Santa and Banta jokes in Hindi-Cheeni

Santa ne biwi ke saath pyar karne ke liye codeword rakha "CHALO CHEENI KHAYE"

Ek don unka naukar Banta Unki Jawan Beti ke sath pyar karta pakda gaya

Santa : Saale...kya kar raha hai?

Banta : chini kha raha Hun malik..

Santa : chini hi khani thi to khuli bori me se kha leta. Nayee bori kyun kholi?

Short Santa jokes-Larai

Santa: Jaanu, socha call ker loon.Tum miss ker rahi hogi?

Wife: 5 minute pehlay jo larai hui thi wo kya tha?

Santa :O fittay moonh, phir ghar ka number mil gya.

Santa and Banta jokes in Hindi

Santa : Aaj main eek jaan bachai. Pucho kaise?

Banta : Kaise

Santa : Maine ek bihari ko pucha ki 1000 ka note du to kya karega? Bihari bola khushi se mar jaunga...Maine nahi diya….

Short Santa jokes-Newton's Law

Sir: Define the Newton's law.

Santa: Sir mujhe pura nahin aata, sirf last ka thoda aata hai.

Sir: Jitna aata hai utna bolo.

Santa: and this is called the Newton's Law!

Short Santa jokes-Teacher

School me Teacher ne Santa se poochha: "Mujh me koi bhi kami nahi hai, to mujhe aap log kya kehke bulaaoge ??"

Santa: Kami-na

Santa Banta sms in Hindi-Skirt

Santa : Har subject ke syllabus ko ladkion ki minni skirt ki tarah hona chahiye,

Banta : Kyon?

Santa: Itna chhota ki interest bhi bana rahe, aur jaruri cheej bhi cover ho jaye.

Short Santa jokes in Hindi-Ladkiwale

Ladkiwale to Santa: Beta drink karte ho

Santa- Ji haan.

Ladkiwale : Cigarate?

Santa - Harroz.

Ladkiwale : Jua/satta

Santa- Bilkul.

Ladkiwale : Danga/fasad

Santa - Aadat hai.

Ladkiwale :Sari negative batein, Kuch positive bhi hai?

Santa : Hai na, HIV !

Santa and Banta jokes in Hindi-Kya sikha?

Santa : 2011 Se Kya Seekha..??

Banta: Thappar se dar nahi lagta pyar se lagta hai..!!

Munni badnaam, sheila jawan ho sakti hai..!!

Dil dedo nahi to dil ka achaar dal jayega..!!

Tirchhee nazar se dil penchar ho sakta hai or tyre bhi..!!

'Tinku' and 'Jiya' isak ka manjan ghiste hain..!!

4 baje tak party baaki rehti hai..!!

We can call jalebi as jalebi bai..!!

12 mahino mein 12 tarike se pyar karne ki techniques..!!

Govt Can maaf 7 khoon..!!

Ravan apni wife ko pyar se chammak challo bulata tha..!!

Aap apne brother ki dulhan par bhi line maar sakte hain..!!

Teri meri prem kahani mushkil ho sakti hai agr bodyguard beech mein aa jaye..!!

Emraan hashmi ki har picture dirty nahi ho sakti..!!

Asli don se ziyada kamaai movie ke don kar sakte hain..!!

Santa Banta joke-Teachers

Santa : Teachers Are Like Babies.

Banta : Why?

Santa : They Think if they Scream They can Get Everything they Want.

Santa and Banta jokes in Hindi-Khatiya

Santa Shehar Se Khatiya Khareed Ke Sir Par Rakh Kar Ghar Wapas Ja Raha tha.

Raste Main Banta Ne Poocha: “Kitne Ki Laye Ho?”

Santa: “Rs. 800 Ki”

Banta: “Marwaa ke aaye, Yahaan To Rs. 600 Ki Mil Jati”

Thori Dur Chalne Par Ek Aur Dost Mila.

Dost: “Kitne Ki Laye Ho?”

Santa: “Rs. 600 Ki”

Dost: “Marwa Aaye, Yahaan To Rs. 400 Ki Mil Jati.”

Santa Ne Suna Aur Chup Chaap Chal Diya, Phir Ek Aur Dost Raste Mein Mil Jata Hai.

Dost: “Kahaan Se Aa Rahe Ho”

Sardar Gusse Se: “Marwa Ke Aa Raha Hoon”

Dost Huste Hue: “Achha Apni Khatiya Bhi Sath Le Ke Jate Ho“

Santa Banta sms in Hindi-Zindagi na milegi dubara

Santa : Condom manufacturers have coined a new slogan on AIDS. Have you heard it?

Banta: No. What is it?

Santa: “Zindagi na milegi dubara…..please use gubbara….!!

Sardar jokes-5 mistakes

5 mistake of Manmohan Singh G:

1) 2G
2) 3G
3) CWG
4) Listening to soniaG
5) Forgetting AnnaG

Ho gaya so ho gaya,
Ab to sudhar jao
SARDAR G

Santa and Banta jokes in Hindi-Suhaag raat

Santa: Suhaag raat Kaisi Rahi?

Banta: Bohat acchi Rahi, Waise ek baat bataoon, Wo Jis Tarah Ki Harkaten Kar Rahi Thi, Mai Chaahta Tou Uski Le Sakta Tha.

Short Santa jokes in Hindi-Mehfooz

Raat Ke 3 Baje Phone Aya

"Hello! Yahan FATIMA MEHFOOZ Rehti Hai Kya?"

Santa :- Abe Saale Raat Ke 3 Baje Agar FATIMA Mere Paas Hoti To MEHFOOZ Rehti Kya.?

Santa Banta jokes-Movies made after drinks

Santa : If movies were made after drinks...they would be called

1) Sita aur Margarita
2) Corona Pyaar Hai
3) Soda Akbar
4) Rab Ne Pila di Thodi
5) Rum whiskey se kam nahi
6) Rum de basanti

Banta: I have some more ideas

1) Hum tight ho chuke sanam
2) Jo pilaye wahi bartender
3) Rum Maaro Rum
4) Beer Zaara
5) Bev-D
6) Bevde Zameen Par

Short Santa joke in Hindi-sms

Wife: Jaanu kash aap sms hote, main aapko save karti, jab chahe padhti.

Santa: Kanjoos save hi karke rakhti ya apni kisi saheli ko forward bhi karti?

Santa Banta sms in Hindi-GF

Santa was going with his G.F.
Banta asked: Who is she?
Santa: My cousin.
Banta smiled and said: Last year she was my cousin..!

Short Santa jokes in Hindi-Teen raniyaan

Santa : Raja Dashrath ki teen raniyaan thi.

Wife : Toh?

Santa : Toh main do shadiyaan aur kar sakta hoon!

Wife: Soch lo. Draupadi ke 5 pati they.

Santa : Tu bhi naa, dil pe le leti hai.

Santa and Banta jokes in Hindi-Bus

Santa runs after the bus, catches it and asks Banta, the driver:
"Bus teri Maa lagti hai?"

Banta : Nahin.

Santa : "Bahen lagti hai?"
Banta : Naa.
Santa : To phir chadne kyon nahin deta?

Short Santa jokes-Caption

Mayawati got a modelling assignment for Amul milk. So she posed with many buffaloes.

Santa, the reporter, published the picture in newspaper with caption, "Mayawati, 3rd from left."

Short Santa jokes in Hindi-Visphotak samagri

Police:- "Humey pakki Khabar mili hai ki aapke Ghar mein visphotak samagri hai..!!"

Santa~ "Sir khabar to ekdum pakki hai par Wo abhi Maikey gayi hai..!!"

Short Santa jokes-Limiting the cross

Santa, an Akali leader, was fulminating against the Congress. Addressing a crowded university meeting, he thundered, 'The Congress wallahs are all waters of the first rogue.' The audience burst into laughter over his lapse of tongue. Santa realized he had made a mistake. He joined the palms of his hands to ask for pardon, I am very sorry, it is a tongue of slip.' This time the laughter was louder than before. The gentleman that he was, Santa was genuinely contrite, 'You must pardon me. I am always limiting the cross.'

Santa Banta joke-Ghazal and Lecture

Santa : What is the difference between GHAZAL & LECTURE?

Banta : Every word spoken by other's wife is GHAZAL & every word spoken by own wife is LECTURE...

Santa Banta sms jokes-Gates of Heaven

Santa : Steve Jobs has reached the Gates of Heaven.

Banta : Apsaras will now be called iTems....!!!

Short Santa jokes in Hindi-Computer password

Santa ki wife computer on kartay huay boli: Janu apna password batana ?

Santa: lulli

Wife password enter kar Kay Hans Hans kar chair say gir gai kyun k computer ke screen par likha tha: “Your password is too short”

Short Santa jokes-Famous Indians

History Teacher: "Name some famous Indians who struggled against the British ?"

Santa: "Tendulkar, Dravid, Laxman, Sehwag, Dhoni, Raina..." !!!

Santa Banta sms in Hindi-Start

Banta chabi se apna kaan khuja raha tha.

Santa use ghur ke dekh raha tha, kuch der baad bola

Arre Banta, agar tu start nahi ho raha hai, to dhakka lagau?

Santa and banta jokes in Hindi-Pareshan

Banta: Pareshan lag rahe ho.
Santa: Yaar baap ban ne wala hu.
Banta: Yeh to khushi ki baat hai.
Santa: Lekin biwi ko nahi pata.

Santa Banta sms in Hindi-Tum kab aye?

Santa ne apni biwi ko surprise dene ke liye apne niche ke baal katwaye. Raat ko chupke se jake let gaye.

Nind mein Begum ne jab hath fera to boli: BANTA, tum kab aye ?