Santa jokes-Photo in wallet

Jasmeet : You always carry my photo in your wallet to the office. Why?
Santa : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Jasmeet : You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Santa : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?"

Short Santa Banta jokes - Driver

Santa's wife ran away with his driver.

So Banta asked "What you will do now ? "

Santa: "What's big deal in that ? I will drive the car myself "

Santa Banta jokes in Hindi-Plastic surgery

Santa bada dukhi tha!

Banta ne uss se poocha, kyun tension mein ho?

Santa: Yaar ek dost ko plastic surgery ke liye 2 lakh rupeey diye thay, aB saale ko peehchan nahi pa raha hoon!

Santa Banta sms jokes-Gaay ka doodh

Santa Ek kilo gaay(cow) ka doodh dena.

Banta: Lekin tumhara bartan toh bahut chhota hai.

Santa: Theek hai toh phir bakri ka de de.

Short Santa jokes-Go further

Santa was driving with girlfriend Preeto to Chandigarh. He puts his hand on her lap.
She smiles and says, "You can go further dear..".
So, Santa drives to SHIMLA.

Sardar jokes-Santa's wife

Wife: Aap bahut mote ho gaye ho.
Santa: Tum bhi toh kitni moti ho gayi ho,
Wife: Main toh maa banne wali hoon!
Santa: Main bhi toh baap banne wala hoon.

Santa Banta jokes-Test By Puncture

Santa meets Banta in a hospital and expresses surprise, "What are you here for?"

Banta says, "I am here for blood test and these idiots are going to puncture my finger."

Santa started crying, "Oh my God, I am here for urine test and I am too young yet, what will happen to me?"

Short Santa jokes-Slapped telephone operator

Santa went to a STD/ISD/PCO SHOP and slapped the operator twice. Guess why ?
Because there it was written "Number Dial Karne Se Pehele Do Lagae"

Funny Santa Jokes - Bullet proof

Santa joined army.

While going on border he put on mosquito mat instead of bullet proof jacket.

Captain asked " Why are you wearing mosquito net ? "

Santa replied " If mosquito can not enter into it , how bullet will enter ? "

Short Santa jokes-Like most

Jasmeet : "What do you like most in me: my pretty face or my body?"
Santa : looking at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of Humor".

Santa Banta Jokes in Hindi - family

Santa ne Banta ko apni family se introduce karvaya

" O ji , main sardar hun , ye meri sardarni hai ,

ye mera kid hai aur ye meri kidni (kidney) hai !"

Santa banta SMS - all keys

Santa sends sms message to Banta

A B C D E F G H I J K

L M N O P Q R S T U

V W X Y Z

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0

Thank GOD , all keys are working !

Short Santa jokes-Choices

It was mealtime on Punjab Airline .
Air Hostess : "Would you like dinner?"
Santa : "What are my choices?"
Air Hostess : "Yes or no"

Santa Banta jokes-Infuriated

Santa : "When my wife is infuriated, she starts shouting at me, my children and even at our dogs and nobody dares answer her."
Banta : "And when you are angry, what do you do?"
Santa : "I also shout angrily at the windows and doors of the house and none of them dares to answer back."

Santabanta SMS jokes - Train

Santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway track.

Banta: Santa u’ll die.

Santa: U’ll die bcoz haven’t u heard train is coming on platform?

Santa Banta jokes in Hindi-Fire fighter

Santa: Yaar aaj pehli bar Maine accha kaam kya, jiss par logon NE mujhe bohat mara!

Banta: Who kya..

Santa: Ek makan mein aag lagi thi, aur andar kuch log thay, Maine window tori aur andar ja kar sab logon ko bahar nikal diya.

Banta: Toh logon NE kyun mara

Santa: Yaar, kyun ke who sab log fire fighter thay!

Short Santa Jokes - Pizza Hut

Q: Why did Santa take his pregnant wife Jaspreet to Pizza Hut?

A: Because they advertised: 'Free Delivery'

Indian Sardar Jokes - Train driving

One train which was going peacefully on the rail-tracks
suddenly deviated from the tracks and went to the fields nearby
and then came back on the tracks.

The passengers were horrified. On the next Railway station the
driver was caught : He was found to be a Sardar .

He was questioned . He explained that there
was a man standing on the tracks and he was not moving
from there even after lots of honks etc .

Then authorities questioned : Sardarji are you mad! just to
save life of one person you put life of so many passengers
under danger.You should have overran that person .

Sardar said : Exactly, that is what i also decided, but this idiot
started running towards the field when the train came very close.

Santa Doctor Jokes - Keys

Santa: I have swallowed a key.

Doctor: When?

Santa: 2 months back!

Doctor: What were you doing till now?

Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too.

Santa SMS joke - Titanic

Titanic was sinking.

An Englishman asked Santa, "How far is land"?

Santa: 2 kms.

Englishman jumped into sea.

Englishman : Now, which direction?

Santa: Downwards!

Sant Banta jokes-Same service

Santa : "When we were first married, I would come home from the office, Jasmeet would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking. Now after ten years it's all different, I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking."

Banta : "Why complain?, You're still getting the same service!"

Short Santa jokes-In Love

Doctor Santa falls in love with a Nurse.
He writes a love letter to the Nurse :-
I Love You sister….

Santa Banta jokes in Hindi-Bomb blast

Minister: Bomb blast mein halak honay walon ko 5 lakh or zakhmi kay liye 3 lakh denay ka elaan hai.

Santa: ...or awaz sun kay jiska gand phatt gaya, uska kiya???

Santa Banta jokes-Going to be a Father

Santa : "You looked troubled, what's your problem?"
Banta : "I'm going to be a father."
Santa : "But that's wonderful,"
Banta : "What's wonderful? My wife Preeto doesn't know about it yet.

Short Santa jokes-Fortune

Santa : "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?"
Jasmeet : "Honey, I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE"

Santa jokes-Divorce

Jasmeet : "Your honor, I want to divorce my husband Santa."
Judge : "But why ?"
Jasmeet : "Because he is not faithful to me."
Judge : "How do you know ?"
Jasmeet : "My lord, not a single child resembles him."

Santa Banta jokes-Fax

Banta : I was away for a week. Yesterday I sent a fax to my wife Preeto that I'd be home tonight, and when I got into my room I found Preeto in another man's arms.
Santa : kept silent for a few minutes, then coolly said, "Maybe, she didn't get the fax."

Santa Banta jokes-Suffer

From his death bed, Santa called his wife Jasmeet and said, "One month after I die I want you to marry Banta."
Jasmeet : "Banta ! But he is your enemy !"
Santa : "Yes, I know that ! I've suffered all these years so let him suffer now."

Santa Jokes - Abortion

Santa broke an egg to make omelet.

But the egg was empty !

Santa : "What kind of days have come ! Hen are doing abortion !"

Santa Banta jokes-Virgin rumor

Santa was curious, he asked his friend Banta:
"Was your wife a virgin when you married her?
Puzzled Banta replied"I really don't know. Some say yes. Some say no."

SMS Sardar jokes - No joke

Sardarji is irritated of Jokes made on him.

He goes to his wife and

said “Tell me one joke in which I am not involved”

Wife: "I am Pregnant"