Santa Banta sms jokes-Urdu word

Santa : Tell me what is the Urdu word for a topless woman revealing her breasts?

Banta : No idea

Santa: It's KHUL-E-AAM!!!

Hilarious Sardar jokes

4 sardaron ne mil ke petrol pump khola.
Ek bhi customer nahi aaya ..
Kyon..?
Petrol pump was on 1st floor..

Phir charon ne usi floor par restuarant khola.
Ek bhi customer nahi..
Kyon..?
Petrol pump ka board nahi hataya..

Phir charon ne ek taxi li.
Ek bhi sawari nahi.
Kyon..?
2 sardar aage and 2 piche baith ke sawari dhund rahe the..

Taxi kharab ho gayi.
Charon ne khub dhakka lagaya, par taxi wahin ki wahin.
Kyon..?
2 aage se and 2 piche se dhakka de rahe the..

Phir charon ne ek bachhe ko kidnap kiya.
Bachhe ko kaha ghar ja apne baap se 5 lac rupees le ke aa warna tujhe maar denge.
Bachha ghar gaya aur uske papa ne paise de bhi diye.
Kyon.?
Bachhe ka baap bhi sardar tha..

Jail aur Qaidi

Santa Singh got married. On his honeymoon night, he went inside the room and sat next to his wife Preeto. As he started making his move, Preeto got nervous.

Santa: Jaanu, tussi itna kyun ghabra rahi ho?

Preeto: Mujhe sex ke baarey mein kucch bhi nahin pata, ji!

Santa: Arey, toh ismey sharmaaney ki kya baat hai...(He points at his dick) Isko kehte hain 'Qaidi'....(Then he points at her private part) and says, 'Isko kehte hain Jail. Jab Qaidi jail mein jaata hai, toh usey sex kehtey hain.

Preeto: Itna aasan! Toh phir chaalu karein?

They have passionate sex and Santa relaxes......

Preeto nudges him again and says: Suno ji, Jail khuli hai aur Qaidi baahar hai.....

Santa gets on her again and they make out......

After 10 minutes, Preeto nudges him again and says: Jail khuli hai..... Qaidi ko daalo na.....

santa thodi himmat jutaata hai and makes love to her again. As he lies exhausted, Preeto says: Jail khali padi hai...... Qaidi ko jaldi bhejo na!'

Santa: Oye saali, Qaidi ko koi 'Umar Qaid' ki sazaa thodi mili hai!

Santa Banta sms in Hindi-Office

Santa : Tum iss office mein kab se kaam kar rahe ho?

Banta: Jab se Boss ne mujhe naukri se nikaal dene ki dhamki di hai.

Jewellery for girlfriend

Santa went to a jewellery shop to buy a locket for his girlfriend. After checking several pieces, he selected a costly one. Impressed, the salesman asked if he wanted to have his girlfriend’s name engraved on the locket.

Santa was thoughtful for a while: “I don't think that's a good idea. For one, I have not yet decided which girlfriend to give it to. For another, I can always give it to the next one if the previous one is not worthy of it.”

Short Santa jokes-Niyat

Santa ki shadi par doston ne mazaak me Dulhan ki jaga ek Larkay ko bitha diya.

Santa ne Ghunghat uthaya to hhush ho gaya aur bola, "Insaan ki niyat saaf ho to kya nahi milta!"

Short Santa jokes-Shooting wife

Judge : Why did you shoot your wife instead of shooting her lover?

Santa : Your honour, it's easier to shoot a woman once, than shooting one man every week.

Short Santa jokes-Worse than divorce

Santa incurred heavy losses in the share market.

He was heard complaining to his friend Banta, "This is worse than divorce... I have lost everything and I still have my wife."

Santa Banta sms in Hindi-Chot

Santa: Tumne yeh pattian kyon baandh rakhi hain?

Banta: Kal ek aadmi meri gaddi se takra gaya tha.

Santa: Chot to us aadmi ko aaye hogi, phir pattian tumne kyon baandh rakhi hain?

Banta: Arre kuch nahi, woh market mein usi bande se achanak mulakat ho gayee.

Santa and Banta jokes in Hindi

Producer Santa: “Maine Mallika Sherawat ko Draupadi ka role diya hai.”

Actor Banta: “Wo to thik hai. Lekin phir main khichunga kya?”

Santa's flight to Delhi

Santa boarded a plane for Delhi from Mumbai. Though he had a window seat, he wanted the aisle seat. He pestered the air hostess demanding an aisle seat. She tried to reason with him saying that no other passenger with an aisle seat was prepared to exchange his/her seat, but Santa would not listen.

Finally, the captain came and whispered something in Santa's ears and Santa quietly settled in his window seat.

Surprised and relieved, the air hostess asked the captain what he had whispered in Santa’s ears.

The captain said;"Simple, I just told him that only the window seat will go to Delhi. Aisle seats will go to Ambala.”

Santa and Banta jokes in Hindi-Khud khushi ka darr

Santa Rali ki patriyon ke side par leta hua tha.

Banta: Kya kar raha hai?

Santa: Khud khushi

Banta: Arre, to phot beech mein late naa

Saata : Darr lagta hai, bhai.

Santa Banta joke-No tears

Santa : My wife passed away last night...I am trying hard to cry but the tears are not coming out.
What should I do?

Banta : That's easy. Just imagine she is coming back.

Santa Banta sms jokes-Dried ink

Santa received a blank SMS from Banta.

He called Banta and said, "Banta, maybe you haven't realized it, but the ink in your mobile phone has dried up."

Santa Banta joke-Hot or cold?

One day Santa visited Banta’s house.

The host Banta asked: “What will you like to drink, something hot or cold?

Santa: “Both.”

Banta to his servant: “Lalu, bring one glass of water from the fridge and one from the geyser.”