Santa's talkative son

Santa’s son got his progress report card from school. The Report said that the boy was quite normal, well behaved and was progressing well. But he was very talkative. The class teacher added: “But nothing to get worried about. I have already thought of an idea to cure him of this habit. Let’s see how it succeeds.”

While signing the report Santa Singh added: “Thank you for your concern and if you succeed, please be kind enough to share the idea with me. I would like to try it out on junior’s mother.”

Santa missing!

Santa’s wife: “Inspector, my husband has not returned home for the past three days.”

Inspector: “Do you know where he wanted to go?”

Mrs. Santa : “Yes, He went to buy potatoes and has not returned since.”

Inspector: “Madam, can’t you make do with some other vegetables?”

Santa Banta joke-Talking to wife

Santa was talking softly to someone on phone. Banta asked him who he was talking to.

Santa: “Wife.”

Banta: “What, with such care?”

Santa: “Yes, it’s your wife.”

Short Santa jokes-Paheli

Santa's Son: Papa is paheli ka jawab do, Masal masal ke khara kia aur thook laga ke ghusa dia

Santa: Maar khayega kya?

Santa's son: Are papa SUI ME DHAGA, aap bhi na galat sochte ho.

Short Santa jokes-Pyaar mein barbaad

Girl: Main Tumhare Pyaar Mein Marr Gayi Lutt Gayi Barbaad Ho Gayi . .

Santa: Main Kon As Tere Pyar Mein BILL GATES Ban Gaya ..

Santa Banta sms in Hindi-Shayaari

Santa is in mood for Shayaari.

Santa: "Arz hai Usko aana hoga to khud hi chali ayegi"

Banta: "Wah wah"

Santa: "Usko aana hoga to khud hi chali aayegi,
yoon baith ke toilet mein zor lagane se kya faida"

Short Santa jokes-Anyone like me

Santa's ex-girlfriend says: 'you will never find anyone like me'

Santa replies: "Well..that's the whole point."

Short Santa jokes-Salary

Santa finds a new way to threaten his boss.

"If you do not increase my salary, I will tell everyone in the office that you have increased my salary."

Santa and Banta jokes in Hindi-Ek jaise

Santa: Agar duniya mein saari aurton ke chehra ek jaise hote toh kya hota?

Banta: Hona kya tha, gas cylinder ki tarah aaj iske ghar kal uske ghar.

Santa and Banta sms jokes-Stuck in tunnel

Santa’s truck was stuck in a low tunnel. Banta’s truck followed him and he found that the load in Santa’s truck was touching top of the tunnel and was stuck.

So Banta asked Santa to deflate his truck's tyres. Santa looked at Banta in surprise and said: “Are you that blind? The truck is stuck on the top, not bottom.”

Santa's angry wife

Santa se uski biwi boli - Iss bar koi janwaron ke doctor ko dikhao, tabhi aap theekh hogey…

Santa - Woh kyon ?

Biwi - Roz Subah Murge ki tarah jaldi uthh jate ho...
Ghode ki tarah bhag ke office chale jate ho...
Gadhe ki tarah din bhar kaam karte ho...
Lomdi ki tarah idhar-udhar se information batorkar report banatey ho...
Bandar ki tarah boss ke isharon par nachtey ho...
Ghar aakar pariwar par Kutte ki tarah chillatey ho....
Aur fir Bhains ki tarah so jaatey ho.
Insaano ka doctor tumhe kya khakh theekh kar payega...

Short Santa jokes-Insult

Waiter: 10 Rs ki tip meri insult hai.

Santa: To phir?

Waiter: 20 Rs to do!

Santa: Nahi yaar, main tumhari double insult nahi kar sakta.

Short Santa jokes-Celebrating

Santa's wife: Look at that Drunkard!

Santa: Who is he?

Wife: 10 years back he proposed to me & I rejected his proposal.

Santa: Oh m God, h is still celebrating!!!

Santa Banta joke-Tongue twister

Santa : Nine pipe pour bun pipe pour pipe bun pipe pour

Banta : Is it a tongue twister?

Santa : It’s Lalu Prasad giving his mobile number.

Santa's idea-How to make the Police work

Two thieves entered Santa’s house. While they were on their job, Santa found an opportunity and locked them in. The thieves were trapped. Santa called the police: “Inspector, I have thieves in my house. Please come soon.

Inspector: “There is no one at the police station right now” and cut the line.

Five minutes later, Santa had an idea and asked his wife to call the inspector.

She called and said: “Inspector, I am scared. Two thieves have broken in and I am all alone.”

Inspector: “Just two minutes madam, I will be there myself. Let’s have your name and address.”

Santa Banta sms jokes-Butter

Santa: “You know the story about that piece of butter you bought me?”

Banta: “Don’t tell me. I don’t want you to spread it around.”

Santa Banta joke-Marriage procession

Santa: “Banta, tell me something. Why do so many people accompany the groom to a bride’s place in baraat (marriage procession) ?”

Banta: “It is our age old tradition that never mind if you don’t participate in somebody’s happy event, but you must participate in one’s misfortunes.

Short Santa jokes-Katrina

Santa writes a letter to Katrina Kaif

Dear Katrina

It's only a mango drink, not a mango-flavored condom.

Take it easy girl.

Regards

Santa Singh

Santa's wife

Mrs. Santa was trying to call her husband for quite some time but could not get him. Exasperated, she asked her nine year old to contact his father and ask him to come home early.

After a while, junior Santa told her that a woman was picking up the phone every time he called, and he couldn’t get to talk to his father. Mrs. Santa was ready for a big showdown when Santa returned home: “Who was that woman?”

Santa listened to her tale of woe and kept his patience. He asked his son: “Tell me, what that woman was saying?”

Son: “This number cannot be approached. Please try again.”

Santa Banta sms jokes-Stone

Santa: If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what will it become?

Banta: It will simply become wet.

Santa's cooking

Santa set in front of the TV and spent the entire day surfing channels. He was of no help to his wife and just lazed around.

One day he asked: “What’s there for dinner?”

Wife (exasperated): “Why don’t you cook for a change? Just presume that I am at my parents’.”

Santa: “OK.”

A couple of hours later she got impatient and went to see, what was cooking. Santa was not in the kitchen. Dirty utensils were lying around the sink. There was no food left. She found Santa in their bedroom snoring loudly. Now angry, she woke him and asked: “Did you have your dinner?”

Santa: “Sure.”

Wife:” Why didn’t you make anything for me?”

Santa: “I assumed you are at your parents’.”

Message to Harbhajan Singh

Mukesh Ambani sends a message to Mumbai Indians captain HARBHAJAN SINGH:

"If you win, you can lift my wife;
But, if you lose, you'll have to lift my SON''

Darr ke aage jeet hai..........

Funny Santa joke-Diary

Santa and his wife used to write in their personal diaries every day.

One day, his wife wrote the following in her diary “He is not in mood today…..has remained silent and brooding…..doesn’t respond to my questions. May be he is tired of me. Worst still, if there is another woman in his life. Oh my God, I tried to get closer to him in bed……but he turned away. What am I to do? What will happen to me? Whom should I confide into?” Sobbing, she kept awake all night.

Santa wrote in his diary: “India lost today……damn it - not in mood for anything.” And he started snoring.

Santa Banta sms jokes-Tyres

Santa: You know, husband and wife are like 2 tyres of a scooter. If one tyre gets a puncture, the scooter can't move ahead.

Banta: Always keep a spare tyre!

Short Santa jokes-Marriage photograph

Immediately after their marriage, Santa and his wife went to a studio to get themselves photographed.

While taking the photo, the photographer said: “Please smile, the two of you. Later when you see this snap, you will remember that once you had laughed together.”

Santa Banta joke-Interfere

Santa: “I am very sad because it is almost a year since I married but I am yet to say a single word to my wife.”

Banta: “But why? And how is it possible?”

Santa: “My wife. had made it clear before marriage, that she doesn’t like anyone interfere when she speaks.”

Short Santa jokes-Kisses

Santa worked in Dubai and used to send money to his wife regularly. But once he wrote a letter to his wife: “Honey, this time I am sending you a hundred kisses instead of money. Make do with it.”

After a few days Santa received a reply from his wife: “Received your hundred kisses. I am indeed trying to do with them. Our land lord charges a kiss a day. Milkman agreed for five kisses. Vegetable vendor charged eight kisses. Our washer man would not agree for less than ten. The list is long. I have very few kisses in balance, hope you will send money before the balance kisses exhaust.”

Santa jokes in Hindi-Child born in three months

Santa got married and had a child born in three months. His friends joked about his possible pre-marital relationship with his wife. So Santa, fuming with rage, went to his wife and asked, “Everyone else has a baby after nine months, how is it that you had one in three months?”

Santa's wife asked, “Since how long have you been married?”

Santa said, “Three months”

The wife asked again, "Since how long have you been married?"

Santa said, “Three months”

The wife now asked, “And since how long has the baby been born?”

Santa said, “Three months”

Wife says, "So add that up, how much is that?"

Santa, dancing with joy says, “Nine!”

Short Santa jokes-Vidya

The lecturer was discussing a serious subject in class.

He noticed one of the students, Santa, looking out of the window.

The lecturer asks Santa "For what purpose are you coming to college?"

Santa: 'For Vidya, sir."

Lecturer: "Then why are you looking outside the window?"

Santa: "Because Vidya has not come till now sir."

Santa and Banta jokes in Hindi- Canada

Teacher:- Santa school late kyon aaya hai?

Santa:- Madam raat sapne mein main CANADA gaya tha.

Teacher:- Aur Banta tum?

Banta:- Madam, main Santa ko AIRPORT chhorne gaya tha!

Short Santa jokes-Dictation test

Santa teaches Hindi Teacher in class

One day he declares in class - We will be having a dictation test today.

Student sitting on the last bench- SIR ! We cannot hear you.

Santa - OK ! Let me write on blackboard.

Short Santa jokes-Gira aur lagi

Teacher: Kal school kyun nahi aaya?

Santa: Gir gaya tha, lag gayi.

Teacher: Kahan gire, kahan lagi?

Santa: Takiye pe gir gaya tha aur Aankh lag gayi.

Santa and Banta jokes in Hindi- 64 daat

Santa to Banta: Mein tere 64 ke 64 daat tod doonga.

Lucky beech mein bola: 64 nahee 32 daant hote hain.

Santa: Mujhe pata tha tu bhi bolega, iss liye tere bhi gin liye.

Short Santa jokes-Exclamatory sentence

Teacher : "One cute and young girl is walking on the road" - change this into an Punjabi exclamatory sentence.

Santa: Oye, pataka!