Ship travel

Santa : A hundred sardars from my village were travelling in a ship and they all died.

Banta : Oh my God! How did that happen?

Santa: Well the ship halted due to some technical fault and they all got down to push it.

Lie detector

A Frenchman, a German and an Indian Sardarji were to be put upon a lie detector to test the machine’s efficiency. 

The Frenchman said, "I assure you I can have half a bottle of neat whisky at a go.” The detector remained silent. 

The German began: "I assure you I can consume a whole bottle of neat whisky in one sitting.” The machine sounded Grrrrrrrr. 

Now it was our Sardarji’s turn:. "I assure…….” Grrrrrrr, off went the detector.

Prayers answered

Santa: “Banta, look at that notice near the entrance of that temple which says: Do not leave your wife alone inside the temple when it is crowded."

Banta: “I know. You may be tempted to think God has answered your prayer after all.”

Good behavior

Santa: “Banta, I am very happy today. My son is returning tomorrow.”

Banta: “But I understand he was jailed for seven years. I think it is a little over four years now. A few more are left, isn’t it?”

Santa: “You are right. But he is pardoned for his good behavior in the jail for the rest of his term.”

Banta: “How very wonderful. May God bless everyone with such well behaved boys.”

Santa's psychological problem

Santa Singh barges into the psychiatrist's cabin, and seating himself, cries, "Doctor doctor, help me please!! I keep thinking I am a pig!"

The doctor orders, "Get off my couch."

Before and After

Santa: “What do people do just before they get married?”

Banta: “They dream of a happy future and laugh excitedly.”

Santa: “And what after marriage?”

Banta: “They reminisce about their happy past and cry.”

Fitter

At one point of time there was a heavy influx of immigrants in the US. So the authorities decided to screen the people coming in and allow only those who were professional in some field or the other. When Santa and Banta decided to migrate to the US, they too were screened. Santa went first and he was asked about his work and skill.

“Fitter” he said.

He was let in.

Banta went next and declared he worked in a ladies undergarment store. The officer at the screening counter rejected Banta’s plea and said that his was not a skilled profession.

Banta angered by this, said “But right before me, you let Santa go through.”

The Officer said, “He is skilled. He is a fitter.”

Banta commented, “Sure he is a fitter. When a lady comes in the store, Santa holds up a bra and says if it will fit the customer or not.”

Drive slow

Santa: “Did you notice Banta, there is not a single sign of ‘drive slow’ near this girls college?”

Banta: “No need. As it is, traffic is always slow here.”

Banta's wife

Santa has been admiring his neighbor, Banta's wife. Banta's wife always gives him this seductive smile whenever they greet each other. Santa didn't know how to approach the lady to tell her of his desires because she's married. So, one day the lady herself approached Santa when he was alone in his apartment.

Santa: Hi.

Lady: Hi.

Santa: Is everything alright?

Lady: Yes. Just need little help from you (Smiling seductively).

Santa: Wow! Anything for the angel.

Lady: I...I...I...just don't know how to say this. I'll be so ashamed of myself if I ask and you say no.

Santa: Oh my lady, you don't have to. I am ready to do anything for you.

Lady: You know, it's been over 3 weeks since my husband travelled.

Santa: Yes! Yes! Yes!

Lady: And even when he's around, he has some... (pause for a while) he has some disabilities.

Santa: Oh poor you. You must have been going through hell!

Lady: I know you'll be stronger than him.

Santa: Sure.

Lady: Can you help me?

Santa: Wow! Now? Sure, I'm ready if you are ready.

Lady: Oh thank goodness! That's why I came to you. Can you help me carry our deep freezer from our kitchen to the next street for repairs?

Dancing in the examination hall

Santa started dancing in the examination hall.

Banta asked him, "What the hell are you doing?"

Santa replied, "My tuition teacher said that there are marks for every step!"

Santa Banta joke-Physics exams

A frustrated Santa, who had to study for Physics exams,  says to Banta: Physics would have been much easier if....the Tree itself had fallen on Newton’s head instead of the Apple!

Short Santa jokes-NASA

Santa : I am going to join NASA.

Banta : Don't do that!

Santa : Why?

Banta : Because they will have to change their name to SARVANASA.

Santa Banta jokes-Movie Robot

Santa : What did you learn from Rajnikant's movie Robot?

Banta : That we are going to be technologically superior that most nations in the future.

Santa : No, we learn that a girl can not only spoil a man, but also machines!

Santa Banta sms jokes-Most dangerous alphabet

Santa : Do you know the most dangerous alphabet/

Banta : Which one?

Santa : It is "W"

Banta : Why?

Santa: b'coz all worries start with "W"
Who?
Why?
What?
When?
Which?
Whom?
Where?
Ware!
And finally
WIFE….!

Santa Banta jokes-Physics

Frustrated Santa says to his classmate Banta, "Physics would have been much easier if the Tree itself had fallen on Newton’s Head Instead of the Apple."

Santa Banta joke-Call girlfriend

Santa: Can I use your phone to call my girlfriend?

Banta: Ya sure, just redial!

Santa Banta joke-Brand new car

Banta's boss Santa came to work in his brand new Mercedes.

Admiring it, Banta said, "Nice car, sir."

"Well" said his boss Santa, "Work hard, put the hours in, and I'll have an even better one next year."

Santa Banta joke-7th sense

Santa: All human beings have 5 senses.

Banta: I know. There are also cases of people who have 6th sense.

Santa: But you are the Gifted one. Only you have a 7th sense. It is "NON-SENSE"

Santa Banta joke-Rat and Bat

Santa telling a joke to Banta: A rat and a bat had a one night stand. Both of them forgot about it. What would you call it?

Banta : Fails me!

Santa : Rat gayi bat gayi

Santa Banta sms jokes-Avengers sequel

Santa : The Avengers sequel should be dedicated to the police in Hindi movies who always arrive late and pick up the pieces.

Banta : Why?

Santa : They can call it Scavengers.