Short Santa jokes-Alive

Santa Singh was once asked if he had lived all his life in Delhi.

Santa: “Err…..no, not yet. I am alive you see.”

Santa Banta joke-Firing squad

Santa, Banta and Manta were shipwrecked and washed up on a guerrilla island and were captured by guerrillas. They were suspected to be spies and were sentenced to death by the local Kangaroo court. They were lined up the next morning and Manta was the first to face the firing squad. As the squad took aim, Manta shouted: “EARTH QUAKE.” The firing men panicked and ran away to safety. Manta escaped.

Next morning they took Banta for the capital punishment. Banta had thought over the previous day’s incident and was ready. As the squad took aim Banta shouted: “BIG TIDAL WAVE.” Again the troop panicked and took shelter on the higher ground. Banta too escaped.

Next morning it was Santa. Santa thought the squad could not be fooled using the same tricks. So he thought of a new trick and was happy with himself. When the time came to shout, he shouted: “FIRE.”

And they did.

Short Santa jokes-Tag on FB

Police to Santa -Sir, your wife had an accident. Please come with us to identify the body.

Santa: I am busy now. Please take photo and tag me on FB - If it's her, I'll click 'Like'.

Short Santa jokes-Blank text

GF: Why are you sending blank text to me?

Santa: That's because I am not talking to you!

Santa and Banta jokes in Hindi-Begum

Santa and Banta are discussing the topic of married life and wives.

Santa: Wife ko begum kyun kehte hai?

Banta: Kyuki shaadi ke baad uske saare gum husband ke hisse mein chale jaate hai aur wife begum ho jaati hai…

Santa ki mannat

Sadhu : Beta... Koi mannat maango!

Santa : Plz mujhy phir se unmarried kar do.

Sadhu : Beta 'mannat' maango 'Jannat' nahi..

Santa Banta sms jokes-Google or Yahoo?

Santa:- 'Which is better? Google or Yahoo..?'

Banta- 'Oh wait.I'll search it on Google'

Santa ki first flight

Santa 1st time plane me baitha.
Plane runway pe chal raha tha.
Tabhi Santa ne pilot ko SLAP mara aur bola:
Sale, main late ho raha hun aur tu By road ja raha hai?

Short Santa jokes-Iodex

Santa ki kamar mein bahut dard ho raha tha, to Biwi se bola:
“Ja saath wale Verma ji se Iodex maang ke la”

Biwi: “Ji, par wo log denge nahi”

Santa: “Haan hai to bade kanjoos aur kamine log, chal apni hi almaari se nikaal le."

Short Santa jokes-As far as you want

Santa Singh got married and was driving his wife to Lonavala for honeymoon. As they were on the outskirt of the town, Santa Singh got romantic and put his hand on his wife’s knee and began to caress. His wife giggled and whispered in his ear: “Santa, dear, you can go as far as you want to.”

Santa drove her to Poona.

Santa Banta joke-To attract girls

Santa and Banta were on vacation on a foreign beach where they found bikini clad girls quite friendly.

After an hour or so, Santa complained: “Banta, I don’t understand. Initially the girls were friendly. Now they don’t talk to me. But they are still around you.”

Banta looked at Santa carefully and said: “You do one thing. Put a small rubber ball in your swim trunk. That will do the trick.”

After half an hour Santa came to Banta again and whined: “It doesn’t help. Now the girls are laughing at me.”

Again Banta looked carefully at Santa and said: “Santa, I meant you to put the ball in the front.”

Short Santa jokes-Vasectomy

Santa got himself operated for Vasectomy, reason?

Well, he didn’t want grand children anymore.

Santa's obituary

Santa Singh died of heart attack. His wife went to a news paper office to publish the news of his death. The news paper guys said that they allow only five words free of cost. The rest of the words will cost a bomb.

Santa Singh’s wife thought for a while and filled the form: “Santa died. Car for sale.”

Santa's 60th Birthday

It was Santa's 60th Birthday.

Banta: Ye Cake pe Bulb kyon lagaya hai?

Santa: 60 candles lagaane mein mushkil ho rahi thi. so 60 Watt ka BULB laga diya.

Santa ban gaya Manager

Santa clerk se Manager ban gaya.

Ghar jaakar usne ye baat new style se patni ko batayi.

Patni behosh..!!!!

Socho woh kya bola?
"Tu aaj raat se Manager ke sath soyegi."

Short Santa jokes-3 years experience

Santa mentioned 3 years experience in his resume.

Interviewer: Can u tell me in which field you have experience for 3 years?

Santa: In searching JOBS!

Santa with Bee sting

A honey bee stings that thing of Santa.
It is swollen, becomes big and very painful. He cries in pain.
His wife takes him to doctor.
She says to doctor shying : Doctor, please give him treatment to reduce ONLY THE PAIN.

Santa Banta sms jokes-Heights of laziness

Santa n Banta r studying at night.

Santa: What's the time?

Banta threw a stone out of the window.

Neighbor: Kamino, ab to so jao, raat ke 3 baj gaye..

Sardar jokes-Zulfein

Arz kiya hai....

Khidki khuli
Zulfein giri
Saamne husn ka deedar tha

Fir...

Fir kya
Zulfein hati
Kismat phooti
Woh to nahaya hua Sardar tha!

Short Santa jokes-New car

Beta- Papa, aapne humari nayee Car ka naam Mummy ke naam par kyon rakha hai?

Santa - Beta, kyon ki yeh bhi mere Control ke baahar hai.

Santa Banta sms in Hindi-Cheating

Santa aur Banta exam mein cheating karne hi wale the ki Teacher agya aur Santa se pucha: Tumse Banta ne abhi kya pucha?

Santa: Sir is ne pucha Japan ka capital kya hai.

Teacher: To tum ne bata diya?

Santa: Nai Sir.. Maie isko danta tha ki abi to tu ne muje toka hai magar ab na “TOKYO”

Santa and Banta jokes in Hindi-Dushman

Santa : Wo jo Table pe Admi betha hai Usse meri Dushmni hai

Banta : Table pe to 4 Admi hain

Santa : Wo jis ki Moochhein hain

Banta : Moochein to Sab ki hain

Santa : Wo jis ke Safaid kapde hain

Banta : Wo to Sab ke hai ,

Santar ne gusse me Pistol nikali aur 3 Admion ko mar kar bola...Wo jo reh gaya hai wo mera Dushman hai.

Short Santa jokes-Girl or boy

Teacher: Is Google a girl or a boy?

Santa: Google is a Girl.....because it won't let you complete the whole sentence and start guessing, suggesting...and you ask only one question...but get hundreds of irrelevant answers in seconds...

Santa jokes-Gadhe ki baat

Santa ghabraya hua aaya aur biwi se bola: “Begam, aaj main office se aa raha tha ki raste mein ek gadha…!”

Itne mein unki bachhi bol uthi: “Mummy, Chintu ne meri gudiya tod di hai.”

Santa ne phir kehna shuru kiya “Haan toh begam, main keh raha tha ki raste mein ek gadha…..!”

Itne mein unka ladka bola: “Mummy, Rita ne meri car tod di hai.”

Biwi gusse mein aakar boli: “Bhagwan ke liye tum sab chup ho jao, mujhe pehle gadhe ki baat sun lene do..!”

Short Santa jokes-Kiss

Master: kal school kyon nahi aaye?

Santa: Sir girlfriend se milne gaya tha

Master: Kis liye?

Santa: Yes sir

Master: Maine pucha kis liye?

Santa: Liye sir, bahut kiss liye...

Short Santa jokes-Ice fishing

Santa went to Switzerland and once decided to go for ice-fishing.

He returned with twenty pounds of ice.

Santa Banta joke-Wipers

Santa: I showed you the headlights to say that I will go first.

Banta: I also started the wipers to say no, no, no!!

Santa's three wives

Santa's Wife: Aapne shadi se pehle kyon nahi bataya ki aapki teen biwiyan hain?

Santa: Bataya to tha ke mai tumhe Mallika, Rani aur Shehzadi ki tarah rakhunga.

Short Santa jokes-Shoot!

In an African Safari, a lion suddenly pounced on Santa's wife.

Santa's wife : Shoot him! Shoot him!

Santa: Hold on,I'm changing the battery of my camera.

Frustrated Santa

Frustrated Santa to GF

Kab tak mera dil dhukaogi?
Kab tak pait phar ke Fast Food khaogi?
Darling issi tarah khati rahogi
Toh mujhse phansne se pehle Darwaze mein phans jaogi.