Santa aur Jyotish

Santa Ek Jyotish Ke Paas Kundli Dikhane Gaya.

Jyotish: Tera Naam Santa Singh Hai?

Santa: Ji Maharaj

Jyotish: Tujhe Do Ladki & Ek Ladka Hai?

Santa: ji Maharaj

Jyotish: Tune Abhi 10 Kilo Chawal Kharide Hai?

Santa: Haan, Oye Aap To Antaryami Ho

Jyotish: Bete Agli Baar Aana, To Kundli Lana Ration Card Nahi

Short Santa jokes-Beauty parlour

Santa's girlfriend: Main abhi-abhi beauty parlour se aa rahi hoon...

Santa: Kya baat hai! Aaj bhi band tha kya??

Santa insulting Banta

Santa is in an insulting mood.

Santa: There is a good news for you.

Banta: What?

Santa: You are going to the United States.

Banta: I am? How?

Santa : Some American scientist will take you there.

Banta: Why?

Santa: That's because they want to test how can you live without a brain.

Santa Banta sms jokes-Future tense

Santa: 'I killed a person' - convert this sentence into future tense.

Banta: The future tense is 'U will go to jail'.

Santa Banta joke-Weather forecast

Santa was walking with only one hand in a glove.

Banta asked him why he was wearing only one glove.

Santa replied that the weather forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot.

Short Santa jokes-First kiss

Santa to GF: Is this your first kiss?

GF (getting angry) : Of course!! Yesterday, Banta was also asking the same question!

Short Santa jokes-Obey

Santa to wife : You will never be able to make the dog obey you.

Santa's wife : It's just a matter of patience...do you remember how much trouble I had with you earlier?

Name to blame

Judge to Santa : Did you molest this English girl?

Santa: Judge saab, aap iska naam poochige to aap bhi isko molest kar doge!

Judge to victim: What is your name, lady?

Victim: Merry Marlow.

Santa pareshan!

Santa : Main yeh roz roz condom chadaane-utaarne ke jhanjat se pareshan ho gaya hoon.

Santa's wife: Aap lamination kyon nahi karwa lete?

Short Santa jokes-Toofani

Santa : Arre yaar, Thums Up walon ne pareshan kar ke rakha hai.

Banta: Kyon?

Santa: Meri biwi roz raat ko mujhe Thums Up pilati hai aur kehti hai "Chalo aaj kuch toofani karte hain"!!

Short Santa jokes-Ghabrahat

Santa ki shaag raat thi...

Santa's wife : Mujhe ghabrahat ho rahi hai.

Santa: Hamaari pehli raat hai, isliye?

Santa's wife: Arre nahi, RAAT ko pehli baar kar rahi hoon!

Santa Banta joke-Two legs

Santa : Tell me, which mouse walks on two legs?

Banta : No idea

Santa : It's Mickey Mouse...now tell me, which duck walks on two legs?

Banta: Donald duck

Santa: Wrong you moron.... all ducks walk on two legs!!

Santa and Banta jokes in Hindi-Wanted

Santa aur Banta deewar par poster dekhne hain "2 Biharis WANTED for rape"

Santa Banta se kehta hai: Yaar, sabse acchi jobs to in Biharion ko milti hain!

Santa Banta sms in Hindi-Badi zameen

Santa : Mere khet itne bade hain, ki agar main subah se apni car mein chaloon toh sham tak apni aadhi zameen bhi nahi dekh paoonga.

Banta : Mere paas bhi pehle aisi hi khatara car thi...maine bech di!

Short Santa jokes-Angry

What happens when Santa gets Angry ?

We have - an Angry Sird !!!