Santa and Banta jokes in Hindi-Jalebi

Santa: Tum Kitne Saal Se Jalebi Bana Rahe Ho?

Banta:30 Saal Se

Santa:Badi Sharm Ki Baat Hai, Tum Se Aaj Tak Jalebi Sidhi Nahi Bani..

Short Santa joke in Hindi-Tujhme Rab dikhta hai

Santa on Suhaag raat: Tuhi to jannat meri, Tu hi mera junoon......
Aur kuch na janu bas itna hi janu ki tujhme Rab dikhta hai, yaara main kya karoon.

Santa's Wife: Mattha tek te soja...

Short Santa sms jokes-Cellphone

During sex, Santa's wife tells him: U r like cellphone

Santa: oh really, do I vibrate a lot?

Wife: no, d moment u enter d tunnel, u lose ur network.

Short Santa jokes-Kitna pyar?

Santa- Tum Muje kitna pyar karti ho?

GF: Chaha hai jise chahat se zyada
Samja hai jise khud se zyada
Bharosa hai jispe sabse zyada
Tu hi hai woh "HAR*MZADA"

Santa Banta sms in Hindi-Raddi

Santa: Wo meri kismat meri takdeer ho gayee, Wo meri kismat meri takdeer ho gayee,

Banta : Aage kya??

Banta: Hamne unki yaad me khat itne likhe ki, woh "RADDI" bechkar hi ameer ho gayee...

Santa Banta joke-Coffee and sleep

Santa and Banta are discussing.

Santa: "If i drink coffee, i can't sleep!!!!"

Banta: "With me it's the opposite.if i sleep i can't drink coffee."

Santa Banta sms in Hindi-Soch

Santa : Soch raha hoon ki USA ghoom aaun. Kitna Paisa lagega?

Banta : Kuch bhi nahi.

Santa : Kaise?

Banta : Sochne ke liye Paise nahee lagte.

Santa and Banta jokes in Hindi-Kaam chor

Santa : Oye, tu koi kaam nahi karta, tujhe Police pakar ke le jayegi.

Banta : Woh kyon?

Santa: Kyon ke tu Kaam-Chor hai!

Short Santa jokes-Total

Teacher to Santa:- Your son is a Fool, see his report card..
English...2
Maths...5
Science...7
Social Studies...8
Hindi...3
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Total...25
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Santa:- "Total" mein to kamaal kia hai... is Subject ki to Tuition bhi nahi lagai thi.

Santa Banta sms in Hindi-BMW

Santa: Mujhe Shaadi Mein BMW mili hai.

Banta: PartTumhare pass to koi Car nahi hai!

Santa: Abe Gadhe, BMW ka matlab, "Bahut Moti Wife".

Santa and Banta jokes in Hindi-Gaali

Santa:Aaj kisine mere BAAP ko gaali di.

Banta:Fir?

Santa:Maine bhi uske baap ko gaali di.

Banta:Lekin wo kaun tha?

Santa:Mera BETA.

Santa Banta joke-Rich

Santa: “Banta, this is not done. You are marrying that girl only because she is so rich.”

Banta: “It will be all the more wrong if she remains unmarried because of her wealth.’

Sardar jokes-Manmohan

Finally bapu ke 3 lost Bandaron ka pata mil gaya hai.

1) KARUNANIDHI - Jisko Kuch Dikhta Nahi

2) MAMTA- Jo Sunti Nahi

3) MANMOHAN - Jo Bolta Nahi

Santa Banta sms jokes-Change

Santa: What is the similarity in ‘marriage’ and the time ‘23:59’?

Banta: In both cases, days ‘change’.

Short Santa jokes-False temptations

Santa's wife: “I am going to my parents. Once there, I will send you a divorce notice.”

Santa: “Don’t give me those false temptations.”

Santa Banta sms jokes-Intend

Santa Singh: “Yaar Banta, I don’t understand why these young boys keep following girls even though they don’t intend to marry them.”

Banta Singh: “Have you ever noticed dogs barking and chasing cars for some distance? Yet they never get to sit in them.”

Santa and Banta jokes in Hindi-Shaadi se inkaar

Santa- Mai Shaadi nahi karunga

Banta - Kyon?

Santa - Kyon ki Gaon wale meri mangetar ko taxi kehte hain

Banta - Arre karle yaar. Chhota saa to Gaon hai, Kitni chali hogi?

Short Santa jokes-Tone

Santa: “Junior, it’s very wrong on your part to have talk to your mother in that tone.”

Junior: “I know papa, you are jealous because you can’t.”

Santa's wife

Santa's wife to children: Jo meri baat manega aur mere aage kuch nahi bolega, main use gift dungi.

Santa's Children:Lo ji, is tarah to saare gift Papa hi le jayenge!!

Santa Banta sms jokes-No AC

Santa: “It’s stuffy in the car. Banta, open the window and let some fresh air come in.”

Banta: “Are you mad? People will know we have no AC in our car.”

Santa Banta joke-Want to be featured on Television?

Santa to Banta : If you survive a tragedy, you will be featured on Satyamev Jayate.

Banta: If not?

Santa: Then on Crime Patrol.

Santa Banta sms jokes-Group of people

Santa : What do you call a group of people where two people are thinking of sex and all others are thinking of food?

Banta : What?

Santa: A Wedding!!

Santa and Banta jokes in Hindi-Tumhare paas kya hai?

Santa, who is rich, says to Banta: Aaj mere pass 9 cars, 16 bikes, 3 bungalows & 2 farmhouses hain...tumhare paas kya hai?

Banta, who is poor, replies back: Mere paas Beta hai, jiski GF teri beti hai!

Short Santa jokes-Girl or boy

Teacher: Is Google a girl or a boy?

Santa: Google is a Girl.....because it won't let you complete the whole sentence and start guessing, suggesting...and you ask only one question...but get hundreds of irrelevant answers in seconds...

Short Santa jokes-Practicing Maths

Mom to seven-year-old Santa; Let's practice Maths. We will start with addition. If a girl gives you two Dairy Milk chocolates & 2 ice-cream, what's your answer?

Santa: Love you baby, mwah!!!

Short Santa jokes-Meaning

Student: “Sir, what is the meaning of ‘I am leaving?”

Teacher: “I am going.”

Student: “You just can’t go like that. First explain the meaning.”

Santa's dreams

Santa to a psychologist: “Doctor, I have the same dream day after day.”
Doctor: “Is it? What is that dream?”
Santa: “I am in bed with four beautiful girls. They caress me and undress me.”
Doctor, now excited: “What happens then?”
Santa: “Then my dream breaks, I am wide awake at that crucial point.”
Doctor (disappointed): “What do you want me to do?”
Santa: “Give me some medicine so that I continue to sleep for another hour.”

Manmohan Singh

Sardar: Jo Bole So Nihaal!

Prime Minister Manmohan Singh: Jo Bole So-nia!

Santa Banta joke-Cycle

Santa was getting married. Immediately afterwards he got emotional and told his bride: “Darling, from this moment whatever is mine is yours.”

His friend, Banta: “Poor b*stard. All he had is a cycle, now that too has gone.”

Santa Banta sms in Hindi-Arranged Marriage

Santa: Love marriage mein apni girlfriend se shaadi kartay hain.

Banta: Aur arranged marriage mein?

Santa: Kisi aur ki girlfriend se!

Smart Santa

Santa went to a restaurant for his usual round of tea. A girl came in and sat at his table. While having tea, they got acquainted. Both seemed to like each other and went for a long drive with intention to get intimate. Santa drove the car out of the city limit and stopped at a secluded place.

When Santa tried to do the obvious, the girl said: “Sorry boss, I didn’t mention that I am a call girl. It will be two thousand rupees for the services.”

Santa paid her and did what he intended to do. They rested for a while and then the girl said: “Well, it's over and it was nice, time to go back.”

Santa said coolly: “Well, I didn’t tell you either. I am a Taxi driver. The fare will be two thousand five hundred.”

Santa's robot

Santa Singh bought a robot which was unique in the sense that it detected a lie and punished the liar with a solid kick. One day Santa Singh’s son came home late and Santa Singh asked him the reason for being late.

Son: “Dad, today we had extra classes.” The robot kicked the son hard.

Santa Singh: “Now tell me. Where were you?”

Son: “I had been to a movie.”

Santa Singh: “Which one?”

Son: “Jagruti.” The robot kicked him again.

Now wiser, the son said: “Jawani diwani.”

Santa Singh: “You should be ashamed. When I was your age, I never missed classes……”

Santa Singh couldn’t speak further. He was dealt with a hard kick.

Santa's wife: “Leave him alone, will you? He has got this habit of lying from you. After all he is your son.”

And the robot kicked Mrs. Singh, quick and hard.

Short Santa jokes-100 saal

A school boy, Santa, was m*sturbating in school bathroom.

Suddenly teacher came and opened the door.

Boy says : Madam, 100 saal jiyogi aap..

Santa jokes-Never argue with wife

Santa was going through a survey on women’s nature against that of men.

Santa to his wife: “Look, this is interesting. Women speak twice as much as men in a day. If a man speaks a hundred sentences in a day, a woman does two hundred.”

Mrs. Santa: “It is because women have to repeat everything for a man to understand.”