobne laga, jaldi me usne banta ka p*nis pakar liya aur bach gaya.

Banta bola dekhi dosti aaj agar larki ke saath hota to doob jata.

Short Santa jokes-Phaasi

Police: Tumhe kal subah 5 baje phaasi di jayegi.

Santa: Ha Ha Ha Ha!

Police: Kyon hasn rahe ho?

Santa: Main to uthta hi subha 9 baje hun.

Short Santa jokes-Mistake

Santa was writing the Passive voice of 'I MADE A MISTAKE'

Answer : 'I WAS MADE BY A MISTAKE'

Short Santa jokes-MS Office

Santar went for an interview in a Software Company.

Interviewer : Do you know MS Office?

Santa : If you give me address I can find it!

Santa Banta sms jokes-Bus

Santa : How would you convert a Bus into a female?

Banta: How is that???

Santa: Late aaoge to Bus MISS ho jayegi!!

Short Santa jokes-Dress code

The Dress Code for a party was - BLACK TIES ONLY.

Santa goes to the party & is surprised to find that the other guests are wearing SUITS also.

Santa watching Tyson match

Santa and his wife were witnessing a mike Tyson bout on TV. The match was soon over as Tyson floored his opponent in a jiffy.

Santa: “It was over in under a couple of minutes. Couldn’t enjoy it.”

Wife: “Now you realize how I feel in the bed?”

Santa on Safari

Santa took his wife and his mother-in-law on a jungle safari. Suddenly he noticed that only his wife was with him. His mother-in-law was nowhere in sight. They returned the path they had taken looking for her when they found his mother-in-law facing a tiger at some distance. Both were looking ferociously at each other.

Santa’s wife screamed at him: “Well, do something, will you?”

Santa: “What can I do? Now that the tiger has invited trouble for himself, let him suffer.”

Kuch meetha ho jaye

Santa ki biwi: Main suicide kar loongi.

Santa (giving her a Dairy Milk): To ye lo.

Biwi :Kyon??

Santa: Mummy kehti hai, koi shubh kaam karne se pehle meetha kha lena chahiye!

Short Santa jokes-Bait

Santa's Wife: “Before our marriage you used to give me gifts every now and then, what happened now?”

Santa: “The fish has taken the bait, what now?”

Santa ki biwi

Santa poori raat apni biwi ke satth sex karta hai.

Thaki hui biwii Hakim ke paas jake boli, "Mere pati ko sex ki goli tumne di thi?"

Hakim: "Haan"

Santa ki biwi, " Toh phir kamine, biwi bhi apni deni thi na."

Santa Banta joke-Understanding

Banta Singh had married recently and yet he remained in office till late and was never in a hurry to go home to his new bride. His colleague, Santa asked: “Is everything all right between you and your wife?”

Banta Singh: “Splendid, why?”

Santa: “You never seem eager to go home.”

Banta Singh: “Oh, it is like this. My wife is also working. There is an understanding between us that whoever reaches home first, cooks.”

Santa's Mother-in-law

Scared of his boss, Santa approached him slowly and asked: “Sir, my mother-in-law is coming to stay with us. I want a week’s leave.”

Boss (angry): “What, leave again? As it is this is year end. Forget leave, I want you to work overtime till those who are on leave join back.”

Santa: “Thank you sir, I was sure you will come to my rescue and bail me out.”

Santa Banta joke-Married

Soldier Santa: “Why did you join the army?”

Soldier Banta: “Because I am not married. But why did you?”

Soldier Santa: “Because I am.”

Santa Banta sms jokes-Top to bottom

What is the similarity between a girl and a SMS?

We don’t rest till we look at them from top to bottom.

Santa's KLPD

Santa (tall and very thin) was standing at the bus stop. Suddenly a car stops and a beautiful girl waves to him and calls him. Santa was initially surprised but recognizes her. She was Jasmine, his old batch mate. He was wondering why she was calling him because she never ever gave him importance in college. Anyway, he sat in the car and Jasmine gave him a warm welcome. Then Jasmine offered to have coffee with him, which surprised Santa all the more. Again he thought, 'Coffee with Jasmine!! ( the old dream)' and gave his consent.

Then Jasmine changed her mind and said, "Let's go to my house....there are a lot of people in the cafe ..."
Now Santa thought, "Aab to mazaa aa jaaye ga".
When they reached Jasmine's house she said to Santa, "Why don't we sit in my bed room? We only have AC in there".
Now Santa starts dreaming about her in bed with him.
Jasmine then asked Santa, "Why don't you take off your shirt? You are sweating".
Santa starts dreaming again about her in the bed and Jasmine asks him to make himself comfortable.
"I will back in a minute", she says, and left Santa alone in the room, thinking about Jasmine's sexy body.

Then after five minutes, Jasmine enters the room with 2 children and says
"Deko bachon! Agar horlicks nahin piyoge to body iske jaisi ho jayegi".

Santa Banta sms jokes-Unhappy wife

Santa: “Banta, my wife is not happy even though I gifted her gold necklace on her birthday.”

Banta: “Ask her what she wants.”

Santa: “She wants a car, my friend. Now tell me how and where I can get an imitation car.”

Short Santa jokes-Like wife

Once, Santa was traveling in a plane. When the air hostess came to him to inquire if he wanted anything, Santa caught her hand excitedly and told her: “You look just like my wife.” The air hostess gave him a slap in reply.

Santa caressed his cheek and said: “My goodness, your hand is also just as heavy.”

Santa Banta joke-Lost teeth

Santa reaches home very late one night after painting the town red with his friends. Next day his friend Banta asked if his wife was angry with him.

Santa: “Absolutely no problem. As it is, I was to have my front two teeth taken out.”

Short Santa jokes-Green dot

Teacher- What is the meaning of Green dot on the packet of Kurkure?

Santa- Mam, it means Kurkure is now online...

Short Santa jokes-Shopping

Girlfriend to Santa : I m not feeling well today.

Santa : Oh! That's too bad, i was thinking of taking you out for shopping today.

Girlfriend : I was just joking!

Santa : Me too!

Santa Banta sms jokes-Caring wife

Santa: “You know Banta I never imagined my wife cares so much for me.”

Banta: “Why, what happened?”

Santa: “Well, I had to take sick leave suddenly. Whenever a salesman came to the door, she shouted: ‘My husband is at home.Don’t bother me.'”

Santa Banta joke-Killing flies

Santa: “What are you doing?”
Banta: “Killing flies.”
Santa: “Wow. How many did you kill?”
Banta: “Five, three males and two females.”
Santa: “How did you differentiate?”
Banta: “Three flies were sitting on the rum bottle. I tried to shoo them away but they could not fly. Two were on telephone receiver. They could fly but they didn’t want to.”

Santa and Banta jokes in Hindi-Jawan

Santa: Meri biwi jawan hai.

Banta: Toh border pe bhej de na.

Santa jokes-Days with R

Santa just got married could not control sexual activities which was going day in and day out. Finally suffering physical exhaustion and sickness, he went to the Doctor who advised them to have sex only on the days with 'R' in it.

The Doctor meant:
ThuRsday,
FRiday and/or
SatuRday.

So Santa went home and asked his wife "Darling what day is it?"

His wife said in Hindi : SomvaaR (Monday)

Santa said "Oh let's not miss this day with "R" and have it."

His wife agreed and jumped at this with pleasure."

Every day Santa would ask the same question and his wife would say:

MangalvaaR (Tuesday)

BudhvaaR (Wednesday)

GuruvaaR (Thursday)

ShukravaaR (Friday)

ShanivvaR (Saturday)

RavivaaR (Sunday)

Sardar jokes-Drinking water

Once Sardarji..was drinking water......then..
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arrey ab kya ek sardar chain se paani bhi nahi pee sakta ??? iss mein bhi joke chahiye tumhe???

Santa Banta sms in Hindi-Kuch lete kyon nahi?

Santa ko AIDS ho gaya.

Banta ne uski haalat dekh ke poocha, arre kuch lete kyon nahi?

Santa : Abe aur kitni loon, le le ke toh ye haal hua hai!

Santa and Banta jokes in Hindi-Situation

Santa: Aisi kaun si situation hai jisme mard 10 minutes mein thak jaata hai aur aurat chahati hai ki wo karta rahe...

Banta : You are being naughty....

Santa : Arre, tere dimaag mein kachra hai...the answer is "shopping"

Professor Santa's students

Once, many professors were asked to sit in an airplane. After they sat, they were informed that the plane was built by their students.

What followed was a mad rush to get out of the plane, as all of them ran out except for Professor Santa. When people asked him the reason, he said, "If it is made by my students, I am sure it will not even start."

Santa Banta joke-Rough draft

Santa: “You know, God must have made a woman first. But when He was not satisfied with the result, He made a man afterwards.”

Banta: “You must be right. It is a common practice to make a rough draft before making the final copy.

Santa Banta sms jokes-Vegetables

Santa was waiting patiently while Banta, the vegetable vendor was sprinkling water on his ware to make them look fresh.

Finally Santa could not contain himself any longer: “Banta, if your vegetables have come out of their coma, please let me have some.”