Detective firm

There was a vacancy in a detective firm. Three persons went for the interview, one Bihari, one Bengali and one Sardar. The executive at the detective agency called them one by one and asked them the same question: “Who killed Ravana?”

The Bihari replied without hesitation: “Ram.”

The Bengali took his time as is their want and said: “It was Ram.”

Now it was Sardarji’s turn. After listening to the question Sardarji paused a little and asked for some time to ponder over the issue. The boss was amused but OK’d his request and told him to answer the next day. He went home with a box of sweets in his hands and exited, told his wife: “I am in business. I already got the job and I have been entrusted to solve a murder mystery.”

Simple solution

Santa aur Banta ladkiyaan chhed rahe the.

Do ladkiyon ne pareshaan hoke Santa aur Banta ke haath mein rakhi baandh di and unko kaha : Ab aap kya karoge?

Santa ne Banta se kaha: Banta, tu meri behen se shaadi kar le, main teri behen se karta hoon!

In the bar

Santa to Banta :Yaar meri biwi ne mera mazaak banwa diya.

Banta : Kya hua

Santa : Hum log bar gaye the. Main baathroom gaya to Preeto bar tender ke saamne stool par baith gayi.
Uske left waale bande ne baar waale se kaha, "Jack Daniels, single."
Uske right wale bande ne baar waale se kaha, "Johnny Walker, single"
To Preeto bol padi, "Preeto Kaur, married!"




 

Saas

Santa was practicing yoga.

Banta asked,"Arre ye kya kar raha hai?"

Santa said, "Yog ka abhyas kar raha hoon. Baba Ramdev ji kehte hain ke fit rehna hai to saas par control karo."

Banta commented, "Arre yaar, yahaan gharwali control nahi hoti, saas pe kya khaak control karenge!"

Prayers answered

Santa: “Banta, look at that notice near the entrance of that temple which says: Do not leave your wife alone inside the temple when it is crowded."

Banta: “I know. You may be tempted to think God has answered your prayer after all.”

Good behavior

Santa: “Banta, I am very happy today. My son is returning tomorrow.”

Banta: “But I understand he was jailed for seven years. I think it is a little over four years now. A few more are left, isn’t it?”

Santa: “You are right. But he is pardoned for his good behavior in the jail for the rest of his term.”

Banta: “How very wonderful. May God bless everyone with such well behaved boys.”

Dukhi GF

Santa ki gf Pinky badi dukhi lag rahi thi.

Santa ne poocha, "Kya hua darling?"

Pinky ne kaha, "Mere Dad ne mere liye ladka pasand kiya hai. Bahut jaldi main kissi aur ki ho jaoongi."

Santa excite ho ke bola, "Wah, iska matlab hum bina condom ke bhi sex kar sakte hain!"

Santa's psychological problem

Santa Singh barges into the psychiatrist's cabin, and seating himself, cries, "Doctor doctor, help me please!! I keep thinking I am a pig!"

The doctor orders, "Get off my couch."

Badle hue

Santa aur uski wife Preeto Shimla ghoomne jaa rahe the. Raaste mein unka accident ho jaata hai aur dono ki death ho jaati hai.

Santa ghost ban jaata hai aur Preeto dayan.

Woh log jab milte hain, to Preeto pyar se bolti hai, "Kitne badle hue lag rahe hain jee aap ghost ban kar."

Santa jawab deta hai, "Par tum bilkul nahi badli!"

Before and After

Santa: “What do people do just before they get married?”

Banta: “They dream of a happy future and laugh excitedly.”

Santa: “And what after marriage?”

Banta: “They reminisce about their happy past and cry.”