Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Short Santa jokes-Addition to Newton's Law

Santa badly wanted to be known as a great man. So after a long research he made an addition to Newton's Laws of Motion and was awarded 2010 Nobel Prize. It says:

"Loose motion can never be done in slow motion".

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Santa joke in Hindi-Salary

Lady in a bus, "Aapka kuchh mujhe touch ho raha hai"

Santa, "Ohhh.. Woh to meri salary pocket me hain na woh hogi"

Lady,"Abey Saale! Teri salary 2 minute me 4 guna badh gayi hai kya?"

Monday, March 29, 2010

Santa Banta joke-Scared of Water

Santa: Pal, my wife is very much scared of water.

Banta: How can you say that.

Santa: When I go home at noon, she is taking bath with the security guard.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Santa Banta SMS - Message to girlfriend

Santa: I sent SMS to my Girlfriend that I will be coming in night.

And when I went in night she was with somebody else.

Banta: Do not get disappointed !

It is possible that she might not have received SMS.


Santabanta jokes - Viagra

Santa walking through a bazaar, when a stranger comes up to him and offers to sell him some illegal Viagra for 1,000 Rupees.

"No, not worth it !"

"OK, how about 500 Rupees?"

"No, not worth it !"

"OK, 200?"

"No, not worth it!"

"How about 100?"

"No, not worth it!"

"Listen, these pills cost $10 American each. How can you say they are not worth it?"

"Oh no ! the pills are worth it, it's my wife who is not worth it."

Santa jokes in Hindi-Kiss naam se save

Santa apni girlfriend se milne gaya, kuch baat ke baad uski girlfirend chaye(tea) banane ke liye kitchen chali gayi.

Girlfriend ka mobile sofay pe dekh kar Santa ne socha ke chalo dekhte hai mera number iss ne kis naam se save kya hai? Dear, sweetu ya jaanu.

Jab usne missed call di toh screen pe likha tha : Murgha No.5 Calling .

Friday, March 26, 2010

Short Santa joke in Hindi-Butter Naan

Santa ek party mein gaya aur waha usne 8 butter naan kha liye.

Kuch der baad toilet mein pet pakad ke ro raha tha bhagwan se request kar raha tha ki, Hey bhagwan ya toh jaan nikal de ya naan nikal de!

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Short Santa joke-Make sentence in english

Interviewer: Can you make a sentence using GREEN, PINK and YELLOW.

Santa: Yes sure, why not.
My phone rings GREEN GREEN, I PINK it up and say YELLOW.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Sardar joke-Cheating in exam

3 Sardars after exam
1st:Yaar mujhey kuch nahi ata tha, main paper khali chor aya hon.
2nd: Main bhi!
3rd:Shit yaar, teacher samjhegi hum ne cheating ki hay!

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Santa Banta jokes-Bathroom mein

Santa: Tum bathroom mein kyu ghus aaye, Kya tumhe pata nahi tha ki mein naha raha hoon?

Banta: Galti ho gayi, mein samjha tumhari wife hai.

Santa Banta jokes in Hindi-Purse bhool gaya

Santa to Banta: Main apna purse ghar bhool aaya, mainu 1000 Rs chahide si.

Banta: Dost hi dost de kam aunda hai, le 10 Rs, riksha kar te purse le aa.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Santa Banta joks-Drink coffee fast

Santa: (in a coffee shop to Banta):Drink the coffee fast.
Banta: Why? It is too hot.
Santa: I am paying. Drink it hot.
Banta: Why?
Santa: Didn't you see the menu? Hot coffee Rs.30. Cold coffee Rs.45

Friday, March 19, 2010

Sardar jokes-Arrested!

A Sardarji , a German and a Pakistani got arrested consuming alcohol which is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia , so for the terrible crime they are all sentenced 20 lashes each of the whip.

As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik announced:
'It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping.'

The German was first in line; he thought for a while and then said:
'Please tie a pillow to my back.'

This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes & the German had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain.

The Pakistani was next up. After watching the German in horror he said smugly: '
Please fix two pillows to my back.'

But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes & the Pakistani was also led away whimpering loudly.

The Sardarji was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said:

'You are from a most beautiful part of the world and your culture is one of the finest in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!'

'Thank you, your Most Royal and Merciful highness,' Sardarji replied.

'In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes.'

'Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave.' The Sheik said with an admiring look on his face.

'If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it.' And what is your second wish?' the Sheik asked.

Sardarji smiled and said, 'Tie the Pakistani to my back' !!!

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Short Santa jokes-Passive voice

Santa was writing the passive voice of 'I made a mistake.'

He wrote: I was made by a mistake.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Santa Banta jokes in Hindi-Deaf lagti hai

Banta: Wo ladki deaf lagti hai. Main kuch kehta hoon, woh kuch aur hi bolti hai.

Santa: Kaise?

Banta: Maine kaha I Luv U, to woh boli 'Maine kal hi Naye Sandal kharide hain'

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Short Santa jokes-Nurse

Santa to a doc: Apne nurse bahut achchi rakhi hai, uska haath lagtey hi mein theek ho gaya.

Doc: Jaanta hoon, thappad ki awaaz mujhe bhi sunai di thi.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Sardar jokes-Ghar pe nahin

Phone ki ring baji.

Santa: Phone mere liye ho to kehna mein ghar pe nahin hoon.

Jeeto phone pe: Wo ghar pe hain.

Santa: Maine mana kiya that...

Jeeto: Phone mere liye tha!

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Short Santa jokes-Crow shit

A crow shits on a Banta. Preeto gives tissue paper to him.

Banta: Koi phayda nahin, kauwa toh ud gaya!

Friday, March 12, 2010

Santa Banta jokes in Hindi-Pappi

Santa: Oh yaar main badi mushkil mein hoon. Meri biwi mujhse ek pappi ka Ek rupeya leti hai.

Banta: Oh yaar tu lucky hai, auron se to woh 5 rupye leti hai.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Short Santa jokes-A & B

Santa meets his old friend.

Santa: A & B, A & B, A & B, A & B, A & B.

Friend: Oye, iska matlab?

Santa: Kuch nahin yaar, I mean long time no C.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Santa Banta jokes in Hindi-Topein

Banta: Jab main paida hua tha to military walon ne 21 topein chalayeen thi.

Santa: Kamaal hai ! Sab ka nishana chook gaya ?

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Short Santa jokes-Sona kahan hai?

Daku Mangal Singh Banta ke ghar mein ghusa aur bola: Sona kahan hai, jaldi bataao

Banta: Pura ghar khali hai malko, jithe marzi so jao!

Monday, March 8, 2010

Short Santa jokes in Hindi-Gobar jaisa

Santa to Jeeto: Kaisi sabzi banai hai, bilkul Gobar jaisa swad hai.

Jeeto, maatha peet te hue: Hey bhagwan! Na jane inhone kya-kya kha ke dekha hua hai.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Santa Banta jokes-The party

Santa moved into a new house in a Lalu Colony.

The neighbor Milka singh who came to help said, “Hey what do you say, I have party in my house, there will be drinking, eating, singing, dancing, kissing, hugging, caressing, f*cking, and all that, Want to join?

Banta said, "Sure I enjoy sexy parties, what should I wear for the party?"

Santa said, "Oh come as you are, it is just only you and me."

Friday, March 5, 2010

Santa Banta jokes-Switched Off

Santa: I tried ur number so many times, it always said 'Switched Off'!"

Banta: Nooo, it's my HELLO TUNE!

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Short Santa jokes-Colours

Santa went out to buy an Indian flag.

The shop owner gave him the flag.

Guess what did he ask next...

Ismein aur colour dikhayiye.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Santa Banta jokes-De brief

Santa rushes to his boss.
"Sir, Banta is standing outside your office with a basket full of underwear".
Boss: "Holy shit, I told him to 'de-brief' his team."

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Sardar jokes-Donkey kick

A donkey kicked a Sardar & ran away.
Sardar ran to catch the donkey.
He saw a zebra & started beating it & said 'SALA Tracksuit pahan ke dhoka de raha hai'.