Santa and Banta jokes in Hindi-Ek zamaana

Santa to his son: Ek zamaana tha jab main Rs. 10/- mein kirana, sabzi, doodh, nashta le aata tha.

Santa's son Banta: Ab aisa possible nahi papa kyunki sab jagah CCTV camera lage hote hain.

Short Santa jokes-Yawn

Santa's wife, Preeto was talking to her friend, Babli.

She said, "You know my husband has become so horny that I cannot even yawn in front of him!"

Short Santa jokes-Girlfriend's name on hand

Santa, in order to impress his girlfriend, took a knife and carved her name on his hand.

After a while, he started crying loudly.

His girlfriend asked sympathetically, "Is it paining too much?"

Santa replied, "No....Spelling mistake!!"

Santa's taunt

Santa apni wife ko kehta hai, "Darling, tum khoobsoorat hoti jaa rahi ho."

Wife kitchen se boli, "Tumne kaise jaana?"

Santa ne kaha, "Tumhe dekhkar rotiyaan bhi jalne lagi hain."

Santa Banta joke-Vacation planning

Santa: “Banta, this year too I am going on vacation. But please don’t bother to advice me where to go as you have been doing for the past three years. This year I am doing something different.”

Banta: “Why? What’s wrong with my suggestions?”

Santa: “Three years back you suggested I go to Nainital and my wife got pregnant. Two years back you suggested Darjeeling and my wife got pregnant again. Last year you said Agra and damn if she didn’t get pregnant again.”

Banta: “OK, fine, I won’t suggest anything. But tell me, what is it that you are going to do that is different?”

Santa: “This time I am taking my wife with me.”

Short Santa jokes-Doctor ki dawa

Santa bimaar tha. Uski Biwi use Doctor ke paas le ke gayee.

Doctor: Aapke husband ko aaram aur shanti ki zaroorat hai. Yeh kuch neend ki dawaiyaan hain.

Santa ki Biwi: Doctor saab, yeh dawaiyyan inko kab doon?

Doctor: Yeh aapke liya hain!

Santa ki naraaz biwi

Santa party se ghar late aaya.

Biwi: Tumhe kaisa lagega agar mujhe do dino tak nahee dekhoge?

Santa: Arre wah! Mazaa aa jayega!

Somwaar aaya....Santa ne biwi ko nahi dekha

Mangalwaar aaya....Santa ne biwi ko nahi dekha

Budhwaar bhi nikal gaya

Guruwaar ko jab aakh ki soojan kam hui....tab jaake Santa ne ek aankh ke kone se apni biwi ko dekha.

Santa Banta sms in Hindi-Lift mein Notice

Santa aur Banta Lift company mein kaam karte the.

Ek lift par Santa ne Notice layaga:
"Ladies ka khas khayal rakheN"

Aur us ke neeche Banta ne Notice lagaya:
"Ek baar me 6 se zyada Aadmi na chade"...

Short Santa jokes-Pati

Santa ki biwi sapne mein chillati hai, "Arre jadi bhago! Mera pati aa gaya hai!"

Santa jaldi se uthkar khidi se bahar chalang lagata hai. Chot khane ke baad use khayaal aata hai, "Arre, pati to main hi hoon!"

Santa and Banta jokes in Hindi-Bharatiya sanskaar

Santa : Bhartiya patni bahaut sanskaron waali hoti hai

Banta : Achha? Kaise

Santa : Woh sabke samne apne pati ko "Abey Gadhe" nahi kehti, isliye short mein " A.G. "sunte ho kehti hai...

Short Santa jokes-Wrong English

A cop stopped Santa who was riding on his scooter at midnight.

Santa was completely drunk, so the cop asked him, "How high are you?".

Santa laughed and said, "This is wrong English. It should be 'Hi, How Are You'?"

Short Santa jokes-Strawberry cream

Santa: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my butt."

Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

Santa's wedding night

Santa paying on wedding night.

Santa : Hey bhagwaan, mujhe taaqat and tajurba de.

Santa's wife: Sirf taaqat maangiye, bhagwaan ki daya se tajurba to yahaan bahut hai.

Santa gets slapped

Santa went to Cafe Coffee Day and saw a pretty girl. He went up to her and said, "I love you!"

The Girl slapped him hard shouted, "What did you just say???"

Santa: "When you did not hear it, why the hell did you slap me so hard?"

Santa's accident

Nurse asks patient with bleeding head:
Your name?
Patient: Santa Singh
Nurse: Date of Birth?
Santa: 21st July
Nurse: Married?
Santa: No, Car Accident!

Santa Banta sms in Hindi-Zindagi ki sacchai

Santa explaining truth of Life to Banta:

Sab kehte hai akele aaye the, akele jayenge
Par sach to yeh hai ki
do logon ke bagair koi aata nahi,
aur
chaar logok ke bagair koi jata nahi

Short Santa jokes-Sting

Foreigner to Santa : In India, how do you call your wive HONEY in your native language?"

Santa : My friend, we call them Bee-Bee, they sting twice as hard as HONEY BEE!!

Santa and Banta jokes in Hindi-Aatma se pyaar

Train ke compartment mein baith kar, Santa apni girlfriend ko oonchi oonchi phek raha thaa.

Santa: Jaaneman, main tumhaari aatma se pyaar karta hoon, mujhe tumhari jism ki koi chah nahin hai. Main tumhari rooh ko chahta hoon, tumhare shareer ko toh main kutton ko daal doon.

Banta sitting on upper berth barks "BOW BOW"!

Short Santa jokes-Maths

Teacher: What is the full form of Maths?

Santa: Mentally affected teachers harassing students!

Santa and Banta jokes in Hindi-Acche nagrik

Santa: Batao kaunsi cast ke log desh ke acche nagrik hote hain?

Banta: Baniye

Santa: Woh kaise?

Banta: Tumhe har jagah likha milega"Desh ke acche nagrik baniye".

Santa Banta shaayari

Santa: Arz kiya hai...
Aankhon mein nami thi, aur vitamin ki kami thi...

Banta: Wah wah

Santa : Aankhon mein nami thi aur vitamin ki kami thi...
Jisse raat bhar chat kiya, woh girlfriend ki mummy thi.

Santa Banta sms in Hindi-Kutta

Santa : Tera ye kutta to sher jaisa dikhta hai, isko kya khilata hai?

Banta : Yeh saala sher hi hai, iski shadi ke baad shakal kutte jaisi ho gayi hai.

Santa flirting

Santa was flirting with neighborhood girl. He asks, "Tumara naam kya hey?"

Girl says, "Mujhe sab DIDI bulate hain."

Santa says, "Arre kamaal hai...what coincidence...mujhe sab jeejaji bulate hain!"

Short Santa jokes-Thailand

Santa ki wife Jeeto ne holiday ki planning karte hue kaha, "Tum mujhe apne sath Thailand kyon nahi le jaate?"

Santa ne jawab diya, "Kua kisi ko restaurant mein tiffin le jaate suna hai?"

Short Santa jokes-Handle with care

Santa ne ek ladki ki t-shirt pe padha : “Handle with Care”

Phir kya tha, usne apni jeans ke aage chhapwa liya: “Candle with Hair“

Santa and Banta jokes in Hindi-Status update

Santa ki biwi mar gayi. Uska kriya-karam kuch ganton mein hona tha.

Santa ka dost Banta uska dukh baantne aaya aur use shaant karke bola, "Mian tere liye kuch kar sakta hoon?"

Santa bola, "Haan, mujhe laptop la de."

Banta bola, "Sab khairiyat to hai."

Santa: "Arre, facebook pe status single karna hai."

Santa ki mummy

Santa ki mummy: Bees saal tak meri koi aulad nahi hui.

Nayee padosan: Fir aapne kya kiya?

Santa ki mumm: Fir kya, main Saal ki hui to mere daddy ne meri shadi karwa di...tab ja ke Santa paida hua.

Naughty Santa and Banta

Santa ne Banta se poocha: Bata, tujhe bra-panty kaisi achhi laghti hai - black ya white?

Banta se jawaad diya : Utri hui.

Photographer Santa

Santa ka photography ka studio tha. Ek din Santa chhote bache se kehta hai: "Meri taraf dekho beta, iss camera se kabutar niklega."

Bacha: "Focus adjust kar... ganwaron wali baat mat kar, Portrait Mode use karna Macro ke saath, High Resolution may pic aani chahiye, facebook pe upload karoonga.. warna paise nahi milenge... SAALA "kabutar nikalegaa"

Santa and Banta jokes in Hindi-Rate

Santa har hafte red-light area pe jaata tha aur bhav pata kar ke aata tha.

Banta: Jab tu kuch karta hi nahi to roz rate kyon poochta hai?

Santa: Arre, main pata karta hoon ke kaamwali bai kahin mehengi to nahi par rahi hai?