Late to work

When Santa was late for work, his boss Mr. Gupta shouted at him, "Is this the time to come to office?"

Santa pleaded, "Please forgive me Sir. My BMW did not arrive today."

Mr. Gupta was astonished and asked, "Santa, do you come to office in a BMW?"

Santa replied quickly, "No Sir. You are getting me wrong. BMW means Bartann Maanjane Waali."

Buttermilk

A customer was having buttermilk at Santa's shop. The customer commented, "Look, there is a fly in my buttermilk."

Santa commented, "Have a heart, sir. How much of your buttermilk will this little fly take away?"

Foreignor

Santa Singh asked his wife Preeto, "Do I appear as a foreigner?"

Preeto replied, "By no means! Why?"

Santa Singh said, "When I went to Bangkok, a storekeeper told me that I looked like a foreignor."

Ship travel

Santa : A hundred sardars from my village were travelling in a ship and they all died.

Banta : Oh my God! How did that happen?

Santa: Well the ship halted due to some technical fault and they all got down to push it.

Take off

Santa was travelling by air for the first time. The moment the front tyres of the plane left the ground for take off, Santa Singh went to the pilot's cabin and started beating him up. 

The pilot asked, "Why the hell are you hitting me?'

Santa replied, "You idiot, I am already scared out of my wits, and you are trying to play stunts!"

Responsible

Santa’s girlfriend’s father: “I will give my daughter’s hand to a responsible person, are you?”

Santa: “Sure, whenever there is any mishap in our house, everybody holds me responsible.”

Lie detector

A Frenchman, a German and an Indian Sardarji were to be put upon a lie detector to test the machine’s efficiency. 

The Frenchman said, "I assure you I can have half a bottle of neat whisky at a go.” The detector remained silent. 

The German began: "I assure you I can consume a whole bottle of neat whisky in one sitting.” The machine sounded Grrrrrrrr. 

Now it was our Sardarji’s turn:. "I assure…….” Grrrrrrr, off went the detector.

Detective firm

There was a vacancy in a detective firm. Three persons went for the interview, one Bihari, one Bengali and one Sardar. The executive at the detective agency called them one by one and asked them the same question: “Who killed Ravana?”

The Bihari replied without hesitation: “Ram.”

The Bengali took his time as is their want and said: “It was Ram.”

Now it was Sardarji’s turn. After listening to the question Sardarji paused a little and asked for some time to ponder over the issue. The boss was amused but OK’d his request and told him to answer the next day. He went home with a box of sweets in his hands and exited, told his wife: “I am in business. I already got the job and I have been entrusted to solve a murder mystery.”

In the bar

Santa to Banta :Yaar meri biwi ne mera mazaak banwa diya.

Banta : Kya hua

Santa : Hum log bar gaye the. Main baathroom gaya to Preeto bar tender ke saamne stool par baith gayi.
Uske left waale bande ne baar waale se kaha, "Jack Daniels, single."
Uske right wale bande ne baar waale se kaha, "Johnny Walker, single"
To Preeto bol padi, "Preeto Kaur, married!"




 

Mount Everest

Santa ne Mt. Everest pe ek baba ko guttka ragadte hue dekha.

Santa- Baba ye kya hai?.

Baba - Masala.

Santa - Achha, to Everest masala aap hi banate ho?

Short Santa jokes-See you

Santa office ke liye nikal hi raha tha, ki uski wife Preeto pyar se boli, "See u in the evening."

Santa ne gusse se jawaab diya, "Dhamki kise de rahi hai, main bhi tujhe dekh loonga."

Ghar pe koi nahi!

Santa ki girlfriend Simran bade romantic mood mein boli, "Aaj mere ghar koi nahi hai, aa jao naa."

Santa ne kaha, "Arre pagli, tu mere ghar aaja, yahaan hum saare hain, tera dil lag jayega."

Messaging

Preeto sent a message to Santa : When are you coming home? Send me a message & let me know.

Santa messaged back: Sorry, cannot tell you.Messaging is not free.

Short Santa joke-Only Blue tie

Santa Singh got an invitation for an official party and the invitation read "Only blue tie".

When Santa reached the venue, he found that people were also wearing shirt, trousers & blazers.

Sardar jokes-Kaun sa station?

Ek lady train se utri, usne ek sardar se poocha : ye kaun sa station hai?

Sardar ne socha… socha… socha… socha… socha, phir bola: “Behenji ye Railway Station hai”

Santa in accident

After an accident, a very angry driver caught Santa by the collar and said, "I showed you the headlights
and told you to go by side. Why didn't you pay attention?"

Santa replied, "I also started the wipers and said No, no, no...."

Santa's phone call

Santa dials a number, and a girl answers the phone.

Santa : Hello, kaun?

Girl : Main Seeta.

Santa: O teri!! Yeh to Ayodhya phone lag gaya....sorry Maate!

Short Santa jokes-Xerox

What did Santa do after taking a xerox.

He compared it with the original for spelling mistakes!

Santa's order in court

SANTA went to court

JUDGE:"Order ! Order !"

SANTA: "1 Pizza, 2 Dosa, 3 Idli & 1 Cold-drink !"

JUDGE: "Shut Up !"

SANTA: "No, no..7-Up!

Short Santa jokes-Chashma

Santa: Doctor saab, main Chashma laga ke padh to sakoonga na?

Doctor: Haan, bilkul.

Santa: To phir theek hai doctor saab, varna anpadh aadmi ki zindagi bhi koi zindagi hai.