Santa's cooking

Santa set in front of the TV and spent the entire day surfing channels. He was of no help to his wife and just lazed around.

One day he asked: “What’s there for dinner?”

Wife (exasperated): “Why don’t you cook for a change? Just presume that I am at my parents’.”

Santa: “OK.”

A couple of hours later she got impatient and went to see, what was cooking. Santa was not in the kitchen. Dirty utensils were lying around the sink. There was no food left. She found Santa in their bedroom snoring loudly. Now angry, she woke him and asked: “Did you have your dinner?”

Santa: “Sure.”

Wife:” Why didn’t you make anything for me?”

Santa: “I assumed you are at your parents’.”

Message to Harbhajan Singh

Mukesh Ambani sends a message to Mumbai Indians captain HARBHAJAN SINGH:

"If you win, you can lift my wife;
But, if you lose, you'll have to lift my SON''

Darr ke aage jeet hai..........

Funny Santa joke-Diary

Santa and his wife used to write in their personal diaries every day.

One day, his wife wrote the following in her diary “He is not in mood today…..has remained silent and brooding…..doesn’t respond to my questions. May be he is tired of me. Worst still, if there is another woman in his life. Oh my God, I tried to get closer to him in bed……but he turned away. What am I to do? What will happen to me? Whom should I confide into?” Sobbing, she kept awake all night.

Santa wrote in his diary: “India lost today……damn it - not in mood for anything.” And he started snoring.

Santa Banta sms jokes-Tyres

Santa: You know, husband and wife are like 2 tyres of a scooter. If one tyre gets a puncture, the scooter can't move ahead.

Banta: Always keep a spare tyre!

Short Santa jokes-Marriage photograph

Immediately after their marriage, Santa and his wife went to a studio to get themselves photographed.

While taking the photo, the photographer said: “Please smile, the two of you. Later when you see this snap, you will remember that once you had laughed together.”

Santa Banta joke-Interfere

Santa: “I am very sad because it is almost a year since I married but I am yet to say a single word to my wife.”

Banta: “But why? And how is it possible?”

Santa: “My wife. had made it clear before marriage, that she doesn’t like anyone interfere when she speaks.”

Short Santa jokes-Kisses

Santa worked in Dubai and used to send money to his wife regularly. But once he wrote a letter to his wife: “Honey, this time I am sending you a hundred kisses instead of money. Make do with it.”

After a few days Santa received a reply from his wife: “Received your hundred kisses. I am indeed trying to do with them. Our land lord charges a kiss a day. Milkman agreed for five kisses. Vegetable vendor charged eight kisses. Our washer man would not agree for less than ten. The list is long. I have very few kisses in balance, hope you will send money before the balance kisses exhaust.”

Santa jokes in Hindi-Child born in three months

Santa got married and had a child born in three months. His friends joked about his possible pre-marital relationship with his wife. So Santa, fuming with rage, went to his wife and asked, “Everyone else has a baby after nine months, how is it that you had one in three months?”

Santa's wife asked, “Since how long have you been married?”

Santa said, “Three months”

The wife asked again, "Since how long have you been married?"

Santa said, “Three months”

The wife now asked, “And since how long has the baby been born?”

Santa said, “Three months”

Wife says, "So add that up, how much is that?"

Santa, dancing with joy says, “Nine!”

Short Santa jokes-Vidya

The lecturer was discussing a serious subject in class.

He noticed one of the students, Santa, looking out of the window.

The lecturer asks Santa "For what purpose are you coming to college?"

Santa: 'For Vidya, sir."

Lecturer: "Then why are you looking outside the window?"

Santa: "Because Vidya has not come till now sir."

Santa and Banta jokes in Hindi- Canada

Teacher:- Santa school late kyon aaya hai?

Santa:- Madam raat sapne mein main CANADA gaya tha.

Teacher:- Aur Banta tum?

Banta:- Madam, main Santa ko AIRPORT chhorne gaya tha!

Short Santa jokes-Dictation test

Santa teaches Hindi Teacher in class

One day he declares in class - We will be having a dictation test today.

Student sitting on the last bench- SIR ! We cannot hear you.

Santa - OK ! Let me write on blackboard.

Short Santa jokes-Gira aur lagi

Teacher: Kal school kyun nahi aaya?

Santa: Gir gaya tha, lag gayi.

Teacher: Kahan gire, kahan lagi?

Santa: Takiye pe gir gaya tha aur Aankh lag gayi.

Santa and Banta jokes in Hindi- 64 daat

Santa to Banta: Mein tere 64 ke 64 daat tod doonga.

Lucky beech mein bola: 64 nahee 32 daant hote hain.

Santa: Mujhe pata tha tu bhi bolega, iss liye tere bhi gin liye.

Short Santa jokes-Exclamatory sentence

Teacher : "One cute and young girl is walking on the road" - change this into an Punjabi exclamatory sentence.

Santa: Oye, pataka!

Santa Banta sms jokes-Share

Santa said to Banta: “I want to share my joy with you. I have just won 1000 rupees at a lottery.”

Banta: “OK, give me half the sum and I will share your joy.”