Santa Banta sms jokes-Share

Santa said to Banta: “I want to share my joy with you. I have just won 1000 rupees at a lottery.”

Banta: “OK, give me half the sum and I will share your joy.”

Short Santa jokes-Kutub minar

Teacher: Delhi mein Kutub minar hai.

Santa was sleeping and teacher wakes him up.

Teacher: What did I say?

Santa replies: Delhi mein kutta bimar hai...

Santa Banta joke-Lift an elephant

Santa: How can you lift an elephant with one hand?

Banta: You will never find an elephant that has only one hand.

Short Santa jokes-Andha pyar

Santa honeymoon ke liye Shimla ke saste hotel mein gaya.

Uss Hotel ne hidayat darj ki:

'Khirki par perhdey daal dijiye,
aapka Pyaar andha ho sakta hai, magar hamara staff nahi.'

Short Santa jokes-Kaan

Girl: Jab hum larkiyan gandi baaten karti hain to tum larkon ke kaan kyon kharre ho jate hain?

Santa: Chal Pagali. Usay kaan nahi kehtay...!

Santa Banta sms in Hindi-Financial Times

Santa was Reading Financial Times & told Banta, "Microsoft Buys Yahoo Messenger for $8.5 billion."

Banta- "O Teri!! Kharida Kyun, Download Kar Leta pagle".

Santa ki shaayari-Kolaveri di

Santa ki shayaari:

Ussne jab toda mera dil

To Maine khoob sharaab pee

Nashe mein usey phone kia aur bola - Why this Kolaveri kolaveri kolaveri di?

Short Santa jokes-Keyboard alphabets

Santa joined a new job. On 1st day he worked till late evening.

Boss asked : What you did till evening?

Santa replied : Keyboard alphabets were not in order. So I made it all right.

Santa Banta sms jokes-Live longer

Santa: Why do women live longer than men?

Banta: Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!

Santa and Banta jokes in Hindi- Baapu kee dhoti

Once upon a time. There was just one cinema theatre in the Village. In fact as a Cinema screen, the owners of the theatre, Santa and Banta, had installed a khaadi dhoti. The villagers were very happy with the idea of a Khaadi Dhoti screen. They decided to dedicate the theatre to Bapuji, and named the theatre: "BAPU KEE DHOTI"

Santa and Banta advertised some of the Up coming films at "BAPU KEE DHOTI" cinema hall in the local Newspaper as follows:

Bapu kee Dhoti mein 'HULCHUL'.

Bapu kee Dhoti mein 'Daraar'.

Bapu kee Dhoti mein 'Chuppa Rustom'

Bapu kee Dhoti mein 'Garam Hawaa'

Bapu kee Dhoti mein 'Kuchh Kuchh hota hai'.

Bapu kee Dhoti mein 'Josh'..

Bapu kee Dhoti mein 'Mere Do Anmol Ratan' .

Bapu kee Dhoti mein 'Judwaa '.

Bapu kee Dhoti mein 'Tera Jadoo Chal Gaaya'.

Bapu kee Dhoti mein 'HeraPheri'.

Bapu kee Dhoti mein 'Kaante '

Bapu kee Dhoti mein 'Kucch to hai'..

Santa Banta sms in Hindi-Chaand

Santa to Banta:

Tu apni gf ko chaand samajhta hai, kripya dhyan rakhna ki ..

Chand par tujhse pehle 17 log chad chuke hai, ek kutta bhi tha.

Short Santa jokes-Jackie Chan's wife

Jackie Chan's wife dies after 1 year of marriage.

Santa tries to console Jackie but not sure what to say, suddenly blurts, "Jaane de na yaar... Chinese thi, aur kitna chalegi??"

Short Santa jokes-Confusion

Girl's smile creates greatest confusion in Santa's mind.

Ghanto tak samajh hi nahi aata - Ki hass ke dekh rahi hai...Ya dekh ke hass rahi hai?

Santa and Banta jokes in Hindi- Sukh aur Shanti

Santa in a philosophical mood says to Banta: "Sukh toh tumne jitna punya kiya hoga, utna hi milega."

Banta adds: "Lekin Shanti Gharwali ki iccha hogi, utni hi milegi."

Santa Banta sms jokes-River Ravi

Santa: River Ravi flows in which state?

Banta: Liquid.

Short Santa jokes-Hot tempered

Santa and Preeto got married a month back. By this time Preeto had found out that Santa was a bit hot tempered. One late evening when both of them were in a real romantic mood, Preeto whispered in Santa's ears: “if I tell you some little secret, promise me that you won’t get angry.”

Santa, a little tipsy and quite in the mood replied: “Go ahead darling, I promise.”

Preeto: “I am pregnant.”

Santa: “Why, that’s good news. What is there to be angry about?”

Preeto: “I don’t know. When I told my father about this a month back he beat me black and blue.”

Sardar jokes-Train episode

One fine day a Parsi Bawaji (gentleman) boarded a train for Surat. There was very little rush in the train and so our Bawaji managed to get a seat near window. But the window was jammed. Our frail Bawaji tried his best to open it but could not. A Sardarji who was watching frail Bawaji’s struggle, took pity on him and opened the window in one go, then said: “Oye, Paronthe kha, taakat aayegi.”

After a while Bawaji got the call of nature. He went to the toilet but to his utter dismay here too the door was slammed shut. This time too, the Sardaji came to his rescue and opened the door for him with the same comment: “Oye Pape, Paronthe kha Paronthe, te taakat aayegi.”

Bawaji could not take it anymore. He went to the emergency chain pull, and made a show of pulling the chain. The kind Sadarji once again came to his help and pulled chain: “Main kya Bawaji, tusi………”

The train grinded to a halt and the TC and the guard came to check who had pulled the chain. Bawaji pointed to Sardarji who had to pay a hefty fine. Now it was Bawaji’s turn: “Ee mara dikra, Dhanshak kha dhanshak, thodi akkal avse.”

Santa Banta sms in Hindi-Agar meri nahi hui

Santa said to Banta : Agar wo meri nahi huyi toh mey use kisi aur ki bhi nahi hone dunga!!

Banta replied : Toh iska matlab hai ki agar wo teri ho gayi toh sabki hone dega na?

Santa and Banta jokes in Hindi- Career Songs

Santa to Banta : Do you know the 8 songs that define your career?

Banta : I can guess

Santa: Well, I will begin. The first one:

1. When in college: Hum honge kaamiyaab, Hum honge kaam iyaab ek din.....

2. When giving interview to Multi National Company: Tu hi re.. Too hi re ....tere binaaa main kaise jiyunn....

3. Waiting for interview result: Intehaa ho gai Intzaarki... Aayinaaa kuch khabar mere yaarki....

Banta:

4. Just joined: Too cheez badi hai mast mast.....

5. After some time: Ye kahaan AA gaye hum??

6. After some more time: Naa koyi umang hai, naa koyi tarang hai, meri jindagi ek kati Pathang hai (booohoooo)

Santa :

7. Floating the resume: kabootar ja ja ja... Kabootar ja ja ja... Pehele pyar ki peheli chitthi....

8. Finally when you don't get a better offer any longer: Jeena Yehaan, marna Yehaan iske siwa jaana kahaan....!!

Short Santa jokes-Intezar

Traffic Police: Aap 140 Ki Speed Se Q Ja Rahe Ho?

Santa : Ap logo Ne Hi to Side Wale Board Pe Likha He

"Yaad Rakhe Ghar Pe Koi Apka Intezar Kar Rha Hai..."

Short Santa jokes-Hurry Home

Santa living in Westmead, NSW (Australia) suffered a heart attack in front of the Pendle Hill Take-Away Restaurant on the road and was picked up by an ambulance.
He kept repeating - "Hari Om Hari Om Hari Om ".

When the ambulance pulled into his home , instead of the Westmead Hospital, his wife came out and screamed to the paramedics: 'Why didn't you take him straight to the hospital?'

They replied: Because he kept saying Hurry home, hurry home!

Short Santa jokes-Rate

Santa red light area gaya aur broker se rate puchha.

Broker: “1000 Rs. Larki Ke, 300 Rs. Merey, aur 100 Rs. Police Wale Ke”

Pathan: “Yara dil khush kar diya, jao pehle Police wale ko le aao“

Santa Banta sms in Hindi-Pitai

Santa Banta ki khub pitai huyi.

Par Q?

Qki Dono B'Day party mein muft ka khana khaate pakde gaye

Aur kehne lage: Hum ladki walo k taraf se hain.

Short Santa jokes-In reverse

Santa : Now I always watch my wedding video in reverse and I love the end when she takes the ring off, goes out, jumps in the car and heads back to her father's home.

Short Santa jokes-50 ka note

Train main Santa ka 50 rupee ka note kho gaya..

Tabhi aik Musalman musafir bola: Ya allah bismillah..

Santa: Abey tujhe 20 mila, toh baaki ka 30 kisko mila?

Santa Banta joke-Breakfast

Santa: What can you never eat for breakfast?

Banta: Lunch and Dinner.

Santa Banta sms jokes-Marriage and divorce

Santa: I got married because I was tired of cooking, cleaning and washing.

Banta: That's amazing! I got divorced for the same reason!

Short Santa jokes-English chalegi?

Santa ladki dekhne gaya.

Usne english me baat karne ka socha aur bola. "English chalegi na?"

Ladki sharmate hue boli. "Soda sath me ho to desi bhi chalegi."

Short Santa jokes-Konsi Company?

Girlto Shopkeeper Santa:Plz give me one Condom.

Shopkeeper Santa: Konsi Company Ka Behen ji?

Girl angrily: Any good company Jisse Teri Behen ki le li jaye aur Tu Mamu Bhi Na Bane.

Short Santa jokes-Do pahiyon ka farak

Police: Oye, car parking ki jagah bike kyu park ki hai?

Santa: just smiled and said "sirf do pahiyon ka farak hai UNCLE, aa jayenge!

Santa Banta joke-Inside

Santa : Why are you eating a banana with the skin on?

Banta: Oh, it's all right. I know what's inside.