Late to work

When Santa was late for work, his boss Mr. Gupta shouted at him, "Is this the time to come to office?"

Santa pleaded, "Please forgive me Sir. My BMW did not arrive today."

Mr. Gupta was astonished and asked, "Santa, do you come to office in a BMW?"

Santa replied quickly, "No Sir. You are getting me wrong. BMW means Bartann Maanjane Waali."

Buttermilk

A customer was having buttermilk at Santa's shop. The customer commented, "Look, there is a fly in my buttermilk."

Santa commented, "Have a heart, sir. How much of your buttermilk will this little fly take away?"

Foreignor

Santa Singh asked his wife Preeto, "Do I appear as a foreigner?"

Preeto replied, "By no means! Why?"

Santa Singh said, "When I went to Bangkok, a storekeeper told me that I looked like a foreignor."

Ship travel

Santa : A hundred sardars from my village were travelling in a ship and they all died.

Banta : Oh my God! How did that happen?

Santa: Well the ship halted due to some technical fault and they all got down to push it.

Banta ki jalebi

Santa to Banta halwaai: Kitne saal se jalebi bana raha hai bhai?

Banta halwai: 14 saal se. Kyon?

Santa: Itne saal ho gaye tujhe, aur ab tak jalebi seedhi banani nahi seekha???

Take off

Santa was travelling by air for the first time. The moment the front tyres of the plane left the ground for take off, Santa Singh went to the pilot's cabin and started beating him up. 

The pilot asked, "Why the hell are you hitting me?'

Santa replied, "You idiot, I am already scared out of my wits, and you are trying to play stunts!"

Wisdom

Santa’s wife: “I am going for shopping. I need five thousand rupees.”

Santa: “More than money, you need some wisdom.”

Santa’s wife: “How can I ask for something you don’t have?”

Responsible

Santa’s girlfriend’s father: “I will give my daughter’s hand to a responsible person, are you?”

Santa: “Sure, whenever there is any mishap in our house, everybody holds me responsible.”

No more

Santa Singh was standing in the balcony of his thirteenth floor flat enjoying the breeze and life in general. Out of blue he received a call: “Santa, your wife is no more.”

Shocked and out of his mind with grief Santa jumped from the balcony.

On his way down he realized he was not married.

Only me

Santa’s girlfriend: “Honey, do you really love me? I mean, love only me?”
 
Santa: “Yes darling, I have gone through my entire list.”

Lie detector

A Frenchman, a German and an Indian Sardarji were to be put upon a lie detector to test the machine’s efficiency. 

The Frenchman said, "I assure you I can have half a bottle of neat whisky at a go.” The detector remained silent. 

The German began: "I assure you I can consume a whole bottle of neat whisky in one sitting.” The machine sounded Grrrrrrrr. 

Now it was our Sardarji’s turn:. "I assure…….” Grrrrrrr, off went the detector.

Detective firm

There was a vacancy in a detective firm. Three persons went for the interview, one Bihari, one Bengali and one Sardar. The executive at the detective agency called them one by one and asked them the same question: “Who killed Ravana?”

The Bihari replied without hesitation: “Ram.”

The Bengali took his time as is their want and said: “It was Ram.”

Now it was Sardarji’s turn. After listening to the question Sardarji paused a little and asked for some time to ponder over the issue. The boss was amused but OK’d his request and told him to answer the next day. He went home with a box of sweets in his hands and exited, told his wife: “I am in business. I already got the job and I have been entrusted to solve a murder mystery.”

Simple solution

Santa aur Banta ladkiyaan chhed rahe the.

Do ladkiyon ne pareshaan hoke Santa aur Banta ke haath mein rakhi baandh di and unko kaha : Ab aap kya karoge?

Santa ne Banta se kaha: Banta, tu meri behen se shaadi kar le, main teri behen se karta hoon!

In the bar

Santa to Banta :Yaar meri biwi ne mera mazaak banwa diya.

Banta : Kya hua

Santa : Hum log bar gaye the. Main baathroom gaya to Preeto bar tender ke saamne stool par baith gayi.
Uske left waale bande ne baar waale se kaha, "Jack Daniels, single."
Uske right wale bande ne baar waale se kaha, "Johnny Walker, single"
To Preeto bol padi, "Preeto Kaur, married!"




 

Saas

Santa was practicing yoga.

Banta asked,"Arre ye kya kar raha hai?"

Santa said, "Yog ka abhyas kar raha hoon. Baba Ramdev ji kehte hain ke fit rehna hai to saas par control karo."

Banta commented, "Arre yaar, yahaan gharwali control nahi hoti, saas pe kya khaak control karenge!"