Santa and Banta jokes in Hindi-21 Topein

Banta : Praji, Jab Main Paida Hua Tha To Military Walon Ne 21 Topein Chalayeen Thi.
Santa : Kamaal Hai ! Sab Ka Nishana Kayse Chook Gaya..?

Santa Banta joke-Millionaires

Santa: All men are millionaires in their sperm count.

Banta: Even these millions are spent on girls.

Short Santa jokes-Signature

Teacher: Ye kiska signature hai?
"@@@@@@@@@@@@"
Santa: Meri mummy ka.
Teacher: Aisa kaisa naam hai?
Santa: "Ji, JALEBI BAAI"

Santa Banta sms jokes-Switched off

Santa : I tried your number so many times, it always said ‘Switched Off’!”

Banta : Nahi Pape, it’s my HELLO TUNE!

Short Santa jokes-Not doing anything

Girl: I'm warning u My Mum is coming back in half an hour..

Santa: But I am not doing anything.

Girl: Dat's why I am warning u. Hurry up!

Short Santa jokes-Substitute

A gay with heavy makeup standing on the roadside late one evening.

Santa stops his car and asks: Are you prostitute?

Gay: No baby, I'm a Substitute!

Santa Banta sms in Hindi-Papad aur Jhapad

Santa: Papad aur Jhapad me kya farak hai

Banta: Kha ke dekh lo, phir farak samaj jaoge!

Santa Banta jokes-Didi

Santa was blessed with a baby girl. He got worried.

He told Banta, “You know these boys, they sexually harass girls.”

Banta said, “Oh don’t worry, name her DIDI (big sister), and no one will come near."

Santa Banta jokes in Hindi-Google darling

Santa to Banta: Tum apni biwi ko kya naam se bulate ho?
Banta: Google darling.
Santa: Why such a strange name?
Banta: Ek sawal karo, 100 jawab deti hai!

Short Santa jokes-An economical thought

Santa took his Girlfriend out for dinner, but did not have enough money.

He thought of an idea to save money and said to his girlfriend"
"Bol Kya Khayegi MOTI ??"

Santa and banta jokes in Hindi-Shadi shuda murgi

Santa : Shadi shuda murgi jab mathe par sindoor lagati hai, usse kya kahte hai?

Banta: Chicken Tikka

Short Santa jokes-Beans

A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word "beans"..

"My father grows beans," said one student.

"My father cooks beans," said another.

Then little Santa spoke up: "We are all human beans"

Santa banta sms jokes-Unbreakable

Santa asked Banta, "What it the guarantee that the mirror you trying sell would not break."

Banta, “If you drop this mirror from 100th floor, it will not break until all the way to 99th floor down.”

Santa, “99% strong, OK pack it.”

Short Santa jokes-Indian economy

Santa describes Indian economy in one line:
"A man who can pick up 100 kgs of rice can't buy it & a man who can buy it, can't pick it up"

Santa Banta sms in Hindi-Six

Banta: “SEX And SIX Mein Kya Difference Hai?”

Santa: “Balla Utha Ke Maro To SIX Aur Skirt Utha Ke Maro To SEX."

Short Santa jokes-Pehele tum

In a party, a lady wanted to go to the toilet so she inquired with Santa:"Susu karne ki jagah dikhao"

Santa replied: "You naughty, pahele tum dikhao"

Santa Banta jokes in Hindi-Pyar kab hota hai?

Santa:Ye pyar kab hota hai?

Banta: Jab time khrab chal raha ho, rahu ketu or shani ki dasa kharab ho, apka mangal kamjor ho, aur bhagwan maze lene ke mood mein ho....

Santa Banta joke-Man And Woman

Santa = What's The Difference Between Man And Woman..??

Banta = Man Has PEN Without CAP...... Woman Has PURSE Without ZIP.....!!

Santa Banta sms in Hindi-Afeem

Santa: Afeem hai?
Banta: Kya karna hai?
Santa: Kisi ko deni hai.
Banta: Kamaal hai, log afeem kha ke kisi ki lete hain, aur tum kehte ho ki deni hai....

Santa Banta joke-Marriage

Santa : Marriage is like a public toilet.

Banta: How?

Santa: Those waiting outside are desperate to get in & those inside are desperate to come out.

Santa Banta sms in Hindi-Sharam

Wife: aaj jab main apni BRA pahen rahi thi tab Banta mujhe dekh raha tha.
Santa, the husband asked: To phir tumne kya kiya?
Wife: Mine sharam ke mare BRA se apna muh chupa liya....

Short Santa jokes-Frog

Teacher to Santa: Name five animals that live in water?
Santa; FROG.
Teacher: Another four animals?
Santa: Frog di Maa, odi Phen, oda Praa te oda pyo..!!

Santa Banta SMS in Hindi-Time

Santa: Time kya hua?
Banta: Sham ke 6 baje hain!
Santa: Sala, subah se pooch raha hoon, sab alag alag time bata rahe hain.

Santa Banta joke-Movie tickets

Santa was buying the movie tickets again and again.
Finally Banta, the ticket seller, asked: Why?
Santa: Some fool is standing near the door and tearing my tickets!

Short Santa jokes-How to tackle wife?

Santa was searching keywords on Google `How to tackle wife?`

Google search result, `Good day sir, Even we are searching`.

Short Santa jokes-Short lived happiness

Santa messages wife,: Hi, what you are doin darling?
Wife: I'm dying.
Santa jumps with joy but types,: O my dear how can I live without you?
Wife: You idiot, im dyeing my hair.
Santa: Bloody English!

Santa Banta joke-Osama Bin Laden

Santa discussing Osama Bin Laden with Banta,

"Imagine living with 3 wives in one compound and never leaving the house for 5 years. Osama Bin Laden must have called the US Navy Seals himself!"

Short Santa jokes-Dial

If Santa wants to dial 94494 94494, how will he dial?
He will first dial ..... 94494
and then he will "REDIAL"94494.

Santa Banta joke-Change

Santa, a student, attached Rs.100 currency note to his exam paper and wrote:"Re.1 for 1 mark."

Evaluator was Banta. He sent 81 rupees back and wrote,"You got 19 marks, keep the change."

Santa Banta sms jokes-Password

Santa : I changed all my passwords to incorrect

Banta : Why??

Santa : So my computer tells me when I forget.

Short Santa joke in Hindi-Mor

Kaamwali ko Santa chhed raha tha.
Kaamwali: Badtamizi karoge to Mor bana dungi"
Santa: Murga suna tha, par Mor kaise banaogi?
Kaamwali: G**nd mein jhadu dalke!

Short Santa jokes-Proposal

Santa proposed a sexy girl.

Girl:-Tumne mere me kya dekh liya Jo muje propse kar rahe ho?

Santa:- Sab kuch dekhne ke liye hi to propose kar raha hoon..

Santa Banta joke-Could not sleep

Santa complained to Banta, “I could not sleep whole night in the train on upper berth.”

Banta said, “Well, you should have exchanged with the person on the lower berth.”

Santa “Yes, but with whom do I exchange, there was no one to talk to in lower berth.”

Santa Banta joke-Grammar class

Grammar Teacher:"Santa does not like girls....What is Santa in this sentence?"

Banta: Gay

Short Santa joke in Hindi-Saboot

Judge : Kya saboot hai ke tum Car speed main nahi chala rahe thay?

Santa : Sir main apni biwi ko lene Sasuraal ja raha tha.

Judge : That's all, Case Dismissed!

Short Santa jokes-Khudkhushi

Santa khudkushi par speech de raha tha...

"Khudkhushi paap hai, zulm hai, gunaah hai, buzdili hai, pagalpan hai.........
Khudkhushi karne se behtar hai ke insaan khud to goli maar de"

Short Santa jokes-Notice board

Santa saw a wooden notice board in the middle of the big pond and had forgotten his eye glasses at home. He could not read, so he swam all the way to the board and read,

“Lake infiltrated with killing Crocodiles, do not swim.”

Santa Banta jokes in Hindi-Self insult

What is self insult?

Angry boss Santa: Tumne kabhi ullu dekha hai?
Employee Banta (sar khuja ke): No Sir!!
Boss Santa: Niche kya dej=kh rahe ho. Look at me.

Short Santa jokes-New email id

Santa creates new e-mail id

gmail@sardarji.com

hacker dies
virus cries
google shocked!
computer blocks
Santa rocks!

Santa Banta joke-Bank robbery

Santa went to rob a bank and noticed he forgot to bring the Gun from home.
However, he did rob the bank.

He went to the Bank Manager Banta who told him to go ahead and rob the bank. "I trust you, bring and show me your gun tomorrow.”

Santa Banta joke-Ghar me raha karo

Santa to Pappu:Where's Sukhna Lake?
Pappu: Pata nahi.
Santa: Kabhi ghar se bhi nikla karo.
Pappu: Who's Banta?
Santa: Pata nai.
Pappu: Kabhi ghar me bhi raha karo.

Santa Banta sms in Hindi-Gandhiji ka mobile

Santa 100 ke note par likha number dial kar raha tha.

Banta ne poocha: Yeh tu kya kar raha hai?

Santa : Dekh raha hoon, Gandhiji to chale gaye, par unka mobile kiske paas hai.

Santa Banta sms in Hindi-Bardasht

Santa: Yaar main do mushkilon me phanss gaya hoon.

Banta: Wo konsi?

Santa: Biwi makeup kare to kharcha bardasht nahi hota aur na kare to biwi bardasht nahi hoti.

Santa Banta joke-Pappita

SANTA : Oye tussi PAPPITA bechanay wali nu KISS kyun kiya??

BANTA : Yaar, vo hi baar baar shor paa rahi thi PAPPI TA LE LO, PAPPI TA LE LO

Santa Banta jokes-Madness

Santa is licking, caressing and kissing his OWN fingers, palm & hand....

Banta : Why this madness?

Santa: This is foreplay.. before Masturbation !!

Short Santa jokes-Akbar was gay

Teacher: Who was AKBAR?

Santa: Akbar was Gay!

Teacher(Shocked): Why?

Santa: We have heard.

LAILA-MAJNU,

HEER-RANJHA,

ADAM-EVE,

SONI-MAHIVAL

& Only

AKBAR-BIRBAL..???

Short Santa jokes-Komal

Santa looking at d name plate of Air Hostess stuck above her left breast. KOMAL

With lots of confusion, he asked....Doosra (Right) Wala SAKHT hai kya?

Santa joke in Hindi-Bungee jumping

Santa to Wife- Main New-Zealand vich kuriyan nal BUNGEE jumping khoob enjoy kitti.

Wife- Aur Maine vi pind vich mundya naal MANJI ( bed) jumping khub Enjoy kitti.

Short Santa joke - Shadi

American says " US mein shaadi E-mail se hoti hai.."

Sardarji " India me to.. shaadi Fe-mail se hoti hai...!!!"

Santa Banta SMS joke - Dictionary

Santa: "In my Dictionary there is no word called 'IMPOSSIBLE'....

Banta: "What's the use of saying it now, you should have checked it before buying THE DICTIONARY !!

Santa Banta SMS in Hindi - Maths

Santa: Yaar hum Hindi bolte hain, English bolte hain, but maths kyun nahi?

Banta: Ziyada 3-5 mat kar aur 9-2-11 ho ja varna 4-5 dhar dunga, 36 ke 6 reh jayenge samjha....

Santa banta joke - Interview

Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?

Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. ….

Interviewer shouts: Stop it.

Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup…

Short Santa jokes-Idiot

Santa calls White House and says: I want to be the next President of the USA.

Obama: Are you an idiot?

Santa: Why? Is it compulsory?...

Santa Banta joke - Father

Nurse : "Congratulation! You have become father!"

Santa : "Don't tell my wife, I will give her surprise."

Santa banta joke - Brave Santa

Santa was passing by a road and he sees a crowd on road side and people shouting "Bachao , bachao ( save, save)"
Santa reaches there, people were surrounding a well and shouting to save somebody inside the well.
Santa immediately jumps inside the well and brings a boy out with him.
Every body was happy and started congratulating Santa singh " Shabash, well done"
Santa replied " Vo sab to theek hai, pahle ye batao ki mere ko dhakka kisne mara? ( That is ok, first tell me who pushed me?)

Santa banta SMS in Hindi - Essay

Teacher : Kal main ne tuje Kutte pe essay likhne ko kaha tha, tu likhake kyun nahi laya?

Santa ka beta : Ki karada Sir, Jaise hi main ne Kutte pe pen rakha, vo bhag gaya!

Santa and banta jokes - Mosquitoes

Santa and Banta moved to their new house where there were lot of mosquitoes.
At night to solve mosquitoes problem Santa tied mosquito net above the bed.
Then he went below the bed to sleep.
Looking at him confused Banta asked " Why are you sleeping below the bed?"
Santa: " I am fooling the mosquitoes"
Banta replied : "Good idea, I will join you"

Santa banta joke in hindi - Dusri Shadi

Santa: mere marne ke baad, kyaa tum dusri shadi karogi?

Prito : nahi. Main apni behan ki sath rahungi. Aap?

Santa: main bhi tumhari behan ke sath rahunga

Santa banta joke in Hindi - Ladaki

Santa singh shadi ke liye ek ladaki dekhne gaye.

Ladaki ki ma ne bola " Ladki abhi padhai kar rahi hai"

Santa : "Koi bat nahi, main do ghante ke bad aata hoon"

Short Santa joke - Problem

Santa to girlfriend : My darling, I can't marry you bcoz, my family won't allow me to do this.

Girlfriend: who is there in your family?

Santa : my wife and 3 children...

Santa banta sms joke - Honeymoon

Santa: I am so miser that I went alone for my honeymoon and saved half the money.

Banta: That is nothing, I saved full money. I sent my wife for honeymoon with a friend.

Santa banta joke - Chicken or egg

Santa asked Banta : What comes first - the chicken or the egg?
Banta: How easy question !
Santa : then answer
Banta : whichever' s order you give first!